Cheers, Captain Cavanaugh!

Today is the beginning of Mark "Aloha" Koopmans' Cheers Cavanaugh Blogfest. You can find the details, here.

So, we're supposed to answer some questions about Alex. Here they are:

In +/- 20 words, what does Alex look like?

I believe that Alex looks a lot like Geddy Lee, the lead singer of Rush.

In +/- 20 words, who could play Alex in a documentary? (Living or dead.)

Well, as far as I know, documentaries are non-fiction, so I think Alex should play himself, but if he wasn't available, I suppose Daniel Day-Lewis could probably earn an Oscar for his portrayal.

In +/- 20 words, who does Alex remind you of?

Due to his kindness, and how prolific he is in the blogosphere, Alex reminds me of ... me! LOL.

In +/- 40 words, leave a comment for Mrs. Cavanaugh - thanking her for sharing.

Dear Mrs. Cavanaugh, thank you so much for sharing your husband with all us writers! He's the best, most supportive friend any of us could hope for, and we really appreciate you sharing him with us.

We were also supposed to write a piece of flash fiction, which normally I would jump on, but I don't have time today, because of all this:

Also today, my post at YA Confidential is up: (RE: The College Educator Interview) The Answers.

Also, Natalie Aguirre is interviewing one of my favorite author's, Susan Quinn, son today at Literary Rambles.

Also, today is the release date for The Best of Vine Leaves Literary Journal 2012, which I am honored to have a vignette in.

Kim Van Sickler's Current Query Critiqued

Here we go again. Here is Kim's query again, this time with my feedback, in blue.

The letter:

Dear Agent,

(First sentence is personalized to explain why I'm applying to this agent.) Fiddlesticks: Witches Can't Write is a completed 70,000-word upper middle grade urban fantasy.

If you read my query critiques, you know I suggest this housekeeping stuff should go at the end. But I've said it enough times, so I won't harp on it again here. I will briefly say that upper middle grade urban fantasy is not a genre I've ever encountered. Urban Fantasy tends to be dark, gritty, sexy, and violent, and while none of that says you can't write a MG novel set in a fantasy city setting, it does say it's not often done, and may be a somewhat tougher sell because of it.

What's a mortal-loving witch who was born to write do when it's time to pick a career? Not ask rhetorical questions in query letters, for one. For Saryn Q. Fiddlesticks, a 13-year-old preparing to select her Life's Mission, the writing's not on the wall. Wow. Great name. But that said, I'd like a better sense of character. Age and occupation do help, and they're certainly interesting here, but in order to sympathize with Saryn and her plight, we need to know more about what kind of person she is before her story begins. Saryn's options are to let The Academy of Witches and Wizards tell her what to do, go mortal so she can follow her passion, or there's a third option I'm no grammarian, but I believe this is an independent clause, but it's batty.... you only need three dots for an ellipsis. All she has to do is convince The Academy that their superstition against writing is unfounded, persuade them to change the law, and coax them into recognizing a new Life's Mission of Writer. So ... the execution may need a little work, but as far as your premise goes, I love it. Books about characters who want to write always seem to resonate, at least for me.

As if that task isn't impossible enough, Saryn is ambushed by Gaylord Culbreath, another great name. her half-brother's eccentric mentor, who plans to use her to destroy the world. As Saryn battles Culbreath, then the witching establishment at her Coming-of-Age Ceremony, she must decide how far she's willing to go to follow her dream. Vague. What are her options? Write a scathing letter to the editor? Surely she has some ability to fight back other than with the pen?

Future fans of Cynthia Hand's Unearthly Unearthly series might enjoy this book. What? What's a future fan? Also, if you're going to make these comparisons, you don't put them in a one-sentence-paragraph on their own like this. That gives them far more weight than they deserve.

My credits include publication of two MG short story fantasies in the Center for Writing Excellence's Fiction in Five Fiction in Five anthologies. Published works are listed in italics, and sometimes, depending on the type of publisher, like if it's a magazine, the publisher goes in italics as well. I'm not sure about this center, so we'll wait to see what my readers say. I am an active member of SCBWI, and run a blog-- http://swaggerwriters.blogspot.com/ -- of six writers. Does your email client allow you to create hyperlinks in the body of an email? I would suggest that, rather than including the entire URL.

Thank you for taking the time to review (however many pages were requested.) I look forward to hearing from you.

Very truly yours,

Kim Van Sickler

So, in summary: if you dig down, you'll realize this query actually covers my three keys. Character (I would definitely like more of it, but it is there), Conflict (this is actually great, a witch who is not allowed to write, but won't stand for it), and Choice (this is completely vague, especially when it comes to how Nasty-Breath-Man is going to use her, but you do have the beginnings, so all you need to do is get more specific, and expand on this choice). That's an excellent start.

Really, all you need to do is flesh out the things you already have. How does Culbreath instead to use Saryn? Why is she the only one who can help him achieve his goals? What does the rest of her school think of him, whether they know about his plans or not?

You've got the makings of a great query already in place. The skeleton is there, you just need to expand it a little.

That's it.

What do you all think?

Kim Van Sickler's Current Query

Morning. I'm running late, so I'm just going to throw this up. Kim Van Sickler can be found at her group blog: Swagger Writers.

Here's her query:

Dear Agent,

(First sentence is personalized to explain why I'm applying to this agent.) Fiddlesticks: Witches Can't Write is a completed 70,000-word upper middle grade urban fantasy.

What's a mortal-loving witch who was born to write do when it's time to pick a career? For Saryn Q. Fiddlesticks, a 13-year-old preparing to select her Life's Mission, the writing's not on the wall. Saryn's options are to let The Academy of Witches and Wizards tell her what to do, go mortal so she can follow her passion, or there's a third option, but it's batty.... All she has to do is convince The Academy that their superstition against writing is unfounded, persuade them to change the law, and coax them into recognizing a new Life's Mission of Writer.

As if that task isn't impossible enough, Saryn is ambushed by Gaylord Culbreath, her half-brother's eccentric mentor, who plans to use her to destroy the world. As Saryn battles Culbreath, then the witching establishment at her Coming-of-Age Ceremony, she must decide how far she's willing to go to follow her dream.

Future fans of Cynthia Hand's Unearthly series might enjoy this book.

My credits include publication of two MG short story fantasies in the Center for Writing Excellence's Fiction in Five anthologies. I am an active member of SCBWI, and run a blog-- http://swaggerwriters.blogspot.com/ -- of six writers.

Thank you for taking the time to review (however many pages were requested.) I look forward to hearing from you.

Very truly yours,

Kim Van Sickler

That's it!

Please thank Kim for sharing, and save your feedback for tomorrow.

Reading Rainbow

Thank you, Geordi, for everything you've done for us.

Unexpected Predictions

Welly well, it's December now, all of a sudden, so it's time to talk about the biggest film of the year.

I remember when Fellowship of the Ring first came out, and I was so nervous. On the one hand, I was very excited to see my favorite story of all time turned into a live action film, but on the other, I was very apprehensive, concerned they would ruin it. They didn't. It's not perfect, but the Peter Jackson adaption of the trilogy is probably the greatest adaptation ever done.

Now I'm nervous and curious to see what they do with The Hobbit.

As you all know, they've decided to turn this one into a trilogy as well. That's going to be difficult. With LOTR, it was easy to keep it to three films: there were three books, there was plenty of material, and while they had to make long films, and cut only some important things like Tom Bombadil, the Barrow-Wights, Sharkie, Glorfindel, Aragorn's cousins, and so on, it all worked within the medium. At least it did for me.

So anyway, today I'd like to discuss what the good folks at Wingnut will be doing with the story from The Hobbit, and how they'll be expanding it into three films, including what they might cut, what they might expand on, and where the first movie will end.

First, let's cover the obvious: the one big thing that is mentioned in the book (and hinted at in other Middle Earth volumes), but never actually fully covered, is what the heck Gandalf is off doing while Bilbo and the Dwarves are traversing Mirkwood. Well, anyone who knows their Tolkien (like Ted or Deniz) can tell you that Gandalf was off evicting the "necromancer" from Dol Guldur, for the White Council. I don't know how they could fit this into the new trilogy of films, but I'd be interested to see it if they do.

Other than that, I can't think of any major plot elements that are known to fans, but not really covered in the book. From looking at the cast list and other info at IMDB, we can guess at some other things. I had originally heard that the fabulous Benedict Cumberbatch, of Sherlock fame, would be playing the voice of Smaug, but now it seems he's playing the Necromancer, so I think we can safely assume this first film will not take us all the way to the lonely mountain. I mean, it makes sense, right? If the first movie goes all the way to the end of the book, what the heck do you put in the next two films?

Also, we can see that there is no Legolas, no Aragorn, and no Arwen, but there is a Radagast the Brown, who I have always wanted to hear more about, so we shall see where that takes us.

Furthermore, the subsequent films in the trilogy appear to have titles now, which can tell us a bit more: The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug, is the second film, and the third will be called The Hobbit: There and Back Again.

So, I will predict that this first film ends before they even enter Mirkwood. Perhaps around the time they meet Beorn (if they don't skip that whole bit), but certainly after they escape the goblins and Bilbo tricks the ring away from Gollum. If they cover some of the side story, and follow Gandalf when he's gone, I could easily see that being enough content to make an entire film.

It seems to me the second movie would then cover Mirkwood, Lake-Town, the lonely mountain, and probably fit in with the ending of the book, The Battle of the Five Armies.

Then, perhaps the third film will be about the journey home.

Obviously I could be wildly out of touch with all of this, but it sure is fun to think about. What do you predict we'll get to see in these movies? What are you most looking forward to finding out?