Oh How I Miss You Blogfest!

How I Miss You Blogfest!

It’s that time of year again! Hosted by Andrew Leon, Alex J. Cavanaugh, and Me.

The bloggers you miss and the ones you would miss.
List one to three bloggers you really miss.
List one to three bloggers you would really miss if they stopped blogging.
And then go let them know!

So ... without further ado, here are three of the bloggers I would (and kind of do, considering I rarely blog anymore) miss..

Justine Dell

Justine was pretty much my very first follower and blogging buddy. Okay, maybe not very first, but she showed up really early on, and she was nice, and she was steady. She was always around, always supportive, and really knew how to handle the blogging thing.

I learned a lot from her, and I think she was even the first blogger to ever host me as a guest, too.

Jessica Bell

Jess was probably my second close friend I made early on through blogging. We're still tight. We exchange pages all the time, and we've met in real life, and she is the sweetest because she sends me all her books (which I love--the stories, not the free shipping), all the way from Greece!

Katie AKA Creepy Query Girl

I met Katie, the CQG, a little later than Justine and Jessica, but we've been friends ever since. We've had very similar journeys in our path to seeking publication, and I think it has really provided some comforting solidarity for both of us.

Why do I miss them?

Well, Jessica actually still blogs like a pro, even though I don't really visit her as much as I'd like to. Katie and Justine are both on hiatus, I believe, but to be honest, I haven't been to either of their blogs in a while. The thing is, blogging has been really tough for me lately. I pretty much miss everyone! That's because I have barely been blogging myself, and certainly not visiting and reading the blogs of all my friends.

The problem is that the day job has gotten so crazy, that I barely have time to raise my family and write. Unfortunately, blogging simply has to take a back seat when the option is blogging or writing books.

Anyway, make sure you visit everyone else! It's not an enormous blogfest or anything.

Oh How I Miss You Blogfest!

It's here! The brainchild of Andrew Leon, like any blogfest, it's not going far without the power (and the linky list account) of Alex J. Cavanaugh, Ninja Captain of the good ship Blogosphere. The third co-host, Matthew MacNish, was brought in for his good looks and great taste. Wait. That sounded wrong.

Anyway ...

The bloggers we really miss…

and the ones we would really miss!

Do you have a couple blogger buddies who aren’t posting as often? Those who’ve pulled back and seem absent from the blogging world? Do you have blogger buddies you are grateful they are still around and would miss if they vanished? Now is your chance to show your appreciation and spotlight them!

List one to three bloggers you really miss and one to three bloggers you would miss if they stopped blogging. Then go leave a comment on those blogs.

Our blogger friends are special – time to let them know! 

The bloggers I miss:

Candace Ganger, AKA Candyland Gang, AKA Bethany, AKA The Jaded Wonder. Candace is one of my dearest friends, which is awesome, considering we've never met. She does still blog occasionally, but when I first started out, she was blogging every day, and every single post was a gut-splitting wealth of inspiration, tears, laughter and awkward hugs. I miss your posts almost as much as I miss you, Beth.

Kaye Em Evans. I still keep up with Kaye on Facebook, so it's all good, but I do miss her blog posts. She was another of the first blogs I ever started reading, and her posts were always fun and insightful.

The World in Miniature. This one is kind of cheating, because Bryan actually still blogs, and his cartoons are hilarious, but I really miss the flash fiction feature he used to do, and while I know his career has taken off in the last couple years, and he probably has very little time for blogging, I would love to see more flash fiction on his blog again. I guess I better write some.

The bloggers I would miss:

Katie Mills AKA Creepy Query Girl. Katie is one of my favorite bloggers. I feel like we've been through the trenches together. We both started out around the same time, and became friends quickly, but then we've both been through our share of rejections. Katie is a fighter though, and a talented writer, so as long as she doesn't give up, I know I never will.

Adam Heine. Adam is the Mastermind of Nerd-dom. I know of no better chart-maker, and sometimes it seems like Adam and I may have been separated at birth. I mean how could someone I've never met, who lives on the opposite side of the world, love exactly all the same things I love, and with the same passion? It doesn't seem possible.

Susan Quinn. Susan is the smartest lady I know. Literally. She's a rocket scientist, and she's the most successful self-publishing entrepreneur I know. Her posts on publishing, and craft, are particularly well thought out, researched, and presented. I don't know what I'd do without Susan.

Don't forget to visit everyone involved:

Origins Blogfest

Welcome to the Origins Blogfest! This is the fest where we all share the beginnings of how we became a writer. The idea comes from DL Hammons, who along with Katie, and Alex, are my co-hosts for the blogfest. For the list of all participants, just click on that first link.

So let's get to it.

I shared a bit about how I fell in love with reading on Friday at Project Mayhem. I think it's a natural progression to go from falling in love with books and reading to falling in love with writing. That's certainly how it worked for me. So after falling in love with Tolkien, and collecting everything I could that had anything to do with Middle Earth, it was easy for me to get hooked on Dungeons & Dragons.

My best friend in grade school was Irish Catholic, so he had seven older brothers, and one younger. They all played D&D together, so whenever I went over to their house, it was wizards and warriors and epic adventures. I think that's what first made me fall in love with writing. Not only was it making things up, and using your imagination, but there was such language! Gary Gygax may not have ever been a novelist, but he sure knew how to describe a monster, and he made up some very cool spells.

From there I progressed to reading all the fantasy I could get my hands on. A lot of it was tie-ins like Dragonlance and Forgotten Realms, but I also enjoyed original stuff like Pern, and Shannara, and so on. I think I tried to write my first novel when I was about 12. In sixth grade. It was on Wordperfect, on a monochrome screen, and I only made it a few chapters in.

Then my reading matured, and I got into spy thrillers by the likes of Le Carre, Ludlum, and Forysth. I started writing short stories, and even won some kind of contest for a short story I wrote that I can't even remember. From there I got into poetry, and trying to write song lyrics. All through high school I loved to write, and wrote all kinds of different things.

Then things changed, and life got in the way, and I didn't write a thing for over a decade. It wasn't until a few years ago that I decided to write a novel, but that's probably a story for another time.

DL Hammons' Current Query

Before we get to Don's query, I want to announce that along with him, Katie, and Alex, I'll be hosting the Origins blogfest on February 13th. I would put the sign up list at the bottom of this post, but I don't have the code, and you really should just go read Don's announcement post, because he does a great job explaining what it's all about. You can also sign up there, which I encourage you to do, because blogfests are the best way to meet other bloggers and build a following.

EDIT: I do have the code, I'm just a moron, and lost the email. But I found it now, so you are able to sign up below, if you like.

Okay, so let's get to Don's query letter, but first, you know the rules, you have to follow Don's blog, and then you can come back and read his query.

Back? Great, here goes:

Mr. or Ms. Agent
The Most Awesome Literary Agency Ever,

Lee Hamilton is a small town HR Manager whose pedestrian life is only buoyed by his long-standing friendship with five old college buddies, the Knights. That all changes when he receives a phone call informing him that Steven Ebe, one of the Knights, has been found beaten and left in a coma. The group’s old motto comes rushing back -- you mess with one Knight, you mess with them all! Ebe is a reformed hacker who recently went to work for a private detective agency in South Carolina. Dianne Williams, the manager of the detective agency, surprises Lee with additional info explaining how her entire workforce has been sickened by some form of poison. Rallying around their fallen companion, the Knights join forces with Dianne and discover a series of numbers found in Ebe’s possession tied to a large scale cybercrime. The mystery deepens when the numbers are also linked to a Columbine-style high school shooting in Virginia?

Dianne and Lee decide to fly to Virginia where they encounter a city still reeling from the emotional impact of the shooting and distrustful of outsiders who won’t allow them to forget. Following leads withheld from the police and FBI, they quickly learn everything is not as it’s been reported in the news. The mysterious numbers are connected to even more crimes, the school shooter was not working alone, and he left behind a suicide note that simply read…I’m not finished yet! Lee and Dianne had somehow stumbled across the wizard behind the curtain, and the Knights weren’t in Kansas anymore. Now the group had a choice to make, return home and pass up a chance to clear their friend’s name, or put their very lives in danger by going toe to toe with an unimaginable fiend.

FALLEN KNIGHT is a mystery/thriller novel complete at 105,000 words. By day I am the writer of technical journals and instruction manuals, but when the sun goes down I'm an active member of the writing community. I am also a proud member of Mystery Writers of America and International Thriller Writers. Fallen Knight is poised to be part of a larger series and I feel a perfect companion to your agencies other offerings.

Thank you for your time and consideration, and I look forward to hearing from you.

DL Hammons
Dlh.hammons@gmail.com
http://dlcruisingaltitude.blogspot.com/

That's it!

Remember, today is just for introductions (although if you don't know DL, you probably haven't been blogging long), so please save your feedback for tomorrow, when I'll be sharing my thoughts. For now just say hi, and thank him for having the courage to share this with us.

Katie Mills Interview

Welcome back readers! Thanks so much for all your help with Katie's query. Now we're going to get to know her a little better, but don't worry, she's still working on the query and will let us know when she has a new version to share.

So here is an interview Katie so kindly agreed to give me, even while I am stuck here at work on an overnight shift, monitoring the new hires. Hey, at least it gives me a chance to write and blog, even if the sleep deprivation is starting to make me hallucinate a little.

*was that a hummingbird?*

Sorry. Enough about me. Here's the interview, thanks Katie:

When did you first decide you wanted to be a writer?

It was kind of a natural progression for me. My first love is reading but during various periods in my life - the kind of books I wanted to read weren’t available (either because I read everything in my bookstore/library or, like in the last few years, I’m living in a foreign country where it’s slim pickins for books in English). When I don’t have something to read - I write. In 2009 I finished my first book and just thought ‘If I could do this and earn money, I’d be one of those lucky few who actually love their job’.

How long have you been writing seriously?

Since June 2008. That’s the date I started my first finished manuscript.

What is your favorite thing about writing?

Writing the first draft. I write an outline but when characters start becoming real and situations pop out of nowhere - it feels so magical to me.

What is the most difficult part?

I think all my followers know - revision and editing are my weaknesses. No magic there.

Did you ever play Dungeons and Dragons, the real pen and paper tabletop game?

Um... *looks around self concisously* No?

*did you just answer a question with a question?* Nice.

What about computer or video games based on Dungeons and Dragons?

I refused to be anyone but the Princess in Super Mario Brothers 2. (She could fly!) This might say something about my inner workings …

If you answered no to those previous two what first made you think of writing Fantasy? A book? A film? If you answered yes to either, did they play a part in your decision to write fantasy?

Well, when you think about it - pretty much all fiction is fantasy in some sense, even if you aren’t inventing new worlds. This is my first attempt at a label ‘Fantasy’ book and I have to admit I had a blast just letting my imagination run free - I get to make the rules about how things work and where things are. I don’t know any other activity that can give creativity and my manic control freak side a common goal.

If you had to meet one of your characters in a dark alley who would you last want to meet, and why?

Oooh, good question. I’d have to say ‘Mr. Harold’. He’s a malevolent spirit in my first book who likes to take on the image of a decaying corpse with red eyes. Yum.

And which character would you want there with you for protection?

Probably the MC – Gretchen from that same book. She’s got some warrior spirit guides that would kick Mr. Harold’s ass.

Can you tell us a little more about FOSSEGRIM than what is revealed in your query? For example, a little about your characters, where the idea of them came from, what sparked your initial idea, and how you decided what genre it would be?

Well, I’m one of those people that subconsciously keeps info at the back of my brain. While searching for agents, there were so many who said they want something from a male point of view. And while I didn’t write this ‘for’ the market -- when the idea for a delinquent teenage boy who turns into a stereotypically ‘feminine’ mythological creature came to me, I decided ‘why not just go with it and see where it takes me?’

I’m glad I did. Sage was a blast to write - he’s really jaded and has such a hilarious take on turning into a mermaid. But the book also let me write a lot of action/fighting sequences that I’ve never written before. Fossegrim have some serious enemies - Namely the Fiskari; an organization of Norse fisherman who capture and torture Fossegrim into controlling the weather and migrations in their favor.

Are you working on any other projects right now? If so, could you tell us a little about them? If not, have you got any ideas marinating?

I’ve had this idea in mind for a while that I might start working on; about two rival circus families. One is destroyed in a fire in the 1800’s only to have its members reincarnated and reincorporated over time. A young girl discovers an uncanny talent for the trapeze and is caught up in this ancient war between the two families.

That sounds strangely awesome.

Is there anything else you’d like to add?

Just that, after reading the above - I sometimes feel like a crazy person sharing my delusions. Where do we get this stuff?

Tar-jay? *asked with a cheesy French accent* Man I'm tired.

Fun Random Questions for The End (I stole this interview idea from Jen at Unedited, though I made my own questions up). Which would you rather be?

A Mermaid or a Faerie? Ugh … Faerie. Again … they can fly?
In Monaco playing craps or in Nice drinking wine? Nice drinking wine. :)
Sailing or skiing? Skiing (If I were good at it, which I’m not).
A rich and famous author or a poor but critically acclaimed one? Does that exist? I know I’m supposed to say poor but I’d rather be rich and famous …
Watching True Blood or reading Twilight? TRUE BLOOD!!
Yes ... TB FTW!
Visiting New Zealand or Japan? Japan. I love sushi.
Ooh. Me too. I wrote an awesome Sushi post here.

Thanks so much Katie! That was lots of fun. I'm glad it's already after lunch in France and you could share this with me tonight (or last night now). It made the hours zoom right by ... with little squiggly lights.

Katie Mills FOSSEGRIM Query Critique

Today I just want to get right into it. You all remember what's up right? Here is Katie's query with my thoughts.

Dear (specified agent)

I've talked about this before but I do think you make the right choice here, getting right to the story. Unless an agent specifically states that they want to see the housekeeping or the personalization first, just get down to business, STAT.

Seventeen year old Sage Reynolds realized long ago that wishing for a different life is a pretty fruitless venture. This starts out pretty well, but then fizzes out. Cool age, awesome name ... both tell us a lot because we already know what main genre this is going to be (YA) and that the character will probably stand out, but I would like to see more in this first sentence. This sentence is more important than almost any other one. What kind of guy is Sage before he gets the tail? Jock? Band Geek? Bad boy? And why is he wishing for a different life? The way it is written now is too vague. But that doesn’t stop him from wishing anyway, one summer’s eve, on the beaches of Misquamicut, Rhode Island. You've got to clear this up for yesterday's readers. I told people that I thought you told me once that you were from Connecticut before you moved to France, but I can't remember for sure if that is even true. It might have been momentary insanity, or the fact that his foster parents were finally sending him away. In any case, Sage thought the threat of military school was the worst of his problems.

I see that you do touch on the reasons for his wishing here in this paragraph, and I should clarify that it doesn't HAVE to be in the first sentence that this is explained, but if you can find a way to convey it very briefly it will make that hook really pop! Also, this is a good start here with these last two concepts, the foster parents, the threat of military school, but the way they are written here makes it feel like they're just being thrown out there for good measure. Let's see if our reader's can help you convey all the ideas from this first paragraph into once succinct pitch/hook that knocks the reader on their ass and shoves the need to read your pages down their throat.

But that was before he woke up on the bottom of the ocean with a freaking fish tail.

This rocks harder than an ancient barnacle. You don't really need the "but" but it works either way. This is excellent voice, and when this query earns requests it is probably going to be because of this line.

In this 70,000 word YA fantasy, Sage deals with the realities of being ‘Fossegrim’- I had to look this up. Apparently you did not make this creature up. I love the sound of it, for some reason it reminds me of Jotun and Norse mythology. including the discovery of a whole other race living off an enchanted island in the North Sea. The problem though is that this feels like too much telling. Telling is not altogether taboo in queries, but it can get you into trouble. For example right here I'm wondering whether the other race is the same thing as the Fossegrim, and are the Fossgrim essentially just mermen or not? Truth is, Sage never asked to sprout a man-tail hilarious and shoot through the waves like a Disney character on roids. Awesome. He’d do anything to get his old imperfect life back. His one chance at becoming human again lies with a Fossegrim who threw the changing stone down on human land seventy years ago so that she could stay with the man she loved. If Sage can find her and convince her to go back to the ocean, he can reclaim his humanity. Here are the beginnings of a great conflict and choice setup, but this is too confusing and too vague. First of all you need to clarify that Fossgrim are all the same kind of creatures, and that that is the name of the race, not of a character, because right now it's not completely clear. Second this part about the female one throwing down the stone and it somehow being the key to Sage becoming human again sounds awesome, after you re-read it a couple of times to make sure you understand it. You should try to re-word this so that it both sounds more exciting (high stakes) and makes more sense. Readers, can you help with some suggestions?

But his homecoming proves dangerous. Being Fossegrim has made him an enemy to those he was once closest to and, to top it all off, he returns home to find a warrant out for his arrest. Despite Sage’s desire to be human again, his choice between regaining the life he’s lost or protecting the world he’s found won’t be as easy as he once thought. I'm not sure you need this. The main problem as I see it in your query is the lack of specificty. I do like the warrant and how that raises the stakes but it kind of comes out of left field. That doesn't have to be entirely a bad thing but right now I'm left wondering what the plot is, and which part is the main conflict. And who are these enemies?


I began writing my own books and stories at age fifteen and FOSSEGRIM is my third completed manuscript. I also write articles about publishing, the craft of writing, and the querying process which are featured on my blog: http://creepyquerygirl.blogspot.com/. I am twenty eight years old; a married mother of three, and have been residing in France for the last six years. This is debatable. Really the only thing that actually matters is your story, but certain agents may like this kind of thing. Others will hate it though, so be sure to research what kind of mini-bio agents are looking for.

Listing the blog is good, but you should try to make it display properly. The HTML code for displaying a link without showing the whole URL is like this: [a href="http://creepyquerygirl.blogspot.com"]Creepy Query Girl[/a]. Just replace the [ and ] with a <> (I had to write it that way to get it to display). The problem here is that different email carriers will format things differently, so you may just want to use the plain text URL.

Thank you very much for your time. If you feel that this project holds promise, I will send the added material accordingly.

Sincerely,

CQG.

So that's it. Please try to help us out here. Any feedback at all is much appreciated but I would especially love if anyone can help suggest a better and more concise hook for Katie, as well as a re-write about the changing stone main conflict bit. Ideas?

Katie Mills FOSSEGRIM Query

Today, tomorrow and Thursday we're going to be focusing on Creepy Query Girl AKA Katie Mill's query for her current WIP FOSSEGRIM. Katie is one of my best and oldest (in how long I've known her, not her age) blogging buds and she is one of the sweetest people you could ever meet, so be nice!

Kidding, of course you'll be nice, but also make sure to visit her blog and become a follower if you aren't already.

We're going to work this almost like we did for Katherine Camp and Emily White, except I already have Christina Lee's successful query guest post lined up for Friday so Katie will only be involved three days this week.

Today is just going to be her query as it currently stands. She knows it needs a little work, that's why she's here and why she asked me to take a look at it, but as before, please refrain from giving feedback until tomorrow. I don't want any of you taking all my glory before I've had my say and given her the most incredible feedback she has ever even dreamed of.

I'm kidding, of course ... again, but seriously, please save your feedback/critique of this query until tomorrow. Until then, the query:

Dear (specified agent)

Seventeen year old Sage Reynolds realized long ago that wishing for a different life is a pretty fruitless venture. But that doesn’t stop him from wishing anyway, one summer’s eve, on the beaches of Misquamicut, Rhode Island. It might have been momentary insanity, or the fact that his foster parents were finally sending him away. In any case, Sage thought the threat of military school was the worst of his problems.

But that was before he woke up on the bottom of the ocean with a freaking fish tail.

In this 70,000 word YA fantasy, Sage deals with the realities of being ‘Fossegrim’- including the discovery of a whole other race living off an enchanted island in the North Sea. Truth is, Sage never asked to sprout a man-tail and shoot through the waves like a Disney character on roids. He’d do anything to get his old imperfect life back. His one chance at becoming human again lies with a Fossegrim who threw the changing stone down on human land seventy years ago so that she could stay with the man she loved. If Sage can find her and convince her to go back to the ocean, he can reclaim his humanity.

But his homecoming proves dangerous. Being Fossegrim has made him an enemy to those he was once closest to and, to top it all off, he returns home to find a warrant out for his arrest. Despite Sage’s desire to be human again, his choice between regaining the life he’s lost or protecting the world he’s found won’t be as easy as he once thought.

I began writing my own books and stories at age fifteen and FOSSEGRIM is my third completed manuscript. I also write articles about publishing, the craft of writing, and the querying process which are featured on my blog: http://creepyquerygirl.blogspot.com/. I am twenty eight years old; a married mother of three, and have been residing in France for the last six years.

Thank you very much for your time. If you feel that this project holds promise, I will send the added material accordingly.

Sincerely,

CQG.

So that's it for today. Don't forget to hit up Katie's blog and throw your face down into her follower widget thingy, or whatever avatar you have, and feel free to say hello for now!

Questions and comments are also fine, just save your feedback for tomorrow, please.