Do you guys know Deniz? She blogs over at The Girdle of Melian (and if you don't know what that references, we probably can't be friends). Go on. Go follow her.
Back? Excellent.
Here's her query:
Dear [Agent],
Rosa becomes separated from her family as they flee their Spanish homeland – and the Inquisition. Now her one hope of reaching Constantinople, and reuniting with her family, lies with a stranger, Baha, an artist from the Ottoman Empire. As they travel together, Rosa's drive to find her loved ones is matched by a deepening desire for the man at her side.
Her family refuses to accept this man of a different faith, but when janissaries arrest her father and brother, Rosa and Baha risk everything to rescue them. Together they will prove that their love can withstand their differences... if the Grand Vizier doesn't throw them both into the dungeons first.
OUT OF THE WATER is complete at 115,000 words. I admire your client [Name] and found your website through [his/her] blog. Based on [xyz], you might find my 15th Century historical romance a good fit for your interests.
I have lived and worked in Turkey, and my non-fiction work, including travel articles, book reviews and personal essays, has most recently appeared in the trilingual (English, French, and Turkish) newspaper Bizim Anadolu. Initial drafts of OUT OF THE WATER were revised through participation in author Barbara Rogan's invitation-only Next Level Workshop.
Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely,
Deniz Bevan
That's it.
Please save your feedback for tomorrow, when I'll be sharing mine.
25 comments:
Followed! Thanks for introducing me to Deniz. I'll be back tomorrow!
yes, thanks for the intro. I'll be back tomorrow. I too followed.
Wow, short and to the point!
I love Deniz, she one of the most amazing people I have met online. She gives so much support to the community.
Uh oh. I saw an em dash.
Janissaries and grand viziers?! Hooked!
Hi Deniz nice to meet you. I like it.
Followed! Matthew, you certainly have us all well trained. Looking forward to feedback tomorrow. Good luck, Brave Deniz!
I'm a huge fan of Deniz, so this is great to see!!
Looks great- can't wait to see the suggestions for tomorrow.
Nice. Can't wait to see what you suggest.
Oh I know Deniz! She's brilliant!
Sounds great!
Yes, I know Denise! And dang, what a query! Well done straight out of the gate.
And by Denise, I meant Deniz. Sorry. I really should proofread.
Wowee, I agree on the short and sweet! A good skill to have!
Deniz is lovely!! Love, love, love Deniz!!!! And can I say now, I think this query is really really strong!!
Yay Deniz!! Take care
x
Nice to meet you Deniz. Nice Query. As always, looking forward to see what Matthew has to say tomorrow.
Deniz is terrific and it sounds like she's got a great story on her hands :)
Deniz is awesome!
Intriguing query...The topic is so unexpected and therefore interesting. Tired of vampires.
Can't wait to see what Matt has to say. I'll check back tomorrow :)
Eek! You guys are making me blush!
I've known Deniz from the Books and Writers Forum for years! And I'm a confirmed believer in anything she writes.
And I'm following, too, Matthew.
Tight query. I'd like to see a hint of who the protagonist is instead of what's happening to her. She's fleeing her homeland and she's falling in love. But who is she? Just an adjective thrown in might suffice.
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