Monday, May 16, 2011

Laughter is the Best Medicine Blogfest

For real this time. Today is the actual day that LTM and Lydia K are holding their blogfest, so go here or here, to see the details.

I posted some writing related jokes last week, so this time I'll be reposting some old neologisms I shared last year. Get it? Old neologisms? Never mind.

Drunkbooking: This is like drunk dialing but instead you post things to facebook that you will end up regretting later. I do this a lot.

Redneck Lemonade: We live near Dawsonville GA. Kelly works at the Local Steak House. Redneck Lemonade is when a country bumpkin orders ice water, then asks for a bowl of lemons. They then add all the coffee sugar to turn their beverage into free lemonade.

Reintarnation: This one goes hand in hand with the previous and means coming back to life as a redneck.

Meaniac: This is my nephew's word. I imagine it means a meany who is also a maniac, but then with kids you never know, right?

Hasbro: A hasbro is a friend that has become a frenemy, or even an enemy.

Pokemon: A Jamaican Proctologist.

Frisbeetarianism: This one's not mine but I saw it on the internet somewhere and found it to be just dumb enough to share here. It is the belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.

Sudafed: This is another I stole which is a software program on how to file a civil action against the government.

Mouse Potato: This is basically all of us. Like a couch potato but instead of TV or video games, it's the internet, and blogs.

Adminishpere: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. This is like at my company, where we have around 50 or so employees. I swear that 25 are Vice Presidents.

D.I.N.K.: A landlord's favorite. This is a couple with Dual Incomes, No Kids.

and the near opposite:

SITCOMs: Single Income, Two (or Three) Children, Oppressive Mortgage.

Anyway, I hope that was more fun for you all than it was for me. Have a great Monday!

47 comments:

Jess said...

Jamaican proctologist~ nice one :)

Steve C said...

Great stuff. And now I got a good new insult, you drunkbooking mouse potato.

I can't think of any writing jokes, so here's a couple more neologisms from Douglas Adams's The Meaning of Liff.

BALLYCUMBER

One of the six half-read books lying somewhere in your bed.

GREAT WAKERING

Panic which sets in when you badly need to go to the lavatory and cannot make up your mind about what book or magazine to take with you.

Anne Gallagher said...

My mother drinks Redneck Lemonade. Shame on her.

I love these, Matt. Great for a Monday.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I resemble the mouse potato...

aspiring_x said...

heeheheheheheeeeehheee!!!!
LOVE IT!
hasbro is my favorite! :)

Creepy Query Girl said...

I loved the Hasbro one too! Too funny!

storyqueen said...

Personally, I love meaniac. I think I know a few...

Shelley

Kelly said...

We used to be DINKs and are now Sitcoms (thanks, hubby!).
I love the word meaniac. My kids say meaner for mean people. They'll be saying meaniac by days end though!

Cynthia Lee said...

I'm from Alabama and I love reintarnation.

Chris Phillips said...

pokemon is great! I've never done drunkbooked before, but I have a friend... yeah... a friend who says he sometimes drunkblogs.

Michael G-G said...

These are funner than a mouse potato drunkbooking the adminisphere.

Yeah, there are a bunch of meaniacs at my kid's middle school. If Karma rules, they'll hopefully end up as frisbeetarians.

Thanks for the happy start to the day, Matt.

L.C. Frost said...

Lol, nice list. My cousins use DINK a lot. They wanted to make a sitcom about a family called the DINKs, actually. Had a good laugh about it after drunkbooking it. :-)

Jessica Bell said...

hahah! These are great!

Old Kitty said...

A Jamaican proctologist!! LOL!!!!!

:-) Take care
x

Carolyn Abiad said...

LOL! I've got a few meaniacs around here.

Lydia K said...

Oh crap. I'm a Mouse Potato.

Man, two weeks in a row and you have me laughing. Excellent.

Thank you for joining in on the Blogfest!

Jeffrey Beesler said...

Funny you should mention Hasbro, Matt. This week I'm calling them to task for what they did to Optimus Prime in the 1980's, and the critical response to their silly move. I mentioned some of this on my post today, but I'm pulling out the big guns on Friday.

Hart Johnson said...

In my insanosphere, we use 'Frunk' for that Facebooking drunk thing... it has the lovely advantage of ALSO being a common typo when typing drunk, thereby proving you ARE in fact frunk...

Love these though! And I had no idea I was a SITCOM... scary, that...

Paul Joseph said...

I found these pretty clever, Matt. Even chuckled a bit. There is a regular at our local B&N known for his redneck beverage fetish - though he uses the free honey packets in lieu of lemons.

Munk said...

You had me at Pokemon.

Christine Fonseca said...

LOL! A Perfect Monday post!

Sara McClung ♥ said...

LOL, I seriously snorted at the Sudafed definition :)

Happy Monday, Matt. Thanks for the giggle!

Laurel Garver said...

These are awesome! It's so hard to pick a favorite, but I can most certainly relate to "mouse potato"! :-)

Artemis Grey said...

Oh I cried laughing when I read these!

Um, does drunkblogging fall under drunk booking? Cause I've so done both...

I can say proudly that I have made redneck lemonade... and it tasted pretty good, if I say so myself...

You totally made Monday just a little more awesome :)

Sophie Li said...

ROFL! I guess I am a 'Mouse Potato' which now makes me a little hungry.

Thanks for the laugh from one of your new 'fans'

Rachna Chhabria said...

I am a mouse potato. Loved the post.

cherie said...

I too am a mouse potato. Gah! Must. Get. Away. From. The. Funnies.

Ok, I can't. I'm having too much fun. Thanks for sharing!

Anita said...

Oh! I'm a total mouse potato.

Steph Sinkhorn said...

Hahahahahahaha, love them :D

Talli Roland said...

Redneck lemonade! That's a new one for me.

Clarissa Draper said...

These are so funny! I'm going to start incorporating them into everyday speech.

Carrie said...

love the redneck lemonade, it reminds me of the South Dakota Martini which is dropping a couple olives in a beer.

Colene Murphy said...

Wait. Did you just call my religion dumb? You get stuck on the roof and wait for an angel to knock you off with a broom or be stuck there forever. How is that dumb?

These were awesome! Loved round two on the funnies!

M Pax said...

lol I love the meaniac and frisbeetarianism. And Adminisphere is very clever.

Melissa Kline said...

Awesome list! :) Thanks for the giggle.

~Melissa

Ella said...

Damn, I'm a mouse potato with drunkbooking tendencies...lol
Funny stuff!

Shari said...

There were some real keepers in there. They made me laugh.

Natalie Aguirre said...

Very funny. Just don't tell my daughter about the lemonade. She used to take all our lemons and do that on occasions when she was younger.

The Red Angel said...

Haha--I loved the Pokemon one. Thanks for sharing, these were definitely LOL-worthy. :)

~TRA

http://xtheredangelx.blogspot.com

Anita said...

Haha. These are great. And yep, I'm a bit of a mouse potato myself today. But it's been fun! Thanks for the laughs. :)

Melissa Bradley said...

Gotta love the drunkbooking and reintarnation. LOL :)

Vicki Rocho said...

LOVE mouse potato! hahahaha

LTM said...

LOL!!! I think I'd heard you talk about the redneck lemonade before... And Meaniac! I like it!!


oh, lawd--Pokemon. BAH!!! *snort*

sudafed. And once I was a dink, now ... still not a SITCOM, thank goodness! Here's hopin~

And thanks for playing! TWICE!!! :D LOL! <3

Rhonda@laugh-quotes said...

Funny stuff. Thanks. Happy blogfest day!

Sarah said...

I'm a total mouse potato, even though I haven't actually used a mouse in a few years. These are funny! You kind of had to do double duty on this blogfest, Matt, but you did a great job.

Teralyn Rose Pilgrim said...

Boy, I hope reintaration doesn't happen to me!

Lisa Gail Green said...

I just want to say that my 8 yr old made Redneck lemonade. She discovered this all by herself (so proud) and asked the waitress for lemons and Splenda. Sigh.