Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Piedmont Writer's Query for Remembering You

This week I'm going to be sharing Anne Gallagher, AKA Piedmont Writer's current query with you all. It's the query for her Contemporary Women's Fiction WIP REMEMBERING YOU.

If you don't know Anne, please make sure to visit her blog and become a follower.

I'm sure you all remember how this works but if not for today I'll just be sharing the query, so that you all can get an idea of it. Tomorrow I will share my feedback. Please remember to save your own critiques and advice for tomorrow as well.

Before we get to the actual query I want to point out a couple of things. This query has been through the ringer at The Public Query Slushpile. I think this query is quite good as is, and I would never presume to overrule any advice Rick Daley or the folks at the PQS had given a writer, as he is far more experienced and wise than I am, but Anne asked me what I thought, so I had to give it a try.

The other thing is that I (probably obviously) don't read much Women's Fiction so I'm not really qualified to compare this query to what I would expect for other books like it, but queries are sort of universal, so I don't know that that should be a deal breaker.

Anyway on to the query:

When Genna goes home to Rhode Island to spend a long-awaited vacation, she finds that her family is falling apart and she has only twenty-one days to put them back together.

Her new promotion as Executive Chef at the posh Crestwood Country Club in Delaware is a dream job. It’s more than the pay and benefits, she has the chance to achieve what she’s always wanted – her own kitchen – and Genna can’t wait to get started when she returns after her Fourth of July holiday.

However, her vacation is far from relaxing. Two men are vying for her attention, an ex-fiancĂ© who wants to fix the mistakes of the past, and an old school chum who finds her irresistible…and inspires mutual feelings in Genna. Her aunt is also clearly showing signs of mental illness. The family is in denial; her cousins are unable to cope with their mother’s changing behavior and her beloved uncle, dealing with all the stress, has a heart attack.

Genna steps in to keep his diner open and the family together while he recuperates and she questions what’s more important – breaking the glass ceiling or remaining with her family. The clock runs out and Genna finds she is needed at her new job, she is needed by her family, and she is needed by lovers old and new. Now Genna must search her soul to find out what she needs.

So that's it for today. I do have a couple of personal/blogging type announcements to share soon, but I'm probably going to wait until Thursday of this week. Otherwise, in real life, the VP of the client is going to be in the office today, so there won't be much time for me to read and comment on my favorite blogs, sorry for that.

In the meantime please say hello to Anne, and thanks for visiting!


Jessica Bell said...

I like this query. I especially like the last line how we finally see how Genna is going to tend to HERSELF. It's also a pretty clever tactic to only mention that at the end because we get the feeling of all the chaos Genna has to cope with in the meantime. I like it!

Em-Musing said...

I am now a connoisseur of seeing conflict in queries (my shortcoming). Anne did a fantastic job in hers. And yes, I will check her blog out and become a follower.

Lindsay (a.k.a Isabella) said...

I don't read much women's fiction either, but I'm impressed by Anne's query. Looking forward to hearing everyone's suggestions. :)

Old Kitty said...

I like how it starts because I'm asking why has she got exactly 21 days?? Then the conflict unfolds beautifully!!

Lovely! Thanks for sharing!
Take care

Anonymous said...

I like the conflict. Well done. I have a decent understanding of the premise and characters right away.

My one concern is that this reads like a synopsis because of its length. Anne will also have to add a couple paragraphs to this to complete the query letter such as telling the agent about herself and why she selected each particular agent to query (personalize each one).

Will she be able to fit everything on one page with the additional information? This is another concern. So length and reading like a synopsis might be two areas to consider.

Falen (Sarah Ahiers) said...

i like this query a lot. The only thing i see is the first paragraph has a "that" which could be cut. But i'm super sensitive to "thats".
I think the length is great and i'm a big fan of the last line

LTM said...

sounds like an interesting story--will check back tomorrow for response(s). Good luck w/veep~ :o)

Colene Murphy said...

I agree. Like this. I like the way it makes me immediately wonder why she has a time limit and makes me keep reading. Cant wait to see your input!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Anne's awesome! I've followed her blog for a while now.

Candyland said...

The premise sounds intriguing!

Lisa said...

I kind of like this query. Good job explaining the story :)

KarenG said...

I like this. It makes me want to read the book. The only thing I would want to see is a bit of humor, I'd like to know if the ms. is all serious women's fiction drama, or if it has some humor in the voice.

Shelley Sly said...

I would so read this. :D I think this is Anne's best query yet. Thanks for posting!

Piedmont Writer said...

Thanks everyone for your generous comments. I appreciate each and every one.

@Stephen -- it may look long on the post, but I do have my bio and personalized statements at the end of the query and it all fits neatly into one page.

@Karen -- yes, there is humor in the book. I'll have more to say on this tomorrow.

Lisa_Gibson said...

Sounds interesting. I'm intrigued. I'm looking forward to your comments as well.
Lisa ~ YA Literature Lover

Shannon said...

Like others, I don't really read the genre; however, I really like this query!

Melissa said...

This sounds good, I'm interested for sure.