Thursday, May 3, 2012

Stella Telleria's Current Query

I'm starting to get back into the swing of things, so let's get right to it. Do you all know Stella? No? Well then go visit her blog, and become a follower.

Back? Great.

Here's her query:

Dear Agent,

When ex-marine, Mia Mitchell, steps into a dark alley looking for a fight, she finds one. The problem is she wakes up on a parallel world. That’s one mad left-hook.

The fight leads to a job offer any sane person would refuse. So, she takes it. She’s got nothing to lose. Turns out the other side of the rabbit-hole leads to a utopia where freedom doesn’t exist, and fighting for it means execution. Mia finds herself with an underground syndicate of men longing for freedom, but not all agree they need her to show them the way.

At first she helps to ensure her ticket home, but before long she's embroiled in a war unlike any she's known. The fight for their independence becomes her own, and the last hope of salvation for her tortured soul and wounded heart. Haunted by nightmares and post-traumatic stress, unsure who to trust or how to get home, she discovers the man who gave her the job isn’t being honest. It smells like a set up.

Eben, an ex-slave, is trying to understand freedom when all he’s known is oppression and cruelty. He looks to Mia for more than redemption, but for a connection he’s never felt with anyone. The problem is Mia wants to leave and if Eben can’t make her stay then the power struggle within the syndicate can make their battle for freedom impossible. But worse than that is losing the only person who hasn’t treated him as a slave.

THE MALE AMENDMENT is a 115,000 word speculative/romantic novel with series potential and duelling POVs. Thank you for your consideration.


Stella Telleria

That's it.

Please save your feedback for tomorrow, be sure you've visited Stella's blog, and thank her for sharing in the comments.


Emily White said...

Hello, Stella!! I love this query. I can't wait to see what Matt has to say. :)

Dianne K. Salerni said...

Hi, Stella! Nice to meet you!
Wow -- what a query! I love the first half, have some suggestions for the second half. But I'm supposed to hold them till tomorrow,so I'll shut up now. :D

farawayeyes said...

Hi Stella, WOW - certainly is different. Thanks for the opportunity to look into this further (or should that be farther) whichever.

Jay Noel said...

I love the premise. It's a neat take on parallel worlds/utopia. Hoping Mia kicks some major a$$!

I'll be interested, as always, to see what you come up with, Matthew.

Nancy Thompson said...

A totally unique story! I'm excited to see what Matthew has to say. I'll be back.

Christina Lee said...

Hi there! Wow, I think you're well on your way. Love this line: "That’s one mad left-hook."

Zan Marie said...

Stella, you got my attention with the first paragraph. Mad left hook indeed!

Michael Offutt, Tebow Cult Initiate said...

What does dueling point-of-view mean? I visited her blog and clicked follow! Can't wait to see your analysis.

The Golden Eagle said...

Just headed over and followed her blog. I can't wait to read tomorrow's post!

Stella Telleria said...

Dueling POV means there are two characters in which the POV goes back and forth between (first person). Is it unclear or is there a better way to state this?

Thank you everybody!!

Botanist said...

Yes, I've known Stella for a while now. *Waves*

Not sure what the protocol is here, but I have to say I love the first two paras. I think the next two got weighed down with too much detail, but it looks like Matt will be giving a detailed critique, so shutting up now :)

Traci Kenworth said...

I think this is a great blog to help others with writing queries. Thanks, Matt!!