Thursday, August 7, 2014

Stephen Tremp's Current Query

Today we have Stephen Tremp's query letter for a new novel.

Query Letter

Dear [Agent Name], I am writing you because according to _______ you are a big fan of mystery suspense thriller genres featuring average characters in extraordinary circumstances. My 80,000-word novel, Murcat Manor, inspired by the mischievous nocturnal cats in my parents’ one hundred year old house, is one I hope you will also become passionate about.

Bob Stevens has plenty to worry about.

When Bob and Debbie Stevens lose their idyllic jobs, home, and savings, the only opportunity left to rebuild their lives is to open Murcat Manor. It's one of the few bed and breakfasts in the region, set on twenty five rural acres in the rolling hills of southwestern Michigan. Legends of curses, ghosts, and nineteen deaths from two burned down houses once occupying the land do not diminish their dreams of raising a family while earning a living.

But Bob has unforeseen conflicts far beyond his ability to manage. A belligerent mother-in-law who co-signed the three million dollar loan on Murcat Manor wants him to relinquish his interest. Thirteen psychotic killer cats, possessed by souls of disembodied daughters of witches hung at the Salem Witch Trials, are killing his guests. Before long, two local detectives want to arrest him for the murders.

Thirteen kittens, found in the burned out rubble from the previous farm house, had seemed like the perfect pets to keep their guests company. But the Stevens soon learn these are no ordinary cats, and the cycle of terror and murder begins again with each new wave of guests.

Murcat Manor will appeal to readers of the mystery, thriller, suspense, and paranormal genres.
Or .....
Murcat Manor will appeal to fans of Dean Koontz, Stephen King, and Jeffery Deaver.

I have a B.A. in information systems and an MBA in Global Management. With a background in information systems, management, and finance, I can draw from my varied and complex experimental knowledge to write one of a kind thrillers. Merging science and the supernatural is my specialty.

I have previously written and published The Breakthrough Trilogy: The Adventures of Chase Manhattan, that have been in Barnes and Nobles and Borders Books across the country with 10,000 physical sales and downloads in part to countless book signings and relentless marketing on my behalf. Please view my Media Kit for more information, at:

I write a blog where my focus is science, science fiction, writing, and promoting. I have also taught at online schools and symposiums.

Thank you in advance for your consideration and I look forward to hearing from you soon. I have included the first ten pages. The entire manuscript is available upon request.

That's it.

Please thank Stephen for sharing this with us, and save your feedback for tomorrow!


Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Look forward to your comments!

mshatch said...

me too!

Stephen Tremp said...

Thank you Matthew for posting my query letter for Murcat Manor! This is actually far more fun and far less terrifying than I thought it would be.

Dianne K. Salerni said...

Well this is an interesting premise! I look forward to reading Matt's advice tomorrow.

Sarah Ahiers said...

Yay! Query critiques again!

Anonymous said...

Hi, Matthew. Stopped by to check out Stephen's query letter.

Michael Offutt, Phantom Reader said...

I like it, but it may need some trimming. I think Stephen putting in the amount of work he does promoting things himself will look really nice. He's obviously not someone that just expects a Big Five publisher to do everything. But what do I know?

Stephen Tremp said...

Thanks Michael for the input. I was wondering about that. I see a lot of fat I can trim off the last half regarding myself. An agent can get much of that should they decide to click the link to my Media Page, which I need to seriously work on this weekend.