Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Anita Exley's Current Query

First of all: shout out to leap day. If you were born today, you're only one fourth as old as the rest of us, so you probably can't drink, smoke, or drive.

Next, does anyone know Anita? Probably not. Her blog is pretty new. But, like many of my New Zealand Middle Earthian friends, I met her through Jade. Anita blogs at Mutterings from the Oubliette, which is the second coolest title for a blog after The QQQE (no, I can't even be bothered to type the whole thing myself anymore, maybe I should reflect on that). Anyway, go follow her blog.

Back? Great. Here's her query:

Dear [agent],

[Enter research done on the agent and reference as to why I chose them to query]

In Georgian England, seventeen-year-old Allie Donovan carries an Egyptian blade in her boot, a chip on her shoulder and the shadow of the noose over her life.

Common born Allie roams the slate hallways of exclusive St Matthews armed with her dagger and sharp wit, trying to find her place in an inhospitable environment. She sparks conflict, physical and verbal, with the aristocratic Jared McLaren. The handsome noble is undefeated with a blade, until Allie turns his sense of honour upon him, for a win.

When a Kings Royal Aeronautical Corp airship lands at school, discharging black clad soldiers it raises a spectre from Allie’s past. Breaking Jared into the underground laboratory of their mutual friend, Zeb, they discover he’s not just constructing mechanical cats and automated limbs. He is working on a devastating new weapon for the military.

With Zeb marked as a target by the underworld, KRAC fails to protect him. Allie’s illicit skills and contacts make her the only one Jared can trust. The deeper Allie goes, her feelings for Jared intensify, as she discovers her history is intertwined with their mission.

In revealing her past, Allie jeopardises her future. She must decide her course if they are to find the weapon before it plunges Europe into a monstrous war.

REVELATION is a steampunk novel aimed at the young adult market. The novel is complete at 76,000 words.

Thank you very much for your time and consideration.

That's it.

What is it with Kiwis writing really good queries? Don't answer that. We'll be back tomorrow with my feedback, so please save yours for then as well.

Thanks!

21 comments:

Suzie F. said...

Hi Allie! Nice to meet you. If I were an agent I would request pages in a heartbeat. This sounds awesome!

Can't wait for Matt's critique. And for the record...A blog name with 3 Qs in a row is very cool, imho. Just sayin'.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Very concise - I like it.

Sarah Pearson said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sarah Pearson said...

Argh, thought today was critiquing day! Have removed my thoughts :-)

Stina Lindenblatt said...

The three Q's is cool. :)

Can't wait to read the feedback.

Tonja said...

Will be back tomorrow.

Emily White said...

Hello, Allie!! It's nice to meet you.

farawayeyes said...

Hi Allie,nice to meet you.Thanks for sharing.

Matthew MacNish said...

LOL. Guys, ALLIE is the character. ANITA is the author.

Sarah Ahiers said...

...oubliette is one of the coolest words in the world

Michael Offutt, Tebow Cult Initiate said...

She had a great post about an earthquake in New Zealand. I went and followed.

Johanna Garth said...

I love that first paragraph. Such a great hook!

Joshua said...

You had me at Steampunk.

A W Exley said...

Hi everyone! I want to say a big thank-you to Matt for the opportunity to be featured here today.

I'm a bit of a girly-swat (or a masochist LOL) and I'm looking forward to lots of red pen and feedback I can really sink my teeth into :)

Ciara said...

I like! I was hooked quickly and would want to read more if I were an agent. :)

Jade Hart said...

Yay, Go Anita, I mean Allie, I mean Anita :) lol. So happy Matt posted your query and I'm going to gloat and say I've got to read some of your MS:) It's wicked people :)

welcome to my world of poetry said...

Wonderfully enjoyable,

Yvonne.

Wine and Words said...

I like your photo McNish. It is so quiet.

I am so befuddled I didn't even realize it was a leap year. I didn't even realize it when someone talked about only being able to celebrate their birthday every four years, and being only 13 years old today. I scratched my chin and thought, what the hell? He's gone loco. Ha. Return finger point.

Donna Hole said...

How exciting; a steampunk. Have't seen one of these in a long time.

.....dhole

Sunayana said...

i love <3 im following!

Osama Zain said...

So good topic really i like any post talking about Ancient Egypt but i want to say thing to u Ancient Egypt not that only ... you can see in Ancient Egypt Ancient Egyptian Gods and more , you shall search in Google and Wikipedia about that .... thanks a gain ,,,