Thursday, May 17, 2012

Matt Hentschel's Current Query

Happy Thursday, everybody! Man, yesterday was rough. I got up at 4 AM to come into work, because I had to leave early, to go see my daughter put on a play at school. My baby is graduating from elementary school next Friday. Yes, I could have just used PTO, but I'm kind of a stickler about saving that up.

Anyway, today we have another query letter. If you don't know Matt Hentschel, you can find his blog at From the Borderlands. You should go follow him. His blog is very new, but he's a great illustrator in addition to being an aspiring writer.

So here's his query:

Dear [Agent],

Bookish seventh grader Laurel Rooseveldt never imagined her family’s move to Lonewater would result in the loss of her soul. After all, life in the pastoral town starts out well enough – Laurel’s simple hope of making a friend is realized the moment she meets fearless tomboy Samantha Ellerton.

But beneath Lonewater’s serene fa├žade lurks a dark and sinister secret: a boy named Charlie. For Charlie plays the unwilling host to something inhuman, something wicked which emerges from him to steal the souls of Lonewater’s children, leaving them in comas from which they never awaken. And Charlie cannot control it.

At first Laurel doesn’t believe the stories of Charlie and the Soul-Thief. But when her younger brother becomes the abomination’s latest victim, they suddenly become far more real. With the reluctant help of Charlie himself, Laurel confronts the Thief in a desperate attempt to rescue her brother…but things go horribly wrong when Samantha unexpectedly intervenes.

Torn from their reality, Laurel and Samantha now find themselves trapped in the world of the Soul-Thief, a strange, phantasmagoric dreamscape of endless night populated by bizarre beings and terrifying creatures. Together the two young girls must make their way through the surreal and frightening world, attempting to learn how to save not only Laurel’s brother, but all the souls the Thief has stolen – to include their own.

Complete at 78,300 words, A CHILD’S FAERIE-TALE is a young adult dark fantasy with series potential that I’m hoping will be of interest to you because [personalized reason].

I have been published as an artist and uncredited writer/editor for Mysterians (2008), a graphic novel available from Tokyopop. While not the first novel I have written, this is the first I have submitted for representation and publication.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

Matt Hentschel

That's it.

Please save your feedback for tomorrow, and thank Matt for his courage in sharing this with us.

26 comments:

Dianne K. Salerni said...

Happy to join! I remember starting my blog, when my only members were my husband, my sister, and somehow I scored Creepy Query Girl!

I'll be back tomorrow to comment.

I like your early blogging Matt. I do my blog reading over coffee between 6:30 and 7:00. Otherwise I have to wait until I get out of school. (Mean school network, cutting me off from Blogger ...)

Sarah said...

I followed Matt H--this sounds like a fascinating story and I'm looking forward to seeing your feedback, Matt (M)!

Jessica Bell said...

Congrats to your daughter! :)
Will go check out Matt's blog.

Jessica Bell said...

Congrats to your daughter! :)
Will go check out Matt's blog.

Christine Danek said...

I will check out Matt's blog. I will be back tomorrow to check out your take, Matthew.
Congrats to your daughter.

Em-Musing said...

You're a good daddy. Checking out Matt's blog, and boy...what a story! Can't wait to see your comments.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Family first! Will be back tomorrow to see what you have to say about this query.

Jeremy Bates said...

Thanks for posting this, I will check his blog out and congratulations to you and your daughter.

Tasha Seegmiller said...

I love that people live the rule of family first. I am intrigued by the premise of this - look forward to your comments tomorrow.

Jess said...

Sorry you had to get up so early, but I'm sure the play was worth it! Congrats to your daughter for making it through elementary school~ now come the middle school years :)

Michael G-G said...

The play's the thing! Hope you caught up with your sleep!

I'll be back tomorrow, with a few (very few) thoughts.

Elise Fallson said...

You are such a great Dad! Going to check out Matt's blog and will be back tomorrow. (:

Sarah Ahiers said...

I'll be back, as usual!

Nabila Fairuz said...

Aww, that's so cute! Congrats to your daughter Matthew.

I like the idea of a Soul Thief. Can't wait to check your feedback on Matt's query.

cleemckenzie said...

I love the story he's laid out so well in his query. I'll have to pop over and read his blog.

Christina Lee said...

Hello the two Matt's!!! Um wow, Matt, I almost feel like Matt #2 doesn't have much work to do on this one---awesome!

Nancy Thompson said...

Matt's query could use a tweek here and there, but all in all, it's not bad. Can't wait to see what you suggest.

I've already zipped on over to Matt's blog, followed and commented.

Michael Offutt, Tebow Cult Initiate said...

Another person named Matt? I think my brain exploded. Which Matt will know who I'm talking to?

Joshua said...

Quite interesting, indeed.

Donna K. Weaver said...

Oooo . . . chilling.

Jemi Fraser said...

Sounds like an intriguing premise! Looking forward to Matt's crit :)

A Quiet Corner said...

Interesting...yet more so is that your daughter is graduating soon...CONGRATS to both of you!...:)JP

K.D. Storm said...

There is an award for you on my blog.

Misha Gericke said...

Will head over right now. I still remember what it was like to be new to the blogging game. ;-)

farawayeyes said...

I'm a little slow on the up take, spent yesterday at the beach,but that's probably TMI,just getting to this. Thanks Matt and Matt for sharing and providing the forum. I'll be back later to see the critique. Interesting premise.

Traci Kenworth said...

Sounds like something up my alley. I await your crit.