Monday, May 9, 2011

Laughter is the Best Medicine Blogfest

Today I'm taking part in my good bud LTM's writing joke blogfest. Please go here, to find all the other participants.

The idea is to keep it simple, and share some writing related jokes. So here we go (I did not make these up):

Endowment:

A visitor to a certain college paused to admire the new Hemingway Hall that had been built on campus.

"It's a pleasure to see a building named for Ernest Hemingway," he said.

"Actually," said his guide, "it's named for Joshua Hemingway. No relation."

The visitor was astonished. "Was Joshua Hemingway a writer, also?"

"Yes, indeed," said his guide. "He wrote a check."

Doubly Negative:

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."

A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."

Is there a Heaven for a Writer?

A writer died and was given the option of going to heaven or hell.

She decided to check out each place first. As the writer descended into the fiery pits, she saw row upon row of writers chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they were repeatedly whipped with thorny lashes.

"Oh my," said the writer. "Let me see heaven now."

A few moments later, as she ascended into heaven, she saw rows of writers, chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they, too, were whipped with thorny lashes.

"Wait a minute," said the writer. "This is just as bad as hell!"

"Oh no, it's not," replied an unseen voice. "Here, your work gets published."

So there you have it. I'm back in town. Have a great (or at least manageable) Monday!

39 comments:

Ted Cross said...

I like the Russian double-negative part, since I had to go through learning that.

Hmm, the Hell part sounds an awful lot like my current life!

Jessica Bell said...

Quick! take it down before more people drop by!!! lolol :o)

Matthew MacNish said...

So it turns out I'm an idiot, and this blogfest isn't until next week. I'm leaving my post up, though, because it's so annoying when people delete posts they've already published.

Sarah said...

This DID give me a heart attack and sent me scrambling to Lydia's blog to make sure I got the dates right!

Anyway, this post did its job--particularly the double negative joke, which is utterly brilliant.

Thanks, Matt!

maine character said...

It don't matter to me if it's early, it's great.

And hey, you just spent the weekend in Boston, which is all the excuse you need. I went to college there, and so I'm surprised you woke up in the right building and remembered what blog was yours.

Shain Brown said...

Even though its early you brought smiles to a few of our faces. And trust me with the way my work day is heading I am very appreciative for the humor.

aspiring_x said...

hee hee hee! at least you didn't forget it! :)
great jokes! all of them... i especially like the heaven/hell one... except, can they be licorice whips instead in heaven? :P

Matthew MacNish said...

Sorry I screwed this up, Leigh. I'll just have to do another one next week.

A. Lockwood said...

I love these. Thanks for sharing!

Anita said...

The screw-up makes it even funnier, because we've all been there! :)

L.G.Smith said...

Ha! Very funny. And, sorry, I love the screw up. :)

Ishta Mercurio said...

HAHA! I love the one baout hte double negative, and the last one about writing heaven and hell. Awesome! I'll have to pass a link on - thanks for brightening up my morning!

Michael G-G said...

Thanks for the chuckles, Matt. You should feel proud: you are one writer who gets his work in before the deadline! Most editors would kill to get copy a week early. Rock on!

Michelle Merrill said...

Haha. Those were great jokes. Isn't it funny how we write to get money but some people give money to get their name written? Okay, I guess they gave their money for a good cause, but I could write for a good cause too :)

I loved the last joke about being chained to the desks. So true.

Erik said...

Can I go ahead and use these next week?

Tabitha said...

Well, even if the blogfest isn't until next week, thanks for the laughs. Those were pretty funny.

And just think, you get to post *more* jokes next week! ;)

Carolyn Abiad said...

These were cute - but you almost give me a heart attack! I was already thinking what a bad blogger buddy I was for NOT remembering. On the plus side for Leigh/Lydia, extra publicity never hurts. :)

Carolyn Abiad said...

These were cute - but you almost give me a heart attack! I was already thinking what a bad blogger buddy I was for NOT remembering. On the plus side for Leigh/Lydia, extra publicity never hurts. :)

Hannah Kincade said...

I love the last one. :D

Kelly said...

Oh, man. You had me scared for a second. I almost went and revised my post for today.
But even though you were early, I'm glad for the funny on a Monday!

Jess said...

That last one gets me every time :)

ali said...

Those were awesome! What a fun (haha!) blogfest! I hadn't heard #'s 1 and 2 so I really appreciated them!

Talli Roland said...

Hahaha! LOVED the first two!

Laraine Eddington said...

Great jokes. See, timing isn't everything!

Steph Sinkhorn said...

Hahahahaha, nice. I like those :D

Shari said...

I'm glad you got the wrong week. I appreciated the funnies today!

Christina Lee said...

YES-more next week!! *smiles*

Jared Larson said...

HA! The screw up was the best joke of all. Thanks for the laugh, Matt.

Lisa of In Pencil said...

These are fantastic...And I so agree, published posts that are later deleted drive me crazy- I always think I missed out on something good that the author later had misgivings about. It's kind of like when someone brings something up in conversation and then quickly says, "oh, I probably shouldn't talk about this."

Donna Hole said...

Oh man, for a moment I was having a heart attack thinking this was today and I missed it.

Hey Matt, this is a good joke in itself :) Nothing wrong with recycling a good post though.

I had to think about the double positive. I'm slow, but I get there. Loved the Hemingway check too. Well, they were all good.

......dhole

Bethany Elizabeth said...

lol, what a great blogfest! Writers need to laugh about our obsession once and awhile. :)

Old Kitty said...

I should not have worn my corset before reading your post.

Ahem. LOL! take care
x

Lydia K said...

Hey, this was like a sneak preview for next week. Excellent.
:)
I'm glad you didn't take it down.
The double negative one was my favorite!

LTM said...

not reading this not reading this not reading this!!! You'll have to repost it Monday, yes? As in "yay, free day!" *snort* :D <3

LTM said...

oops! Just saw your comment. Or another one would be fine! Your call~ :o) <3

Natalie Aguirre said...

Love the last one. It's funny.

Colene Murphy said...

HA! whoops, but totally amusing either way! Thanks for the snickers!

mmshaunakelley said...

How wonderful to have groups of people I can laugh with about being a writer. I'm usually just laughed at ;)

LTM said...

BAH!!! Wrote a check... *snort* and I've heard that Yeah, Right twice today, and had never heard it before! :D

GAH!!! Here your work gets published. Killing me~

good stuff! And again, thanks for playing twice! ;p