tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post7644338374597692580..comments2023-11-06T13:07:23.645-05:00Comments on The Quintessentially Questionable Query Experiment: Jessica Salyer's Current QueryMatthew MacNishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03264738483763244969noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post-36268769998238614892012-11-04T14:32:06.582-05:002012-11-04T14:32:06.582-05:00Ah yes, I've heard of Jessica before! Good cri...Ah yes, I've heard of Jessica before! Good critique letter Jessica! :)Livia Petersonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00059335917756643684noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post-36709118071593962962012-08-30T23:19:38.876-04:002012-08-30T23:19:38.876-04:00Thanks for sharing the query. Look forward to tom...Thanks for sharing the query. Look forward to tomorrow's critique :-)Angela Brownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03324366495151363782noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post-28826512082327649612012-08-30T21:22:04.296-04:002012-08-30T21:22:04.296-04:00cool. I'll be back tomorrow to see what the qu...cool. I'll be back tomorrow to see what the query master has to say :)mshatchhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06308916014310536449noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post-79593086622885060552012-08-30T16:01:54.613-04:002012-08-30T16:01:54.613-04:00I'll be intrigued to see the feedback we get o...I'll be intrigued to see the feedback we get on this query.<br /><br />I'm also more interested to see if anyone comes at it from an agent's perspective as far as the premise of her book.Jay Noelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04757777693161610861noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post-29787893792475989422012-08-30T15:10:09.653-04:002012-08-30T15:10:09.653-04:00I'm stopping over at Jessica's blog now. G...I'm stopping over at Jessica's blog now. Great premise here! ;) I'll stop back tomorrow to check out Matt's advice!Kimberly Gabrielhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05588782441929008886noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post-79998412449526482152012-08-30T14:56:21.180-04:002012-08-30T14:56:21.180-04:00I forgot to mention to save your feedback for tomo...I forgot to mention to save your feedback for tomorrow. But that's all right, Bill has some valid points.Matthew MacNishhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03264738483763244969noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post-54497925885828451452012-08-30T14:53:37.923-04:002012-08-30T14:53:37.923-04:00Congrats on reaching this stage! Couple of thought...Congrats on reaching this stage! Couple of thoughts from my query-weary brain:<br />1. the real conflict (her choice) doesn't appear until paragraph 3<br />2. I don't get a sense of the consequences if she makes the WRONG choice--what's at stake?<br />3. lot of passive voice in paragraph 2, making things happen TO Emma more than she's making them happen. <br />Have you considered floating this out there on the query boards, like on bksp.org, absolutewrite.com or the Query Shark herself?Bill Cokashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16100840155626191109noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post-43020990989430369932012-08-30T13:39:05.914-04:002012-08-30T13:39:05.914-04:00I'm already a follower.
One comment: rhetori...I'm already a follower.<br /><br />One comment: rhetorical questions always seem superfluous. How does it sound without it? <br /><br />Will be back to see the Matt's breakdown.D.G. Hudsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06213237734772028645noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post-73064467117182704402012-08-30T13:12:58.613-04:002012-08-30T13:12:58.613-04:00*waves* hi guys! ThaNks Matthew for looking at my ...*waves* hi guys! ThaNks Matthew for looking at my letter. Can't wait to see what you come up with. Is it the worst you've ever seen? ;)Jessica Salyerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00227752359369023249noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post-33855841329355639472012-08-30T13:06:51.551-04:002012-08-30T13:06:51.551-04:00YEAH JESSICA! This is awesome and I'll be back...YEAH JESSICA! This is awesome and I'll be back tomorrow for support!! :D Elise Fallsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14734537117333738468noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post-42663618961604734442012-08-30T12:48:46.655-04:002012-08-30T12:48:46.655-04:00I too am intrigued by this query. BTW, I have tagg...I too am intrigued by this query. BTW, I have tagged you with a meme, Mr. MacNish. Before you say, "I don't do memes" note that this one will force you to talk about "The Warrior Monks". That is why I picked you good sir. You need to talk about your book!Michael Offutt, Phantom Readerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10557969104886174930noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post-32272919831145257102012-08-30T12:43:05.107-04:002012-08-30T12:43:05.107-04:00Sounds like an intriguing story!Sounds like an intriguing story!Jemi Fraserhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02214408467456320167noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post-25087650592683927812012-08-30T11:18:39.618-04:002012-08-30T11:18:39.618-04:00Yes, I know Jessica! See ya tomorrow. Yes, I know Jessica! See ya tomorrow. Nancy Thompsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05735642863696266005noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post-48682792879483892362012-08-30T11:08:42.788-04:002012-08-30T11:08:42.788-04:00Hi Jessica! *waves crazily!*
Her story is amazing,...Hi Jessica! *waves crazily!*<br />Her story is amazing, as is her writing. You will fall in love with the writer and her story! Yay!!Ink in the Bookhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03117718811407968345noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post-1236935646190424162012-08-30T10:35:02.979-04:002012-08-30T10:35:02.979-04:00Interesting. Some good elements here, I think. Let...Interesting. Some good elements here, I think. Let's see how Matt squeezes it tomorrow. :)Bryan Russellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09555071335245492790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post-39495012117729616512012-08-30T09:41:39.367-04:002012-08-30T09:41:39.367-04:00Already follow Jessica. She is fantastic!Already follow Jessica. She is fantastic!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04443736284850057306noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post-61622262870940867922012-08-30T08:57:00.678-04:002012-08-30T08:57:00.678-04:00thanks Matt and Jessica. Off to follow! :)thanks Matt and Jessica. Off to follow! :)Jessica Bellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10889900730906728317noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post-68356896169097837942012-08-30T08:17:29.638-04:002012-08-30T08:17:29.638-04:00Thanks for sharing Jessica. Can't wait to see ...Thanks for sharing Jessica. Can't wait to see what tomorrow brings.farawayeyeshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17578277501054242356noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post-11346640721981424082012-08-30T06:53:47.146-04:002012-08-30T06:53:47.146-04:00I follow Jessica's blog too. Awesome Jessica t...I follow Jessica's blog too. Awesome Jessica that you shared what you're working on.Natalie Aguirrehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03756087804171246660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post-59363475662296602412012-08-30T06:41:46.879-04:002012-08-30T06:41:46.879-04:00I know Jessica as well - she rocks!I know Jessica as well - she rocks!Alex J. Cavanaughhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09770065693345181702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post-67166614484101337792012-08-30T06:24:23.452-04:002012-08-30T06:24:23.452-04:00I'm already a follower of Jessica's! I'...I'm already a follower of Jessica's! I'll be back tomorrow to offer some feedback.Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06636585111057799728noreply@blogger.com