Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Jeffrey Beesler's Current Query

Another query today. What? This is the QQQE, after all. I'm sure you all know Jeff. He's one of the coolest blogger's out there, and a very encouraging friend. Plus, he lives on Bainbridge Island, and I'm totally jealous, because I'm from Seattle, but couldn't afford to stay there when it came time to grow up and buy property.

Anyway, enough about me. You can find Jeff's blog, here. You should visit him and follow it.

Back? Here's Jeff's query:

Dear Mr./Ms. Redacted,

Sorceress Embekah Mare would just love it if she could just focus on studying magic, rather than prepare for the day the Royal Army of Trava finally busts down her door. She hasn’t committed a crime in twenty years, her worst offense simply being a member of a now defunct thieves’ guild. She can’t even procure information on magical toadstools from her former guild sister, Tarbra Relsh, without risking her freedom. And it certainly seems strange how the army conveniently leaves Tarbra alone to run the Z’lymor Inn, yet jumps at the chance to arrest Embekah just for buying exotic toadstools at the local marketplace.

When a knight named Patrew invades Embekah’s abode, fury consumes her in a magical backlash that renders her unconscious. Upon recovery, she awakens to discover a spell of entrapment binding them both inside the manor’s walls. Now forced to live together, she must navigate her way through alternating feelings of trust and suspicion, contending with the man’s stubborn belief of her guilt all the while.

And just when Embekah thinks she can fully trust Patrew, a shape-shifting spirit arrives inside the magical barrier’s walls to threaten her life. Unless she diffuses this new menace, collapses the barrier or alerts Tarbra somehow, she may never escape her would-be captor.

Spell of Entrapment is a fantasy novel of approximately 72,000 words. Sample pages and chapters are available upon request. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

Jeffrey Beesler

That's it.

Today is just for introductions. Please thank Jeff for sharing his query for all of us to learn from, visit his blog and follow him, but save your feedback for tomorrow, when I will share my critique with all of you. Thanks!

29 comments:

Dianne K. Salerni said...

I actually don't know Jeff.
*waves at Jeff*
Heading over to check out Jeff's blog now.

Bryan Russell said...

Okay, that was kind of awesome. I think the Bees is headed for some query success.

farawayeyes said...

Hi Jeff, nice to meet you. Thanks for climbing out on that limb. See you on the flip side.

Em-Musing said...

I'm already spellbound.

Nancy said...

looking forward to seeing tomorrow's post. Headed to Jeff's blog.

Joshua said...

Well, it's part of my normal reading genre...

Pat Hatt said...

Wow, that wasn't a bad read or query at all, nice.

Dawn Ius said...

Oh! Sounds like a good one. Will be back tomorrow to see what the verdict is - and heading over to Jeff's blog now :-)

Justine Dell said...

Wow. Talk about a voice.

And *snickers* I'm sorry, but the word "Mare" in the first line had me thinking all the characters where horses.

It's me, though. Horses is all I ever hear about at home. ;-)

~JD

Tonja said...

Interesting story. Love the character names - if I ever write fantasy (unlikely) I'm going to name my characters Steve, Bob, and Irene just because it's funny.

Jeffrey Beesler said...

Dianne: It's a pleasure to meet you!

Bryan: Your words have put a smile on my face today.

Farawayeyes: For some reason the limb appeared sturdy. The kid in me couldn't pass it up!

Em: Awesomeness!

Nancy: I'm also looking forward to tomorrow's post!

Jeffrey Beesler said...

Joshua: That bodes well for me, then!

Dawn: I can't wait to see the verdict either!

Pat: Glad you enjoyed the read!

Justine: Part of the name thing, I think, is that originally my book was to be entitled "Knight-Mares" or something to that effect.

Tonja: For Embekah and Patrew, I combined names of Emma and Rebekah, and Patrick and Andrew, to get my fantasy names for them.

Matthew: Thanks again for hosting my query! I really appreciate it, man!

mshatch said...

ooh! Sounds interesting - can't wait to see what the QQQE has to say :)

Michael Offutt, Tebow Cult Initiate said...

Greetings Mr. Beesler. I look forward to seeing Matthew eviscerate your query with dual ninja swords.

Huntress said...

Jeff/Jeffrey...hm, where have I heard that name before?

*crazy laughter*

Can't wait for TQQQE's crit.

Huntress said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Johanna Garth said...

Hi Jeff, from a fellow PNW (in Portland). Heading over to check out his blog!

Jay Noel said...

Nice to meet Jeff.

Not a bad query...interested to see what you have to say and compare with my own ideas!

Suzie F. said...

Hi Jeff! Nice to meet you. Can't wait for tomorrow's critique.

Elana Johnson said...

Hey Jeff! Yay for another query to critique. I am falling seriously behind...

Sarah Ahiers said...

I'll be back tomorrow, as usual

ali cross said...

Interesting! And I'm embarrassed because I *don't* know Jeff ... off to remedy that now!

Nancy Thompson said...

Ooh, this one looks good! Be back tomorrow!!

DeniseCovey_L_Aussie said...

Great query Jeffrey. I'm sure it'll tantalize an agent.

Denise

Clarissa Draper said...

Thank you, Jeff! Can see what you do to it, Matt!

Deana said...

Hi Jeff! Thanks for sharing your query. I'm looking forward to finding out how this crit goes:)

Speaking of query critiques. How does one get in on trying to get one on your blog Matt? Just curious.

Lydia Kang said...

What a fascinating premise!

Donna Hole said...

Eeeek; I wrote up my crit and almost posted it.

I'm a fan of Jeff Beesler. So brave of you Jeff to post your query for critique.

.......dhole

Melissa Bradley said...

I follow Jeffrey already and just think he's the best. I'm liking this story a lot and think he's got a great letter here.