Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Samantha Jean's Current Query

Before we get started, I just want to mention HBO's production of the feature film: Game Change. We watched it with the kids last night, and in spite of a bit of swearing, it's a great story. Regardless of whether you agree with the politics or not, the tale of John McCain's 2008 presidential campaign and his pick of Sarah Palin as a running mate is a fascinating story. I know we're all looking forward to Woody Harrelson as Haymitch, but he threw down another solid performance in this one. The real standout, though, is Julianne Moore, who proves once again that she is one of the greatest character actors of the era.

If you have HBO, I recommend giving it a shot.

Now, let's get down to business. Today is for Samantha Jean's query letter, but first, you must visit her blog and become a follower, here. Back? Excellent.

Her query:

Dear [AGENT],

I chose to submit my story for your consideration because of your expertise in the young adult genre, and because [personalized tidbit about agent/books or authors successfully represented by agent].

Almost-fifteen-year-old Lilith Butler’s life is a suburban girl’s heaven: perfect grades, loving parents, sister-like girlfriends, and her long-time crush is finally paying attention to her. That is, until the arrival of an uninvited guest two days before her birthday unearths buried family secrets which turn her existence into anything but heavenly.

Accepting she was adopted at birth and lied to ever since is difficult, but believing she’s related to mythological creatures and destined to become one of them? Yeah, right.

But one’s true nature cannot be denied.

Forced to forget her life as a mortal, Lilith goes to live with her father on his farm where she is indoctrinated into the ways of the Vrykólakas, an ancient race hidden from modern human society. It’s far from easy adjusting to life as a tame, blood-drinking immortal, especially with off-limits Devon Green providing constant temptation only a field away. However, denying her desire for Devon is as impossible as ignoring the haunting memories of her former life. Add learning she has a key role to play in the ongoing war for Heaven and has to learn to fight enemies she’s never heard of including demons whose bite means eternal death. And top it off with the risk of capture by Lucifer, the Lord of Chaos, if she ever leaves the protected confines of her family’s farm, and eternity is looking bleak.

Lilith’s unwillingness to embrace her destiny without first finding closure for the past leads her to follow her heart into a battle for more than just her immortal soul.

TÉLOS is a 115,000 word work of clean, YA Urban Fantasy, and this is my first novel.

Thank you for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you.

That's it.

Please save your feedback for tomorrow. Thanks!

23 comments:

Cathy Olliffe-Webster said...

I want to see that movie! Saw Julianne Moore on Anderson Cooper's show and even though I'm not American and American politics don't thrill me, Mizz Moore does. (Also, did anyone else see that show? The beaver? Was she not the cutest thing EVER?)

Did as I was told... Am now a follower of Mizz Samantha Jean. Good luck with your query, madame!

Tasha Seegmiller said...

This sounds intriguing. And I might consider the movie over the real politics right now...

Suzie F. said...

I've heard great things about the movie and the book, which focuses on other politicians as well. Unfortunately, we dropped HBO recently so I couldn't watch it.

Hello Samantha Jean! Nice to meet you. Looking forward to tomorrow's critique.

Em-Musing said...

While I love watching actors act a part...but I don't like watching Hollywood 'spin'. I actually changed the channel when it came on HBO. Now, after what you said, I'll probably give it a shot.

farawayeyes said...

Hi Samantha, nice to meet you. Thanks for being so brave.

Would love to see this one, but alas, no TV. Maybe Netflix, next year.

Kristen Wixted said...

Hi Samantha Jean. Pretty solid query for a first time, I think!

I already got tickets to HG movie--we did the Fandango thing. My 6th grader made me.

Nancy Thompson said...

I saw Julianne Moore on Leno recently & was amazed at her transformation into Sarah Palin. Sure, hair, makeup, & prosthetics did a lot, but it was her speech & mannerisms that reflected her superior acting chops. Amazing. Only wish I still had HBO. Bah! Anyway, I'll be back for your critique. I think I already know exactly what you'll say.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Hey Samantha!

Donna K. Weaver said...

Dang. Don't have HBO.

Go Samantha for being brave enough to do this.

Joshua said...

Interesting. Hmm...

Hey there, Samantha.

Sarah Ahiers said...

i do have HBO. Because how else would i get my true blood and GOT fix without it?
I'll be back tomorrow

J. A. Bennett said...

Have you seen http://slushpilehell.tumblr.com/ ? I think you would love it. So glad you have a blog like this to save people from making the mistakes on that site :)

Samantha Jean said...

Hello everyone and thanks! Very exciting...

I haven't seen Game Change, but would highly recommend The Game of Thrones series for lovers of fantasy. I liked it enough to consider getting cable so I can watch the new episodes without having to wait a year for them on dvd. NOT a show for kids though. :)

Michael Offutt, Tebow Cult Initiate said...

Hello Samantha. Good luck with your query tomorrow. I'm sure Matthew will have lots of things he will be pointing out for it that might improve it.

Christina Lee said...

Hi Samantha (I wonder what "clean" means)...

I love Julianne, Matt!

Barbara Watson said...

Hi Samantha! Looking forward to thin input Matthew and others have. I'm usually more of lurker on the queries because I'm still learning.

Barbara Watson said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Barbara Watson said...

Well, geez. First my comment came through twice AND it has a typo in it. I'm looking forward to the input...

Jessica Salyer said...

Hi Samantha, sounds like an intriguing story. Can't wait to see what Matthew says tomorrow.

SA Larsenッ said...

Hi, Samantha! Nice to meet you. Any story that tangles immortals, a hot crush, and Lucifer is right up my alley. Best of luck with your query!

Sarah Pearson said...

I'm glad I haven't missed this one. Can't wait to see what you come up with, Matt.

Christine Hardy said...

Okay, it's tomorrow. First of all, I very much appreciate that it's clean. As a mother of a soon-to-be ten-year-old, I am astonished by the raunchy stuff that is out there for "young adults" that I wouldn't even consider reading as an "old adult."

I am not a query expert, so I'm giving my un-expert opinion.

First of all, it looks very interesting and I think you did a good job with getting key information in there. I am wondering about story elements.

1. If she's of this race that drinks blood, has she not ever had any desire for it before? I would think she would have some signs that she doesn't fit in, i.e. that her life isn't really as perfect as it sounds in the beginning of the query.

2. How can she fight demons if she can't leave the farm?

3. Demon's bite meaning "eternal death." Death is eternal, so maybe you can clarify that. Do you mean eternal torture?

4. Lucifer is a specific Biblical demon, the prince of darkness, ruler of this world, the father of lies, etc. I haven't heard him called "Lord of Chaos" before. Not that you can't call him that, just be aware that there is already a character of Lucifer in religious mythology that people will already identify with, so it should be very clear in your book how that label came about for your Lucifer and how your character fits with the mythology.

That's all! Nice work, IMHO.

Laura Marcella said...

I have Game Change in my Netflix queue so hopefully it'll be on DVD sometime this year. Just from the previews I can't believe how much Julianne Moore looks like Sarah Palin! It's uncanny.