Thursday, May 24, 2012

Mixed Metaphors

I'm taking tomorrow off, because my baby is graduating from Elementary school (congraduations, Madi!) so today is my Friday. Therefore, I'm just going to hook you up with a little fun.


Mixed Metaphors are something to be avoided, of course, in writing. Unless you're going for camp on purpose. But outside of writing, they're a lot of fun to think about, and besides mixed metaphor is a damned fun phrase to say.

So here you have it, the internet's best mixed metaphors:
  • We could stand here and talk until the cows turn blue.
  • I wouldn’t eat that with a ten-foot pole.
  • He’s not the one with his ass in a noose.
  • I can read him like the back of my book.
  • From now on, I’m watching everything you do with a fine-tuned comb.
  • It’s as easy as falling off a piece of cake.
  • He’s like a duck out of water.
  • He’s burning the midnight oil from both ends.
  • It sticks out like a sore throat.
  • People are dying like hotcakes.
  • He’s a little green behind the ears.
  • We have to get all our ducks on the same page.
  • I have a lot of black sheep in my closet.
  • I'm sweating like a bullet.
  • A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
  • It's as American as killing two love birds with one apple.
Anyway, I'm sure you guys get the point. Have a great weekend!

45 comments:

Vivi said...

Those are awesome! (The "ass in the noose" one made me snort.) And congrats to your little one! Mine is just graduating kindergarten and I'm freaking out. How can he be going into FIRST grade? HOW?????

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Well if he doesn't wash he might be a little green behind the ears!
Enjoy your daughter's graduation.

L. Diane Wolfe said...

LOL! I'm a bit of a klutz so I probably could fall off a piece of cake.

farawayeyes said...

I think I've said at least one of those, BUT then sometimes I'm a little confused.

Congratulations Madi!

Oh, and Dad - it's all downhill from here.

Cathy Olliffe-Webster said...

What, there's something wrong with mixed metaphors??? There's some real beauties there I might have to steal...
Happy Graduation, Madi!!!! Take some tissues, Dad!

L.G.Smith said...

Congrats to Madi!

And yes, I think I've used a few of those before. My wiring has long been crossed.

Clarissa Draper said...

Funny! I should have a character purposely mix their metaphors so I get to make them up... or not. Maybe they come naturally to me like touching an ass with a ten-foot pole.

Clarissa Draper said...

Whoa! Holy crap! That one I made up totally came out gross. Sorry.

elizabeth seckman said...

Congrats to your daughter. My baby boy is graduating high school tomorrow. :(
It goes fast. Bonus good dad points for taking the day off for her graduation.

And the duck metaphors...they make sense to me,maybe because I'm blond...

Bryan Russell said...

That was right on target - a definite bull's ear to the ground.

Old Kitty said...

Awww happy graduation to Madi! Hope you all have a great day tomorrow! I don't get the black sheep on chest reference! LOL!! Take care
x

Carolyn Abiad said...

I find it interesting that a man who adores Yoda is bothered by a little green behind the ears. ;) Congrats to Madi!

Joshua said...

I'm reminded of Boondock Saints, and the Tourette's bartender. "Why don't you make like a tree, and get the f___ out of here?"

Fun Fact: That bartender from Boondock Saints? That was the "Human" or "Silly Creature" from Fraggle Rock.

Michael Offutt, Tebow Cult Initiate said...

Unfortunately, I see these in a lot of people's writing. I beta and/or edit other writer's manuscripts. Right now, I'm helping out two people. And I've seen stuff like this and told them to stop it.

Nancy Thompson said...

I've never heard of any of those before. Thanks for the giggle! Have fun at your kid's graduation.

Elise Fallson said...

Congratulations Madi for graduating! It's a jungle out there... :p

lizakane.me said...

What an awesome reminder! And yay, "Congraduations" to Madi! ^_^

JEM said...

The ass in a noose is by far my favorite. Just the visual on that will boggle me for the day. Where did you get these? They're amazeballs!

Matthew MacNish said...

@ JEM - I found them on the internet.

Andrew Leon said...

Funny stuff! Ass in a noose is awesome. Probably not more awesome than the others, though.

The woman/fish thing, though... that's a real one. I mean, it's a real simile, nothing mixed about it. "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle."

Natalie Aguirre said...

Thanks for sharing the fun stuff. Have fun at Madi's graduation tomorrow.

Donna K. Weaver said...

Congrats to Madi, and to her papa. =D

Mixed metaphors always make me think of Back to the Future.

Kelly Polark said...

THose are amusing. I'll have to use some of them for a laugh!

Enjoy your daughter's special day!!

Suz Korb said...

HAHAHAHA! Love it.

Lynn Proctor said...

haha pretty funny:)

Christina Lee said...

Too fun!!!!! It sticks out like a sore throat kinda makes me giggle.

Go, Madi, GO!!!

The Golden Eagle said...

LOL. Those are hilarious!

Congratulations to Madi.

Elana Johnson said...

Love the picture! That illustrates it perfectly. Have a great day off tomorrow.

Scribbles From Jenn said...

Thanks for the laugh.

Congratulations to you and Madi! Finishing kindergarten deserves congratulations. It's tough! I know, I use to teach it.

Mark Koopmans said...

Hey Matt,

Congrats on the graduation (and the few words of support shown by dear ol' Alex:)

Have a great Memorial Day Weekend.

Susan Kaye Quinn said...

Wait, bullets don't sweat?? :)

Happy Weekend!

Justine Dell said...

I've never figures out those sweating bullets one. It's like "I'm sweating like a pig". Pigs don't sweat either. So then are you dry as a bone? ;-)

~JD

Justine Dell said...

Oh, and congrats to your offspring! Mine grade from middle-school just last night. *tear*

~JD

DL Hammons said...

LOL! Thanks for the laugh just before the weekend. Enjoy yours! And congrats to the little one. :)

C.M.Brown said...

Stopping by from Alex's blog to say hi and congratulations!

Inger said...

Great post! I never really understood how a mixed metaphor works. Since English is my second language and I don't recall ever learning about it in school, a mixed metaphor has always been a mystery to me. So thanks for this and for stopping by my blog.

Jessica Salyer said...

Congrats to Madi on her graduation. And congrats to you on getting Alex's "YOU ROCK" award. You definitely rock. :)

Melissa Sugar said...

Very amusing post. I don't use them in my writing, but I have been guilty of screwing up my metaphors and cliches when I am talking.

Congrats on the elementary school graduation. Middle school is next and then they just grow up way too fast. Enjoy your day.

TL Conway said...

Congrats to Madi! What a fun time! (Try to keep it together, Dad.) ;)

There's a character on NCIS who mixes her metaphors all the time. Drives me crazy. Yes, we get it. She's not from the US. Point. Made.

Maurice Mitchell said...

LOL These are great Matthew "two love birds" twisted at least three metaphors.

- Maurice Mitchell
The Geek Twins | Film Sketchr
@thegeektwins | @mauricem1972

Ella said...

Awe, enjoy your daughter's graduation! I love that age, so fun~
Nice to meet you! I found you via Alex...you do rock ;D

Sherry Ellis said...

Those are great! I'm sweating like a bullet because it's 92 degrees where I live. Who knows, it might make me a little green behind the ears!

Libby said...

I don't like musicals but Edwin Drood is pretty good. There's a line I sing that ends with "To mix a metaphor or two" Love it.

Traci Kenworth said...

Lol. And congrats on your baby graduating. Mine are 13 and one going on 15.

Len Lambert said...

I like the "he's a little green behind the ears." Hehehe.

Congratulations to you and your baby, Matthew :)