Thursday, November 3, 2011

Sheri Larsen's Current Query

Okay. After all the boo-hoo self pity talk from yesterday (all me) it feels good to get back to work. Or, well, to start to get back to work. The real work comes tomorrow when I'll critique Sheri's query (yes I made that rhyme on purpose, I'm cool like that).

For now, if you don't know SALarsen, you need to go visit her blog, Writer's Ally, and become a follower. Do it. Now. We'll wait.

Anyway, today is just for introducing Sheri, and her query letter. Please save your feedback for tomorrow, so I can have a chance for all my thoughts to look original.

The query:

High school is a mishmash of viable energy, and if sixteen-year-old ANA TATE senses the wrong kind she could lose her mind.

Tomboyish and emotionally jaded, with a secret ability to sense the energy and emotions of others, makes Ana not the best at blending in. After a recent encounter with a sinister energy that caused her to panic and pull the fire alarm, damaging the school’s gym floor, she’s shipped off to attend a class for troubled teens at a new prep school. Here, she meets Victor—the gorgeous yet irritating campus recluse, who stirs her ability like she’s never felt before. Unbeknownst to her, she rouses a curse that hungers for her sanity.

Viktor is a Lycan poisoned by psychic Vampire blood. He’s cursed to feed his sire the sanity of mortals, until one can resist him. And now, his sire wants Ana's sanity. But, Viktor has his own inner demons he's battling and doesn't want to harm her. When he double-crosses his sire, causing more trouble than good, Ana must accept her abilities and challenge the curse to free Viktor and herself. Only, her quest unearths a family secret and deeper connection to Viktor she didn’t see coming. One that calls for a high payment, found hidden…in the last beat of her heart.

MARKED BEAUTY, a paranormal romance for young adults complete at 85,000 words, travels beyond the paranormal elements and into the inner struggle of a feisty female lead who finds herself in the midst of a world she never knew she was a part of.

I am a published freelance and short story writer. My work can be found in local Maine newspapers--the Town Line Publication, The Two Cent Times, Highlands, and Capital Weekly--and also in Pill Hill Press. I am a member of the Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators, and a moderator for YAlitchat.org—an online writing community.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

That's it.

Please visit and follow Sheri's blog, say hi to her in the comments, thank her for having the courage to share her query with us, and save your feedback for tomorrow.

23 comments:

Dianne K. Salerni said...

Hi, Sheri! I can see from the query alone that you've made some changes to this story!

I have a thought about the query, but as directed, I'm holding it back ...

Natalie Aguirre said...

You weren't into self pity yesterday Matt. Just realistic.

Awesome Sheri that you shared your query. Love your story and see you tomorrow.

Old Kitty said...

Booo to Victor's sire! Go Ana and save your Victor! Yay! Take care
x

Kelly Polark said...

Thanks for sharing your query, Sheri. Matthew will whip it into even better shape! Sounds like a cool premise.

Slamdunk said...

I think blogging and some whining are essential (yes, I am guilty).

Looking forward to the feedback on Sheri's letter.

Michael G-G said...

Hi Sheri!! (A new friend from Pay-It-Forward.) I'll be back tomorrow.

LTM said...

LOL at Kitty! :D I'm with her... And yay! Sheri's query! Can't wait to see tomorrow's post~ :o) <3

Angela Brown said...

Thanks so much, Sheri, for allowing all of us a chance to learn and better ourselves by putting yourself out there. That takes guts and spunk. I'm working on finding some of that myself lol!!

Kristen said...

Love the gym floor detail--can't wait to see this!

Bryan Russell said...

Looks interesting. Curious to see the comments...

Talli Roland said...

Ooh! This book sounds very interesting indeed. I'll pop by tomorrow!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I know Sheri! She rocks.

Sub-Radar-Mike said...

Nice one! Glad you're still posting fairly regularly.

Carrie said...

Hey Sheri. Thanks for sharing your query. Sounds like a cool book.

Jessica Bell said...

You brave brave woman, Sheri! I can't bear to put my work up for scrutiny anymore. For some reason it feels worse the more experience you get. Excellent query by the way. And you know what I think of your writing! :o) You should already have an agent!

Elana Johnson said...

Sheri is amazing! Can't wait for tomorrow... *rubs hands together* Mwa ha ha! (Just kidding!)

Michael Offutt said...

You are allowed to have self-pity.

Greetings Sheri!

I look forward to throwing my two cents in :)

Mr. MacNish is truly like his avatar. He is the Yoda of query letters, using the Force to overcome all rejections.

Joshua said...

Hiya, Sheri. I'll be back tomorrow for the crit.

Heaven. said...

Can't wait to see what you say tomorrow.

mshatch said...

I'll be back tomorrow to see what Matt has to say. I read this when it was younger, so to speak...:)

Sarah Ahiers (Falen) said...

oh man, i really hope i remember to come back tomorrow. Stupid yard work needs to get done.
WINTER IS COMING...

Kristen Pelfrey said...

Hi Sheri! I went and followed your blog as per Matthew's directive. I am grateful for the opportunity to learn more about the query process and applaud your hard work in getting this far and having the courage to just put it out there.
I will be back tomorrow.

Christina Lee said...
This comment has been removed by the author.