Here is Emily's new query, which she has updated based on our advice, yay!
Dear Super Agent:
Emily has a great point about this. She wanted to make sure to let me know that she puts this here because her dream agent prefers it there. The best advice for this is to find out what each agent wants, but if they don't say I would still advise jumping right into the story.
Seventeen year old Ella thinks it just sucks that life gets worse after escaping an interstellar prison ship. For one, in prison no one expected her to do anything except sit around all day in a dark, dank, dirty, depressing…well, you get it. But now, everyone she meets—though as nice as they may be—seems to think she’s supposed to save the galaxy from a war-happy fallen angel with a god complex—or die trying.
I mean, have they seen her? Years of solitary confinement haven’t exactly prepared her for fighting, or walking—or any semblance of balance on two feet for that matter.
But after being nearly ripped to pieces by some all-too-hungry giant bugs, Ella discovers a latent ability she never knew she had. Anybody order crispy critters? With fire now at her tenuous disposal, Ella’s forced to admit she might be different and come to terms with the monster raging inside her—the monster that would like nothing more than to watch the universe burn. Unfortunately, the god she’s supposed to fight’s not sitting around waiting for her to figure everything out. He knows the prophecy claiming she’s the one meant to kill him. But he also knows he’s got a better chance of winning and plunging the galaxy into a veritable hell if he takes her before she learns the scope of her power. If Ella doesn’t embrace the monster and stand up to this god, she won’t be the only one to end up dead.
ELEMENTAL, a 66,000 word YA Science Fiction set in a galaxy in desperate need of change, is rife with teleporting fairies, interstellar battleships, and things that go boom.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
This is so much better Emily! Great work. Just remember a query is never really done and if it's not getting the request rate you'd hoped for you can always come ask the community for more help. It's what we're here for.
So that's it for today. Thanks for visiting!