Katherine Camp Interview

I can't believe this week is over. I've had a great time hosting Katherine and her query for DRAGONSAYER and my hope is that she's learned a lot. I know I have.

Now we're going to take a little time to get to know Katherine better. By way of author interview. If this happens to be your first day here this week be sure to visit Katherine's blog and become a follower.

Now, to the questions!

When did you first decide you wanted to be a writer?

I’ve always loved storytelling. I made up my first story when I was 6 about these people who lived on a prehistoric island with dinosaurs, and they had to hide in a network of caves and store up food for the winter when the T Rexes attacked. I started writing stuff down and telling people I wanted to be a writer at age 8.

How long have you been writing seriously?

I began writing with the intent to publish about 3 years ago. DRAGONSAYER is the 4th novel I finished, and the 2nd I queried.

What is your favorite thing about writing?

Being finished with the book… haha. Actually, I love creating worlds and characters and then seeing how other people breathe life into those things as they enjoy them. Someone cried once reading something I wrote, and that stunned me. It was amazing to move someone that deeply. That’s my favorite part.

What is the most difficult part?

Probably the writing itself. I am a champion procrastinator and I have a very, very short attention span, like a squirrel.

Did you ever play Dungeons and Dragons, the real pen and paper tabletop game?

My husband used to be a devoted D&D player in college, but I’ve never played. We haven’t been able to get a group together. I get to keep my geek card though b/c I have a WoW account. Also I play a lot of geeky board games like Settlers of Cataan.

What about computer or video games based on Dungeons and Dragons?

I played a lot of PC games as a kid, but I’m actually more of a sci fi person than a fantasy person. I played a lot of Star Wars PC/video games … I really like technology and the challenges it introduces.

Ooh I hope you played Knights of the Old Republic. Both iterations are two of my favorite all time games, on X-Box, PC or anything.

If you had to meet one of your characters in a dark alley who would you last want to meet, and why?

Anabis, one of the Seekers. They’re like evil Jedi/wizards plus mind control.

And which character would you want there with you for protection?

Kael, the leader of the Monarchist “task force.” He has enough magical ability to give him an edge in his reflexes, and he’s an excellent physical fighter. But he acts bookish and quiet, so people underestimate him initially and that gives him the advantage. Also he’s a good-looking dude.

Can you tell us a little more about DRAGONSAYER than what is revealed in your query? For example, a little about your characters, where the idea of them came from, what sparked your initial idea, and how you decided what genre it would be?

I first made up Kael and Briand when I was 17, and since then the story’s evolved a lot. There’s a bunch of characters… Kael is a member of the Monarchists. He’s made some mistakes and he’s sort of in trouble, so he’s been sent on this crazy mission to find this person who can control dragons.

Briand is this kid who Kael & Co knew while they were looking for the dragonsayer. Then she turns out to be the dragonsayer, much to everyone’s surprise/dismay. In my mind, the story is both about Briand finding her own strength/figuring herself out as well as being vindicated in the eyes of the group who doesn’t trust her or like her at first.

There’s a bunch of other characters—my favorite is Tagis, a snarky, insult-wielding fencing tutor/Monarchist rebel who HATES Briand but ends up having to teach her to fight.

Eventually when the Seekers ambush them, Briand has to make some choices about whether she’s going to save her own skin or help these people who used her. I really like stories about enemies who become friends, so that’s sort of what I’m going for with DRAGONSAYER.

Are you working on any other projects right now? If so, could you tell us a little about them? If not, have you got any ideas marinating?

After writing DRAGONSAYER I wrote three other books while I was query/waiting on replies, one of which is a DRAGONSAYER sequel called CROWNBRINGER. I tried to make DRAGONSAYER stand-alone since I have no guarantee I could sell 3 books even if I sold the 1st one, but ideally it would have sequels, so I plotted them out and stuff. I am currently working on a sci fi dystopian thriller and another fantasy that’s more of a secret spy/court intrigue involving shape shifters and assassins.

I tend to write very fast and then take much longer to edit and revise, that’s why I have all these MSS lying around. I’ve been told to work on other projects while I’m querying, so that’s what I’m trying to do. But querying is a long process.

Is there anything else you’d like to add?

THANK YOU everyone who offered comments and especially to everyone who said they liked my idea! It’s very encouraging to see interest. Sometimes I feel horribly depressed because the kind of things I want to write (steampunk, blended fantasy, crossovers) aren’t seen much in the market. I’m just writing the kind of books I want to read. Hopefully other people like them too.

Fun Random Questions for The End (I stole this interview idea from Jen at Unedited, though I made my own questions up). Which would you rather be?

Wizard or Warrior? Wizard. Magic is cool and I’m a total wimp when it comes to hacking people’s limbs off. Blood of any kind scares me, really.
Airship Captain or Dragon Rider? Dragon rider. I guess either way you get to fly, but hey, dragons are really cool and I imagine the whole process of dragon riding is a lot more autonomous than having command of a ship.
At the Lake or In the Woods? Woods.
Reading Harry Potter or Writing Twilight? Ahahaa … Harry Potter. I’m a pretty shy/reclusive person, and the idea of being Stephenie Meyer with all the negative attention and rabid fandom … that terrifies me.
Drinking a Fine Wine or Eating a Gourmet Cheese? Ooooo cheese. It’s my favorite food.

Fun! Katherine and I would both really like to thank Candace, who made this all possible with her amazing Joy to the World Contest. The contest is over but you can still get t-shirts!

I would also like to thank Katherine for being such a good sport. It's scary putting you artwork out there publicly for people to judge, especially if you're relatively new to blogging and all the judges are going to be complete strangers.

Any questions?

Katherine Camp's New Query

Katherine is going to share a re-written version of her query with us today, but first I have a couple of selfish announcements to make:

1) I'm going to be out of town this weekend and half of next week. I'm going to Minnesota to celebrate Kelly's Grandmother's 80th birthday. We're both huge Vikings fans so I'm a little upset that it will still be pre-season, but oh well. I really wish I could stay longer or that I wouldn't be so busy while I'm there because I have two writer blogger buds (you know who you are Falen and Palindrome) who I would really love to meet someday. There just won't be time this trip unfortunately.

2) I shared another of my flash fiction pieces with Bryan Russell (Ink) the other day and he liked it well enough that he is posting it on his blog today. Bryan is my writing mentor as well as being the moderator for the illustrious forums on Nathan Bransford's blog, so it is truly an honor to have my writing posted on his blog, The Alchemy of Writing. It never gets as much traffic as it deserves though, so please stop by, follow and comment. You can read my new piece: Babysat by the Man in the Moon, and for newer followers you should also please check out the older one: The Deafening Silence. If you have the time you can read all the short stories here. I suggest you do so.

3) Wow. Man, that's a lot of links.

4) Elana Johnson took the time to comment on my blog 7 times yesterday. That's how badly she wants to help other writers. Is there a more awesome being in the universe? No.

Now to Katherine's re-written query. Katherine has been very busy this week and she may not have time to come by to comment today, but she has been reading your comments and asked me to thank you all profusely on her behalf. She had plans last night and was unable to take part in the intensive rewrite session that I suggested, but she has changed her query to this current version based on our advice. This is not necessarily a final version as she has not had time to mull things over for very long as it stands.

So here it is:

Seventeen-year-old guttersnipe Briand Varryda can control dragons with her mind. She’s a dragon talker, an ancient role from a time before electricity, steamships, and airships. But Briand doesn’t exactly want this “gift,” because it brings her nothing but trouble. It’s the reason both the Tyrant Prince and his rival, the leader of the Monarchists, are hunting for her. It’s the reason a band of Monarchists kidnaps her. A war is coming, and the Monarchists know they cannot hope to defeat the Prince’s airships and technology without the help of old magic from the far north—dragons.

And for dragons, they need Briand.

She’s not even close to the blue-blood aristocrat the dragonsayer was supposed to be—not to mention she’s female. Her kidnappers don’t like her, and she doesn’t like them. She’d rather knife them all than help them. But the Monarchists weren’t exactly asking.

But when someone in their company betrays them during their journey to the find the dragons, Briand and the survivors must flee to a place called the Stronghold to avoid being captured by the Prince’s elite Seekers. With the Seekers gaining on the group, and a traitor in their midst, Briand has to learn how to handle her gift and call up a dragon before they’re all killed.

DRAGONSAYER is 70,000 word YA fantasy novel. It contains elements of historical fantasy as well as elements of steampunk, blending dragons, castles, and swords with guns, clocks, and airships.

Thank you so much for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

Katherine Camp

This is so much better. You're so close with this Katherine. I don't think it's quite done, and I especially think you need a slightly more colorful hook, and a shorter first paragraph, but this is already a good improvement. Since you were getting some requests with your original query I'm guessing that this one is going to start working even better right away. As I've mentioned before I think the strength of your premise can almost sell itself.

What do you guys think? Better right? Is there anything that still glaringly needs to be changed? I don't think so. I think there are only subtle updates left at this point.

Please keep the comments here about Katherine's query. I really really really want you to read my flash fiction and comment and let me know what you think, but please do that at Bryan's blog. I promise I will be stalking it and reading every one of your thoughts.

Thank you so much everyone for all your help yesterday. That was an amazing example of what this community is all about.

Don't forget to come back tomorrow for Katherine's interview.

Katherine Camp Query Critique

If you don't know what's going on this week or you simply don't remember please see yesterday's post here. Otherwise here is the email I sent Katherine regarding her query:

I have to start by saying that I think your premise is awesome. I’m a real sucker for Fantasy and I wish I had the stones to write it. This is great because you have the most important part covered. If your idea sucks it doesn’t really matter how good your query, or even your pages, are. No one will care. You don’t have to worry about THAT.

This query could use SOME work, but you’re off to a really good start.

The other thing is that by writing Fantasy, even if not traditional High or Epic Fantasy, you’re making it a teeny bit harder on yourself. I’m not saying don’t do it, but make sure you research your agents because not only is the market already saturated when it comes to Fantasy, but Fantasy is a bit of a niche market to begin with.

I’m not an agent so don’t take my opinion for scripture but that is what I’m told (and why I’m too wimpy to write Fantasy, even if it is my favorite genre to read).

THE QUERY...

Of course first I have the "Dear (Agent's name)" and then I usually have a paragraph or two where I explain why I chose to query them, whether it is their blog or just their stated preferences on their website or a connection on Twitter. I left that out. The meat of the query is below:

That’s perfectly fine; it’s the meat that matters anyway. I will point out that there is a running debate about this. Personally I prefer to put housekeeping at the bottom. Janet Reid of Query Shark points out that you only have a few words to catch an agent’s interest. Make sure that those words are YOUR STORY, not something else. Personalization is important, and respectful, but it can come after the meat.

That being said, this is only my OPINION. If you like the business first it certainly can work. Even better than simply following my advice, see if you can find out which agents like it which way, then cater to their preferences.

Briand Varryda’s life is pretty grim. Her uncle hates her and wants to banish her from his household, the villagers won’t look her in the eye because she dresses like a boy and explores woods full of wolves and bloodthirsty unicorns, and the guards constantly try to beat her up because she beats them at their gambling games.

I think you need to separate this paragraph. You should try to have a pitch/hook that is one sentence. You can get away with two or three if the idea is complex (like my own query) but make sure to keep your first paragraph short. This is THE MOST IMPORTANT part of the query. If the agent likes your hook they will be biased toward liking the rest as well. If they don’t like the hook they may not even read on.

I would suggest this hook instead:

(Age or occupation) Briand Varryda leads a grim life fearing banishment from her uncle’s home. She is a courageous, resourceful tomboy but she endures the scorn of the villagers for braving the forest full of unknown magical creatures, and must constantly duck the fury of the guards after taking their gold in games of chance that have always felt like second nature to her.

This isn’t perfect either, and still too long, but you get the idea. I actually really like the idea of bloodthirsty evil unicorns, so you may have to work that back in, but think about this part hard, because it is huge.

Nobody thinks she’s worth anything at all except as a butt for jokes and a punching bag for fists. She’s pretty good with a knife and she can play cards like a man, but she doesn’t know how to make her uncle stop hating her or fix her screwed-up life long enough to avoid banishment to a backbreaking apprenticeship.

I would either cut this paragraph or incorporate it into the first. This doesn’t tell us anything new. It does go into a little more detail about who she is and why we should care, but you don’t have enough space/time to do this in this way. I get the sense she’s a bit of a rogue, but clever, which is awesome … it makes for a very compelling and sympathetic character, and that’s important, but conveying why we should care, pretty much needs to be one of, if not THE, first thing in a query.

Oh, and she can control dragons with her mind. She’s a dragon-sayer, an ancient power from an ancient time. A time before electricity, steamships, and airships.

This is actually really cool. It set’s up what kind of choices she’ll have the ability to make, and makes her even cooler, but this is out of place. I’m guessing she doesn’t know this in the beginning? I think you either need to reveal this sooner, or later, or you have to incorporate it when you introduce the conflict. Speaking of conflict you should have introduced it all ready. I have a rule about queries that may not be widely known but it works for me. Always make sure your query includes the 3 Cs, in this order: Character, Conflict, and Choice. Who is the character, and why should we care/like/connect with her? What is the Conflict she must endure? And what kind of Choice will she have to make to overcome it?

You can almost lay those three ideas out in three separate paragraphs and then be good. Of course it’s not QUITE that simple, but it’s important to keep in mind.

But Briand doesn’t exactly want this “gift.” It’s the reason both the tyrant Prince Cahan and his rival, Prince Jehn of the Monarchists, are looking for her. It’s the reason the Monarchists kidnap her. A war is coming, and the Monarchists know they cannot hope to defeat Prince Cahan’s airships without the help of the old magic from the far north—dragons.

Okay, well this is really cool, and I am now officially interested in your book, but this is too much. This is synopsis (sort of) stuff in my opinion. First of all this gets a bit confusing with the two princes and their forces.

Another rule I have which can’t work for everyone but does for me is don’t name anyone in the query but the MC. It gets too confusing. Introduce some other peeps, sure, and set up who they are and why they’ll matter, especially if they’re the antagonists, but make sure to keep it simple.

I should clarify. This is your main conflict, which is key, but try to simplify. Example:

Briand soon discovers her gift is more of a curse. The Monarchists of the north intend to overthrow the tyrant Prince’s airships with the help of a dragon army. Of course they can’t even begin to put this plan into action without a Dragon-Seer. Enter Briand, stage left.

The names of the two princes don't really matter in the query. It just makes it get confusing.

And for dragons, they need Briand.

I do kind of like how setting this apart makes it stand out, but you're already almost out of room, so you may just want to incorporate this.

But she’s no chosen one. Briand’s only a dragon-sayer by accident, and she’s just a ragged guttersnipe—not to mention the fact that she’s female. She’s not even close to the lordly young man the dragon-sayer was supposed to be. The Monarchists don’t like Briand, and Briand doesn’t like them. She’d rather knife them all in the back than help them. But the Monarchists weren’t exactly asking.

You can probably cut this whole paragraph. Not that it's poorly written or anything, it's pretty good, but most of it is repeated ideas that have already been laid out. The one new idea about Briand and the Monarchists being at odds might be good to include somewhere but you need to tighten all this up.

The Monarchists haul her to a fortress in the far north for safekeeping, and despite her best efforts, Briand finds herself befriending some of the members of the company. She even finds herself falling for the leader of the group, Kael. But she still doesn’t want to die for their cause, however noble it might be.

Now you're definitely getting into synopsis territory. This is too much and too long for a query. I mean this actually sounds like an awesome plot twist, and you can hint at the romance if you like in the query but you need to do it much more concisely.

When someone in their company betrays them to the enemy, and the monarchist refuge is burned, Briand and the rest must flee north to a place called the Stronghold to avoid being captured by the magical watchdogs of the prince, the Seekers, who slaughter whole villages and suck the thoughts from their victims’ minds. With the Seekers gaining on the group slowly, and a traitor in their midst, Briand has to learn how to handle her gift and call up a dragon before they’re all killed.

This is a decent summary of the final conflict, without giving away the ending, but you've already used too many words and paragraphs. Try to slim this all down to three main paragraphs that each covers one of those three main concepts: Main Character, Main Conflict, and Main Choice.

Although the Dragonsayer has both magic and dragons, I wouldn't think of it as a typical "S and S" fantasy or high fantasy. The story contains elements of historical fantasy as well as elements steampunk, blending dragons, castles, and swords with guns, clocks, and airships.

First of all I want to say that this genre bending concept is really freaking awesome. I would LOVE to read a book like this. However, I have no idea what S and S Fantsay means. Sword and Spell? I Googled it and got nothing. Still though, Steampunk crossed with Dragons and Bloodthirsty Unicorns? Epic win.

I have been writing seriously for two years now. I am not yet published.

You don't need this. Not mentioning any credits is fine if you have none.

Thank you so much for your time and consideration.

Good.

Sincerely,

Katherine Camp

So, first of all in our correspondence Katherine pointed out to me that S and S means Sword and Sorcery, which I can't believe I couldn't figure out, but which totally makes sense.

Now, what I would like all of you to do is give her some more feedback, if you don't mind. Feel free to disagree with anything advice I gave her, as we all know that all of this is highly subjective and we accomplish the most by telling the absolute truth.

I think one of the main things that Katherine needs, after cutting for length and tightening up all these awesome plot points into 3 or 4 good, concise paragraphs, is a new hook/pitch. A new opening line that really pops. I'll share the first thing that popped into my head this morning, though I'll admit it's not amazing:

The Monarchists will need Dragons to defeat the Tyrant and his Airships, and for Dragons they'll need Briand.

What do you think? I bet most of you can come up with a better hook than that? Please share yours in the comments if anything comes to mind. Or any other feedback/questions/comments you may have for Katherine. This is all for nothing without some good back and forth discourse.

Katherine Camp

Today I would like to introduce Katherine Camp to you all. Before we go on you know my rule. Writing blogs are a community and a community only works if we all get to know each other. So please go visit her blog and become a follower. If you want to make everyone feel especially warm and fuzzy leave a comment explaining that you are following her because you met her on The QQQE.

Now, moving on, Katherine was the winner of my query critique and blog feature prize that Candace and I decided would be an appropriate gift for me to offer in her Joy to the World Contest. So I've already critiqued her query, and she and I have decided to make an (almost) week long blog feature out of it.

Today is really just for introductions. I'm going to share her original query here today, but I would like all of you to refrain from offering feedback until I have shared my critique of her query, which will go up tomorrow. Katherine is open to hearing others thoughts but I don't want any of you spoiling my amazing insights. I'm kidding mostly, but I would like you to wait until tomorrow to critique. That way we can all be prepared. Feel free to comment, of course, always feel free to comment.

So here is Katherine's query:

Of course first I have the "Dear (Agent's name)" and then I usually have a paragraph or two where I explain why I chose to query them, whether it is their blog or just their stated preferences on their website or a connection on Twitter. I left that out. The meat of the query is below:

Briand Varryda’s life is pretty grim. Her uncle hates her and wants to banish her from his household, the villagers won’t look her in the eye because she dresses like a boy and explores woods full of wolves and bloodthirsty unicorns, and the guards constantly try to beat her up because she beats them at their gambling games. Nobody thinks she’s worth anything at all except as a butt for jokes and a punching bag for fists. She’s pretty good with a knife and she can play cards like a man, but she doesn’t know how to make her uncle stop hating her or fix her screwed-up life long enough to avoid banishment to a backbreaking apprenticeship.

Oh, and she can control dragons with her mind. She’s a dragon-sayer, an ancient power from an ancient time. A time before electricity, steamships, and airships.

But Briand doesn’t exactly want this “gift.” It’s the reason both the tyrant Prince Cahan and his rival, Prince Jehn of the Monarchists, are looking for her. It’s the reason the Monarchists kidnap her. A war is coming, and the Monarchists know they cannot hope to defeat Prince Cahan’s airships without the help of the old magic from the far north—dragons.

And for dragons, they need Briand.

But she’s no chosen one. Briand’s only a dragon-sayer by accident, and she’s just a ragged guttersnipe—not to mention the fact that she’s female. She’s not even close to the lordly young man the dragon-sayer was supposed to be. The Monarchists don’t like Briand, and Briand doesn’t like them. She’d rather knife them all in the back than help them. But the Monarchists weren’t exactly asking.

The Monarchists haul her to a fortress in the far north for safekeeping, and despite her best efforts, Briand finds herself befriending some of the members of the company. She even finds herself falling for the leader of the group, Kael. But she still doesn’t want to die for their cause, however noble it might be.

When someone in their company betrays them to the enemy, and the monarchist refuge is burned, Briand and the rest must flee north to a place called the Stronghold to avoid being captured by the magical watchdogs of the prince, the Seekers, who slaughter whole villages and suck the thoughts from their victims’ minds. With the Seekers gaining on the group slowly, and a traitor in their midst, Briand has to learn how to handle her gift and call up a dragon before they’re all killed.

Although the Dragonsayer has both magic and dragons, I wouldn't think of it as a typical "S and S" fantasy or high fantasy. The story contains elements of historical fantasy as well as elements steampunk, blending dragons, castles, and swords with guns, clocks, and airships.

I have been writing seriously for two years now. I am not yet published.

Thank you so much for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

Katherine Camp

Now, Katherine knows her query needs some work, that's why she selected my prize, but I would just like to say: is this not one of the most awesome sounding premises for a story you've heard in a while? Assuming you're into Fantasy and/or Steampunk? I know I really want to read this book.

So this week we're all going to try to help Katherine fix her query so that she can get this story going. Remember: please hold your query specific feedback until tomorrow. For now feel free to discuss her genre, or just say hello, or whatever.

P.S. Sorry this is going up so late but I had a softball game last night, and wounded my knee a little so I stayed in bed this morning feeling sorry for myself until 9AM. *GASP*.