Kathleen McLaughlin's Current Query

Morning, readers. Today we're finally getting back to business on the QQQE. I can't for the life of me remember what we've been doing since the last one of these, but that's not the point.

Anyway, today I'm sharing Kathleen's query letter with you. I know Kathleen from the Your First Novel group I'm in on Facebook, and she was looking for some help with her query, so I offered up my services.

I've got some new followers around here, so I'll explain how this works in a moment, but I just want to make sure everyone knows what a query letter is, and how they're usually structured. I'm not going to explain it right now, because we're all writers and probably already know, but if you don't, or you're just curious, please ask in the comments.

So, assuming we all know what a query letter is, how it works, and what its purpose is, this is the way I handle them on my blog: Today I'm sharing Kathleen's query. The point of today's post is to familiarize yourself with her story premise (and of course to introduce you to her). Please save all feedback for tomorrow, after I've shared my critique of Kathleen's letter.

I like to make these critiques a two day series, because it gives me a chance to think about her story, and it keeps me from having to write yet another blog post. Not that I don't love writing blog posts.

So that's enough of my rambling. Here's here query:

Ms. So Anne So
Ural Writers Agency
1234 Publishers Avenue
NY, NY 55555

Re: Blood Clouds

Dear Ms. So Anne So,

In the quaint hamlet of Raven's Corner, Detective Jordan Ireland profiles a serial killer, but her night terrors hint she's connected to the killer.

Jordan generates the serialist's profile, but repressed memories vex her. When the murderer expands his hunting grounds to the emerald hillocks of Seattle, Detective Blaine Davis enters Jordan's world, but he wants to exchange more than profiling notes. She cools his ardor, focused on the killer eluding her. When the serialist targets Jordan's loved ones, the tragic events rush her repressed memories to the forefront. She fills in the missing pieces of her own past and discovers the killer is her own brother. Stressed to the breaking point, she wonders if she's courageous enough to revisit a childhood best forgotten to face down the killer. When Davis is taken hostage, Jordan faces the love she can no longer deny. When Jordan deduced she is the killer's psychological trigger, it forces him up close and dangerous. The psychological thriller, Blood Clouds, is 100,000 words.

I'm college educated in criminal law and criminal justice and researched criminal profiling and serial killers. As a former publicity agent, lecturer and instructor and having been interviewed for print and television, I bring the professional experience needed to promote my books. Additional completed manuscripts in the series show my commitment to future projects.

Renowned serial killer expert, Dr. Steven A. Egger, Ph.D. endorses Blood Clouds. “A very good read! You obviously have done your homework...an excellent writer!” Dr. Egger is the published author of, The Need To Kill, The Killers Among Us and Serial Murder.

Please find enclosed a synopsis and sample chapters. Thank you in advance for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Most sincerely,

Kathleen McLaughlin

So there you go. Please remember to save your feedback for tomorrow.

For now you can just say hello to Kathleen in the comments, and thank her for having the courage to share this. I don't believe she has a blog, but I will double check and update this post if necessary.

Thanks!

UPDATE: Kathleen does have a blog. You can find it: here.