Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Katie Mills FOSSEGRIM Query

Today, tomorrow and Thursday we're going to be focusing on Creepy Query Girl AKA Katie Mill's query for her current WIP FOSSEGRIM. Katie is one of my best and oldest (in how long I've known her, not her age) blogging buds and she is one of the sweetest people you could ever meet, so be nice!

Kidding, of course you'll be nice, but also make sure to visit her blog and become a follower if you aren't already.

We're going to work this almost like we did for Katherine Camp and Emily White, except I already have Christina Lee's successful query guest post lined up for Friday so Katie will only be involved three days this week.

Today is just going to be her query as it currently stands. She knows it needs a little work, that's why she's here and why she asked me to take a look at it, but as before, please refrain from giving feedback until tomorrow. I don't want any of you taking all my glory before I've had my say and given her the most incredible feedback she has ever even dreamed of.

I'm kidding, of course ... again, but seriously, please save your feedback/critique of this query until tomorrow. Until then, the query:


Dear (specified agent)

Seventeen year old Sage Reynolds realized long ago that wishing for a different life is a pretty fruitless venture. But that doesn’t stop him from wishing anyway, one summer’s eve, on the beaches of Misquamicut, Rhode Island. It might have been momentary insanity, or the fact that his foster parents were finally sending him away. In any case, Sage thought the threat of military school was the worst of his problems.

But that was before he woke up on the bottom of the ocean with a freaking fish tail.

In this 70,000 word YA fantasy, Sage deals with the realities of being ‘Fossegrim’- including the discovery of a whole other race living off an enchanted island in the North Sea. Truth is, Sage never asked to sprout a man-tail and shoot through the waves like a Disney character on roids. He’d do anything to get his old imperfect life back. His one chance at becoming human again lies with a Fossegrim who threw the changing stone down on human land seventy years ago so that she could stay with the man she loved. If Sage can find her and convince her to go back to the ocean, he can reclaim his humanity.

But his homecoming proves dangerous. Being Fossegrim has made him an enemy to those he was once closest to and, to top it all off, he returns home to find a warrant out for his arrest. Despite Sage’s desire to be human again, his choice between regaining the life he’s lost or protecting the world he’s found won’t be as easy as he once thought.

I began writing my own books and stories at age fifteen and FOSSEGRIM is my third completed manuscript. I also write articles about publishing, the craft of writing, and the querying process which are featured on my blog: http://creepyquerygirl.blogspot.com/. I am twenty eight years old; a married mother of three, and have been residing in France for the last six years.

Thank you very much for your time. If you feel that this project holds promise, I will send the added material accordingly.

Sincerely,

CQG.

So that's it for today. Don't forget to hit up Katie's blog and throw your face down into her follower widget thingy, or whatever avatar you have, and feel free to say hello for now!

Questions and comments are also fine, just save your feedback for tomorrow, please.

24 comments:

Vicki Rocho said...

*rubbing hands together gleefully* Can't wait for tomorrow...

Creepy Query Girl said...

thanks Matt! I can't wait!

Jemi Fraser said...

Sounds like a terrific book :) I'm looking forward to seeing your suggestions.

Renae said...

Sounds like a good book! Can't wait to hear your thoughts.

Christina Lee said...

Hi Katie and Matt! Looking forward to tomorrow!

Bish Denham said...

Interesting premise. Looking forward to tomorrow.

Michelle McLean said...

ooo lots of potential :D Sounds like a fun story!

Justine Dell said...

First, whoa--I didn't know you lived in France. That's awesome!

Second, er..wait, we were supposed to wait until tomorrow to say anything, right? Even good stuff? Okay, I'll zip it and come back.

~JD

Lindsay (a.k.a Isabella) said...

Yay to Katie. Sounds awesome...can't wait till tomorrow to help make it more sparkly.:)

Shannon said...

This is awesome! I love the premise and can't wait to read more. Katie is the bestest. <3

Piedmont Writer said...

Okay, the only thing I want to know is how did Kate know about Misquamicut? I'm from Rhode Island and it's as far off the beaten path as you can get. Not even people who live there know where it is. (I do because I also know it's where the nudist colony is *wink wink*)

Colene Murphy said...

Sounds so interesting! Can't wait to see more of it and read what you have to say about this!

Tere Kirkland said...

Really love this premise. How often do you get to hear the word Fossegrim? Nice!

Emily White said...

I feel like those mind reading guys off of Chronicles of Riddick.

"Another one. You brought us another one."

Yeah, I channel movies quite frequently. And I know it's creepy.

Creepy? As in Creepy Query Girl? Huh? Huh?? Duh-dun dun! Yeah, nevermind.

Waaay too little sleep happening over here.

LTM said...

LOVE it! sounds amazing~ can't wait for tomorrow~ :o)

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Sounds intriguing!

Jeffrey Beesler said...

I want to read this book...

Stephen Tremp said...

I'll be back for tomorrow's post. Question: Do you think its a good idea to end the synopsis with a question rather than a sentence? Like, will Rocky McToughguy be able to defeat the evil Dorkazoid before Earth is enslaved? I'm getting mixed reviews on this regarding query letters. Thanks.

Confused in Cleveland

Stephen Tremp

Carolyn Abiad said...

Merpeople rock! Love the title too. Misquamicut is part of my old stomping grounds...RI beaches are better than the ones in CT. (I always had my swimsuit, Piedmont Writer)

Old Kitty said...

Oh well I love the premise of this story and now know why the novel is called Fossegrim!! It's a nice twist - a mer-teenage boy! Brilliant!!

Take care
x

Candyland said...

Yay Katie! And Yay Timmy! (sorry. my brain is fried today)...that's all Candyland has left...

Robert Guthrie said...

So cool that you're doing this.

Melissa said...

Looking forward to tomorrow! This looks great...

Slamdunk said...

"But that was before he woke up on the bottom of the ocean with a freaking fish tail."

Now that is an attention grabber CQG. I am looking forward to tomorrow's post.