Unicorns and False Hope - Part II

First of all I must say that the show of support yesterday was incredible. You people (writers) are amazing and the level of understanding and solidarity that you brought to this topic was both uplifting and inspiring. I have really learned a lot since those clumsy old query days and it means a lot to me that we can look back and laugh at this stuff together.

The second half of this post may make you laugh as well. More likely it will make you scratch your head and say, huh? Hopefully it won't make you cry.

If you missed the first half of this epic tale for some crazy reason you can find it here.

Moving right along here is my continued correspondence with agent (editor?) X:

Dear REDACTED,

First of all let me just say thank you very much for having an interest in my work. It is very exciting to have an opportunity to share my narrative voice with a professional in the industry. I am attaching an .rtf file which includes the first three chapters of my book as well as the intro/prologue chapter and a few title pages. I have edited it so that it complies with your requests (except that the title pages are still single spaced because they look really awkward otherwise).

I'm not sure how or if the rules apply to this kind of situation, but normally you don't send title pages to an agent. Not at first. I'm just sayin.

I do want to warn you about a couple of things. First of all this story is very long but one of the main pieces of advice that I am seeking is whether I should rewrite it into two separate books (which could easily be done), or whether I should try to cut this story down to a more marketable size, or perhaps if you think it is good enough to sell as is. Secondly I would like to point out that two of the first three chapters are flashback chapters which, though important for introducing the reader to the protagonist, do not develop the plot and may need to be edited so that they are not so long. If you would like to see the three chapters that occur after these, in which the plot really begins to develop, please let me know and I will send you those instead. Another thing is that the fantasy elements (magic, fright away. I did not want you to think that I categorized this story into the wrong genre just to get you to offer to read it.

This is strange. I mean this is poorly written and certainly proves to my now more experienced mind that my MS was not ready to be read by agents, but the odd thing is that from the things I was saying it looks like an editor is exactly what I was looking for. Funny.

Other than that I really look forward to hearing your opinion about the story, the characters and the writing and I really appreciate you taking the time to give my project a look.

Thank you,

Matthew

Her honest (and most normal) reply:

Mr. Rush,

Thank you so much for considering REDACTED Literary Services. Having reviewed your manuscript and deliberating over the possible target markets for it, we have determined that your project would be better suited to a larger agency. We wish you the absolute best of luck placing this manuscript elsewhere but are certain you will have no difficulty with that.

Incidentally, everyone here who read it felt this would be a good fit for either a television series or possible script for movie. You might want to look into that.

Thanks again for considering us and have a beautiful week!

Always Sincerely,
REDACTED

This is pretty cool I suppose looking back. I mean it does make it clear that she was not the wolf in sheep's clothing of an editor masquerading as an agent that she first appeared to be. She also has some good points about the larger agency for such a long MS but I'm not sure about the TV/Movie comments. I mean sure, I love the story, and I think it probably could work in those mediums, but how could she possibly know for sure after reading only 3 chapters?

And where the hell am I going to learn how to write a screenplay?

I wrote back to her, clumsily:

Dear REDACTED,

Thank you very much for taking the time to review my project. I appreciate your honesty and do believe that you are probably right. I have certainly thought about the film and television possibilities and think that my story would probably make a great anime like Naruto or Avatar. I have decided though that I would like it to be published as a novel first. However, most of the large new york agencies have rejected my project based on a short query letter alone, and without having read any part of the manuscript. I do have a couple of other smaller agencies who are currently reading partials but if I cannot get an offer of representation from anyone I may contact you again in the future just to seek your advice about what my other options might be. Thanks again for your consideration and for taking the time to read the part of my book that I sent you.

Thank you,

Matthew

And this is where things got weird.

Her reply:

Matthew,

Thanks for understanding. Anytime you need help with your manuscript, we'd love to do it when time permits of course. I'll shop the concept and see what we get. If anything comes up on this end, I'll let you know. Until then, just keep trying. You have a very descript writing voice. The language and imagery is lovely. I think the beginning is a bit long and might need some trimming. The verbage could use a little tweaking as well, but over all, your story is really good. We feel here that with a little clean up and the proper presentation the work could easily be marketed. You just keep working on it, and we're sure something wonderful will happen for you.

Thank you again for thinking of us and feel free to submit anything anytime.

Always,
REDACTED

Looking back now it is not QUITE as strange as it sounded at first, but this is still not normal. A reputable agent does not "shop the concept" before offering representation to a writer. They offer to represent you based on their passion for the story and writing and THEN they convince editors to love it as they do. Shopping the concept to see if it will sell first is not professional, not allowed by the AAR and just kind of underhanded.

That may not be what she meant. Reading the entire paragraph now it seems as though she meant she would consider it again, after heavy revision, but the wording is not very clear. One thing that is of course wonderful is that she had some very nice things to say about my writing, which was encouraging then and is encouraging still ... I'm just not sure exactly how to feel about it since it's not clear exactly what her motives might have been or what kind of agent/editor she was.

Looking back now I get the feeling that she was just a brand new agent just getting started out in her own agency at the time. She probably also did not have much experience working as an assistant or intern at any real agencies. Who knows how she came to the decision to try her hand at being an author's literary representative.

Needless to say I'll be looking to work with more experienced agents once I begin querying my novel again.

So what do you guys think? Is this what you expected? What would you have done had you experienced this kind of thing at my level of ignorance? What would you do now?

Leave your thoughts in the comments and more importantly don't forget to come back tomorrow for Elana Johnson's actual query for CONTROL ISSUES.