Thursday, August 30, 2012

Jessica Salyer's Current Query

Morning, all you web warriors. We've got the query of a really cool lady up today: Jessica Salyer. Do you know Jessica? She's great. She runs a writing and pulbishing blog at Just Following a Dream, which, ahem, I happen to have been a guest poster at before.

Anyway, here's her query:

Dear Awesome Agent,

Emma Potter believes she’s an average seventeen-year-old girl until an uneventful road trip becomes anything but when a truck blows a tire and slides into her parent’s lane. A collision is inevitable, but the truck flies over the car, leaving it completely unscathed.

Within twenty-four hours, Emma is whisked onto a plane and shuttled halfway across the country to her new home, Potter Valley. She’s required to attend a high school for students with ‘special powers’ like hers, known as Guardians. Countless secrets are revealed, none more troublesome then the prophecy, which dictates that once the three founding Guardian families are reunited, a war will break out. More importantly, the side Emma chooses will win.

Thrust into a world she didn’t know existed, the cause of a war she didn’t fully understand, how can Emma choose which side to fight for? And once the choice is made, how can she defend herself with a power she knows not how to wield, against those who have trained for this confrontation their whole lives.

AWAKENED is a YA paranormal novel complete at xx,xxx words with series potential. I’m an active member of SCBWI. The full manuscript of AWAKENED is available upon your request.

Thank you for you time and consideration.

Jessica Salyer
http://www.JessicaSalyer.blogspot.com

That's it.

Thanks for your continued support, and happy long weekend (to me)!

21 comments:

Sarah said...

I'm already a follower of Jessica's! I'll be back tomorrow to offer some feedback.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I know Jessica as well - she rocks!

Natalie Aguirre said...

I follow Jessica's blog too. Awesome Jessica that you shared what you're working on.

farawayeyes said...

Thanks for sharing Jessica. Can't wait to see what tomorrow brings.

Jessica Bell said...

thanks Matt and Jessica. Off to follow! :)

Melissa Bradley said...

Already follow Jessica. She is fantastic!

Bryan Russell said...

Interesting. Some good elements here, I think. Let's see how Matt squeezes it tomorrow. :)

Ink in the Book said...

Hi Jessica! *waves crazily!*
Her story is amazing, as is her writing. You will fall in love with the writer and her story! Yay!!

Nancy Thompson said...

Yes, I know Jessica! See ya tomorrow.

Jemi Fraser said...

Sounds like an intriguing story!

Michael Offutt, Tebow Cult Initiate said...

I too am intrigued by this query. BTW, I have tagged you with a meme, Mr. MacNish. Before you say, "I don't do memes" note that this one will force you to talk about "The Warrior Monks". That is why I picked you good sir. You need to talk about your book!

Elise Fallson said...

YEAH JESSICA! This is awesome and I'll be back tomorrow for support!! :D

Jessica Salyer said...

*waves* hi guys! ThaNks Matthew for looking at my letter. Can't wait to see what you come up with. Is it the worst you've ever seen? ;)

D.G. Hudson said...

I'm already a follower.

One comment: rhetorical questions always seem superfluous. How does it sound without it?

Will be back to see the Matt's breakdown.

Bill Cokas said...

Congrats on reaching this stage! Couple of thoughts from my query-weary brain:
1. the real conflict (her choice) doesn't appear until paragraph 3
2. I don't get a sense of the consequences if she makes the WRONG choice--what's at stake?
3. lot of passive voice in paragraph 2, making things happen TO Emma more than she's making them happen.
Have you considered floating this out there on the query boards, like on bksp.org, absolutewrite.com or the Query Shark herself?

Matthew MacNish said...

I forgot to mention to save your feedback for tomorrow. But that's all right, Bill has some valid points.

Kimberly Gabriel said...

I'm stopping over at Jessica's blog now. Great premise here! ;) I'll stop back tomorrow to check out Matt's advice!

Jay Noel said...

I'll be intrigued to see the feedback we get on this query.

I'm also more interested to see if anyone comes at it from an agent's perspective as far as the premise of her book.

mshatch said...

cool. I'll be back tomorrow to see what the query master has to say :)

Angela Brown said...

Thanks for sharing the query. Look forward to tomorrow's critique :-)

Livia said...

Ah yes, I've heard of Jessica before! Good critique letter Jessica! :)