Announcement, and One Last WFC List.

Good morning, friends (Monday, you can suck it). How is everyone?

So I'm still thinking about all the changes I want to make to my blogging habits, but I do have a new schedule tentatively worked out, for now.

You'll see a new page up there, across the top. Blog Schedule, I think I called it. I published it last week, so I can't remember exactly what it says, but I'll paraphrase it for you, and hopefully I'll be close. Basically I'm going to use Mondays and Fridays as my main blogging days for now. Mondays will be about whatever and Fridays will usually be a query critique, unless I don't have one scheduled. These will also be the days I read your blogs.

I will sometimes post on Wednesday or Thursday (Thursday for query critique intros, Wednesday for other random stuff) but I won't be reading blogs those days. I wish I could, and maybe I'll get back to it more, when I finish these revisions, but right now I have to finish this book. I have an agent waiting on the full, but I told her I want to cut it to a reasonable length first.

So anyway, like I said, nothing is set in stone right now, but that's how it's going to work for the next little while.

Now I want to introduce you to the writers I met at WFC who I haven't had a chance to mention yet.

Rob Ziegler is a friend of several of my friends, and it's funny, because we hung out a few times before I realized that he had a huge book release going on for the con. His novel Seed was the featured release at the Night Shade Books party on Friday night. It was a pretty big deal. I'm reading it now, and it's incredible (blurbed by Paolo Bacigalupi, hello). The only thing that sucks is I never saw Rob after Friday night, so I didn't get my copy signed. you can find Rob at his website, or on Twitter.

Another friend of all my friends (and another Night Shade Books author) Bradley P. Beaulieu is the author of the epic fantasy series: The Lays of Anuskaya. The first book is called The Winds of Khalakovo. I got to hear him read from the second volume, The Straits of Galalesh, and it was very good. If you visit his website, you'll see that his novels have some incredible covers. You can also find Brad on Twitter.

I just happened to end up at Frederic S. Durbin's reading, because some friends were going. I'm glad I did, because the short story he shared with us was very entertaining. Frederic's first novel, Dragonfly, was released by Arkham House in 1999, but he has a new MG novel, The Star Shard, that will be out in February, next year. You can per-order it an Amazon. You can also find Frederic on his website, or his blog.

So that's it. I've got something special coming up later this week, but until then, have a good one!

Sheri Larsen's Current Query Critiqued

All right. Let's do work.

Today is Sheri's query again. I love saying that. Anyway, this time I'm critiquing it, and my thoughts will be in red.

Let's get right to it:

High school is a mishmash of viable energy, I don't understand what this means. Viable energy? Why is it viable? For what purpose and for whom? and if sixteen-year-old ANA TATE I love the spelling of Ana, but you don't have to capitalize character names in a query letter. senses the wrong kind she could lose her mind.

Okay, so I have to say that on the one hand (assuming you mean what I think you mean here) I really love this opening hook and premise. The problem is: I can't be sure that it means what I think it means. After reading on I see that you explain it better in a moment, but you can't leave your opening hook (which is the most important part) vague and ambiguous like this.

Being tomboyish and emotionally I would cut emotionally. I'm not sure it's needed, because being jaded is pretty much always a combo of thoughts and emotions. jaded, that being said, I LOVE the characterization "jaded" gives us. with a secret I think you can cut secret too, it becomes obvious when you describe the power. ability to sense the energy and emotions of others, makes Ana not the best at blending in. Do you see why I added "being" to the front? After a recent encounter with a sinister energy is the energy sentient, or just sinister because of the person it came from? that caused her to panic and pull the fire alarm, damaging the school’s gym floor, she’s shipped off to attend a class for troubled teens at a new prep school. Troubled teens? Reform/prep school? Yes, please. Here, she meets Victor—I would suggest not using em-dashes in query letters. If you can make it work, you're better with HTML than I am. the gorgeous yet irritating campus recluse, you're really good at these one or two word characterization phrases. who stirs her ability like she’s never felt before. Unbeknownst to her, she rouses a curse that hungers for her sanity. Sentient energy, hungry curses. I basically love the rules of the world you're building for us here, but I think you need to explain it better. How does this stuff work? Why would it hunger for her, sanity. Her powers?

Viktor is a Lycan poisoned by psychic Vampire blood. Holy amazeballs. This is getting good. Also: more specific. He’s cursed to feed his sire the sanity of mortals, until one can resist him. And now, his sire wants Ana's sanity. So it's not the curse, but a character. Or is the character the curse? But, Viktor has his own inner demons he's battling and doesn't want to harm her. That doesn't sound like a demon to me. Not even an inner one. That sounds like compassion (or attraction). When he double-crosses his sire, causing more trouble than good, I would cut this, because if Ana ends up surviving all of this, that's actually more good than trouble, in the long run. Ana must accept her abilities and challenge the curse to free Viktor and herself. Only, her quest unearths a family secret and deeper connection to Viktor she didn’t see coming. One that calls for a high payment, found hidden…in the last beat of her heart.

Hmm. So this last "meat of the story" paragraph is really good. High stakes, specific conflict, tough choices. Some minor tweaks could be made, but basically if you made the whole query more like this paragraph, you'd be in great shape.

MARKED BEAUTY, a paranormal romance for young adults complete at 85,000 words, travels beyond the paranormal elements and into the inner struggle of a feisty female lead I might change this to "protagonist." A lead is an actor in a film or play. Not a huge deal though. who finds herself in the midst of a world she never knew she was a part of.

Other than potentially changing that one word, this is a good summary.

I am a published freelance and short story writer. My work can be found in local Maine newspapers--the Town Line Publication, The Two Cent Times, Highlands, and Capital Weekly--and also in Pill Hill Press. I am a member of the Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators, and a moderator for YAlitchat.org—I would cut all these dashes. First of all, you're using double hyphens in some places, and em-dashes in others. Keep it consistent, or even better, cut them all. Commas would work fine here (or a colon for this last one). an online writing community.

Other than the punctuation, great bio.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Okay. So to summarize, I think this query is in decent shape already. It's obvious you've got a unique premise, one that is full of interesting creatures, characters, and powers.

Your query gets better and better as it goes on. Your one big problem is that your hook does not make sense right off the bat, and I think if you could fix that, you'd be off to an excellent start.

I'll give it a try:

Ana Tate is a sixteen-year-old jaded tomboy, but her problems run much deeper than normal high school drama. She can sense the energy and intent of those around her, and if she senses the wrong kind she could lose her mind.

I know, pretty lame, but I think you get the idea. Be more specific, give more information, and don't worry if your "one sentence hook" has to actually be two.

That's it.

What do you guys think? Surely one of you can give a better example of a good opening line for this query, right?

Sheri Larsen's Current Query

Okay. After all the boo-hoo self pity talk from yesterday (all me) it feels good to get back to work. Or, well, to start to get back to work. The real work comes tomorrow when I'll critique Sheri's query (yes I made that rhyme on purpose, I'm cool like that).

For now, if you don't know SALarsen, you need to go visit her blog, Writer's Ally, and become a follower. Do it. Now. We'll wait.

Anyway, today is just for introducing Sheri, and her query letter. Please save your feedback for tomorrow, so I can have a chance for all my thoughts to look original.

The query:

High school is a mishmash of viable energy, and if sixteen-year-old ANA TATE senses the wrong kind she could lose her mind.

Tomboyish and emotionally jaded, with a secret ability to sense the energy and emotions of others, makes Ana not the best at blending in. After a recent encounter with a sinister energy that caused her to panic and pull the fire alarm, damaging the school’s gym floor, she’s shipped off to attend a class for troubled teens at a new prep school. Here, she meets Victor—the gorgeous yet irritating campus recluse, who stirs her ability like she’s never felt before. Unbeknownst to her, she rouses a curse that hungers for her sanity.

Viktor is a Lycan poisoned by psychic Vampire blood. He’s cursed to feed his sire the sanity of mortals, until one can resist him. And now, his sire wants Ana's sanity. But, Viktor has his own inner demons he's battling and doesn't want to harm her. When he double-crosses his sire, causing more trouble than good, Ana must accept her abilities and challenge the curse to free Viktor and herself. Only, her quest unearths a family secret and deeper connection to Viktor she didn’t see coming. One that calls for a high payment, found hidden…in the last beat of her heart.

MARKED BEAUTY, a paranormal romance for young adults complete at 85,000 words, travels beyond the paranormal elements and into the inner struggle of a feisty female lead who finds herself in the midst of a world she never knew she was a part of.

I am a published freelance and short story writer. My work can be found in local Maine newspapers--the Town Line Publication, The Two Cent Times, Highlands, and Capital Weekly--and also in Pill Hill Press. I am a member of the Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators, and a moderator for YAlitchat.org—an online writing community.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

That's it.

Please visit and follow Sheri's blog, say hi to her in the comments, thank her for having the courage to share her query with us, and save your feedback for tomorrow.

Lessons from WFC

Before I get to the bad news, I want to highlight some other writers I met at the Con, who I didn't get photos with, or who don't blog.

• I saw William Alexander on a Kidlit panel that I missed the first half of, because I was at a reading. I thought he was brilliant, but didn't have the balls to introduce myself until the last day. What? I'm shy. Anyway, you can find Will's book at the Goblin Secrets website, or you can check his writer website, or you can follow him on Twitter. I haven't read his book yet or anything, so I can't tell you it was amazing, but the guy had some great philosophies about reading, storytelling, and salamanders.

• Sandra Wickham is actually a friend of Simon's, but I somehow didn't end up with any photos of her (which is a shame, because she's a beautiful lady). More importantly, she's a writer, and an editor for inkpunks.com. I got to talk to her about my book, and hear about some of the short stories she's had published. She was very nice. You can visit Sandra's website, find her on Twitter, or just click through to the inkpunks' site, above. And yes, that photo on Twitter is oh her on the Iron Throne, does it get any cooler?

• Okay, so admittedly I did have a photo or two of Jane Kindred, but I want to mention her again because not only was she very cool, and a friend of several of my friends, but she was on a panel with Charlaine Harris, Nancy Kilpatrick, Kate Elliot, and Malindo Lo, which is a table full of literary rock stars, and Jane absolutely killed it. You cane find Jane on her website, on Facebook, or on Twitter.

All right. That's all the highlights I have time for. I'll try to share some more next week.

Now I have to get to the bad news.

This biggest lesson I took from WFC is that I spend too much time blogging, and don't take my writing seriously enough. Maybe seriously isn't the best word. I do care a lot about my writing, and when I spend time on it I take it very seriously, but the problem is I don't spend enough time on it.

I spend a lot of time every day writing blog posts, and reading and commenting on other blogs. A LOT of time. I love it. I love connecting with other writers. I love helping people with their queries. I love getting comments on topics I care about.

But what I realized at WFC is that it's writing books that really matters. Actually, not so much writing books, but finishing books. Nearly every person I met there was published. Published, or at least involved in publishing in some professional capacity.

I may be a prolific blogger, and I'm not saying blogging hasn't made a huge difference in my life and in my writing career, but it's also taken up a lot of my time that could have been spent writing and revising.

I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet. I'm pretty sure I won't give up on blogging, and I'm not going to stop helping people with their queries, but it's become clear to me that my writing has suffered for the sake of my blogging, and I just can't allow that to continue.

Maybe I'll reduce the days of the week I post. Maybe I'll post every day, but not read and comment on other blogs. Maybe I'll just take a hiatus. I don't know. I have to let myself process it all a bit more, but there is one thing I know: I need to finish this book.

What I Learned at WFC 2011

• A Conference is not a Convention.

A convention like ComicCon or DragonCon can be a lot of fun, because it's mostly a casual gathering of fans, all dressed up, with a few serious panels here and there (this isn't completely true, but I'm trying to illustrate a point here). A conference like WFC (which is technically called a convention, if you look at the website, but I'm changing it, because, again, my point) is a much more serious affair. Almost no one dresses in costume, and everyone is carrying business cards and other promotional materials. Writer, Editor, Agent, every single publishing professional there is well prepared to promote themselves and their work.

I don't have a book to sell yet, so I didn't get any business cards made up or anything. Note to self: next time, come prepared.

• Macallan 10-year-old Cask Strength Scotch is probably the most well crafted and high quality spirit I will ever imbibe.

Maybe it was the company, but when Andrew Smith shared some of this very special Scotch with me and my friends, Simon Larter, Jessica Corra, Sara McClung, and Carolina Miller, it made for the best conversations, and my favorite moments of the Con.

• Neil Gaiman is brilliant.

Yes I met him, briefly. He was eating breakfast with his friends at the table next to Simon and me on the last day, and we took a moment to shake his hand and tell him we loved his work, but I also got to see him speak a few times and have a conversation with Connie Willis (I wasn't stalking, it was a kind of panel), and the man is the perfect character to play a rock star writer. Funny, brilliant, kind and honest, he rocked the Con.

• The San Diego Town and Country Resort.

Is not actually another dimension based on 1972 Miami washed of any color saturation by too much alcohol and sleep deprivation, but it sure as hell seemed like it.

All right. So I could go on about things I learned, but this post is getting too long, and I need to just get to the pictures. Here we go:

If it wasn't for the fact that we only have half of Ricki Shultz's lovely smile, this would be the best photo I have. We had a waitress at the bar take this, and she cut Ricki off (not from booze, from the photo). As far as everyone else, in case you don't know these people, from left to right this is: Kiersten White, Sara McClung, LK Gardner-Griffie, Shannon Messenger, Andrew Smith, Carolina Valdez Miller, me, Derek Molata, Ricki Schultz, and then Simon Larter is squatting in front of us so you can't tell how short he is.

You should recognize Simon and myself (in spite of my ridiculous facial expression) by now, so I'll only link you to Jessica Corra, even though I already did once, above. This was at lunch at Taste of Thai on Saturday.

This is everyone at lunch, the same day. The only person in here I have not linked to yet is Jane Kindred.

This was outside the British Wine and Cheese party on Saturday. It was not as glamorous as it sounds.This is Ricki Schultz, Amber Van Dyk, Alexia Chamberlynn, me, and Holly McDowell.

This is the ladies at the Taste of Thai. You already know who they are, even if you didn't know they could get this happy. It was because of Jess, Simon and me.

Last photo I'm putting up, because I just didn't take that many good ones. In case you can't tell, that's Simon, Ricki, Derek, and me. Simon and I are inebriated. Three sheets to the wind. Drunk as lords. I could go on.

Anyway, that's it for today. I'll try to share a few nuggets of wisdom with you tomorrow as well.