Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Kathleen McLaughlin's Current Query

Morning, readers. Today we're finally getting back to business on the QQQE. I can't for the life of me remember what we've been doing since the last one of these, but that's not the point.

Anyway, today I'm sharing Kathleen's query letter with you. I know Kathleen from the Your First Novel group I'm in on Facebook, and she was looking for some help with her query, so I offered up my services.

I've got some new followers around here, so I'll explain how this works in a moment, but I just want to make sure everyone knows what a query letter is, and how they're usually structured. I'm not going to explain it right now, because we're all writers and probably already know, but if you don't, or you're just curious, please ask in the comments.

So, assuming we all know what a query letter is, how it works, and what its purpose is, this is the way I handle them on my blog: Today I'm sharing Kathleen's query. The point of today's post is to familiarize yourself with her story premise (and of course to introduce you to her). Please save all feedback for tomorrow, after I've shared my critique of Kathleen's letter.

I like to make these critiques a two day series, because it gives me a chance to think about her story, and it keeps me from having to write yet another blog post. Not that I don't love writing blog posts.

So that's enough of my rambling. Here's here query:

Ms. So Anne So
Ural Writers Agency
1234 Publishers Avenue
NY, NY 55555

Re: Blood Clouds

Dear Ms. So Anne So,

In the quaint hamlet of Raven's Corner, Detective Jordan Ireland profiles a serial killer, but her night terrors hint she's connected to the killer.

Jordan generates the serialist's profile, but repressed memories vex her. When the murderer expands his hunting grounds to the emerald hillocks of Seattle, Detective Blaine Davis enters Jordan's world, but he wants to exchange more than profiling notes. She cools his ardor, focused on the killer eluding her. When the serialist targets Jordan's loved ones, the tragic events rush her repressed memories to the forefront. She fills in the missing pieces of her own past and discovers the killer is her own brother. Stressed to the breaking point, she wonders if she's courageous enough to revisit a childhood best forgotten to face down the killer. When Davis is taken hostage, Jordan faces the love she can no longer deny. When Jordan deduced she is the killer's psychological trigger, it forces him up close and dangerous. The psychological thriller, Blood Clouds, is 100,000 words.

I'm college educated in criminal law and criminal justice and researched criminal profiling and serial killers. As a former publicity agent, lecturer and instructor and having been interviewed for print and television, I bring the professional experience needed to promote my books. Additional completed manuscripts in the series show my commitment to future projects.

Renowned serial killer expert, Dr. Steven A. Egger, Ph.D. endorses Blood Clouds. “A very good read! You obviously have done your homework...an excellent writer!” Dr. Egger is the published author of, The Need To Kill, The Killers Among Us and Serial Murder.

Please find enclosed a synopsis and sample chapters. Thank you in advance for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Most sincerely,

Kathleen McLaughlin

So there you go. Please remember to save your feedback for tomorrow.

For now you can just say hello to Kathleen in the comments, and thank her for having the courage to share this. I don't believe she has a blog, but I will double check and update this post if necessary.

Thanks!

UPDATE: Kathleen does have a blog. You can find it: here.

29 comments:

Natalie Aguirre said...

Sounds like an interesting story. I used to love to read murder mysteries when I had time to read adult books. And Kathleen sounds like an expert in this field. Looking forward to your critique.

Suzie F. said...

Nice to meet you, Kathleen. Looking forward to tomorrow's critique.

Joshua said...

Interesting premise, but I'll say no more as to not break the rules.

Kristen said...

Looking forward to this one.

Shannon said...

Hi Kathleen! Thank you so much for sharing your query with everyone. I'm looking forward to tomorrow's feedback!

Christina Lee said...

Hi there! How cool of a title is Blood Clouds?!?

Liza said...

Gulp. The murderer is her brother? Wow! Good for you for writing something that most people would shy away from!

Shain Brown said...

Can't wait. I am ready for this one, see you tomorrow.

Jess said...

Wow~ awesome credentials! Looking forward to the critique :)

Michael G-G said...

Can't wait to see what you have to say, O Query Master.

Old Kitty said...

Hi Kathleen!! Can't wait to see Mr MacNish's take on your query! It's a truly cathartic and very creepy story btw - her own brother and all these nasty repressed memories!! Yikes! Take care
x

Jeffrey Beesler said...

Sometimes it's a good thing to take some time away from business and revel in a little pleasure with your blog, Matthew.

And I'm definitely looking forward to tomorrow's critique!

Wine and Words said...

Okay, I'm the dummy that doesn't know what a query letter is!

Sarah Pearson said...

*Waves at Kathleen*

Angela Brown said...

Hello Kathleen. Thanks so much for sharing your query. Hope you don't mind but I'll also stop by your blog-place to *wave* as well.

Helen Ginger said...

Thank you for sharing your query, Kathleen. I'll be back tomorrow to see what the results are.

Caledonia Lass said...

Good job allowing this post to be put up. Nice to meet you! Good luck with the critique.

Bish Denham said...

Gave me the willies reading it, which is what I would assume a mystery of this type should do. Yikes.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Hey Kathleen!

elizabethreinhardt said...

Hey Kathleen! Congrats on making it to query!! Woot! I hope your query process is short and super sweet...and I think it will be, since your book sounds awesome!

Jen Daiker said...

Ooo... hello Kathleen :) That's all I'll say for now!

Donna K. Weaver said...

I'm heading to Disneyland tomorrow, so I'll have to check back this weekend.

Sarah Ahiers (Falen) said...

i'll try to be back tomorrow evening, but i have a fam dinner. If not, i'll be here on thursday

Lydia Kang said...

Looking forward to the critique!

Slamdunk said...

Thanks Kathleen and Matthew. I am looking forward to the likes and recommendations as the topic is up my alley.

Escape Artist said...

I'll pop in tomorrow and see how it's all going and add my bit! : )

LynNerd said...

Wow! I can't wait to hear what you have to say about this, Matthew. Thanks for sharing this Kathleen.

Michael Offutt said...

Hello Kathleen. So nice to meet you and I look forward to offering some advice on this query even if Matthew's is always the best out of anything you will get from any comments.

Ishta Mercurio said...

Hey there! I look forward to the next post of this so we can all see what your thoughts are, Matt. I'll be back to throw in my two cents. :-)