Thursday, November 3, 2016

Colleen Fackler's Current Query

Today we have Colleen Fackler's query for her current PB project GOOD GUY MEETS SCHMOOSH.

Here's the letter:


Below is Good Guy Meets Schmoosh, my 500-word picture book for your consideration.

Good Guy Meets Schmoosh is the heartwarming story of Guy, a young boy who is rewarded by his parents for his consistently moral behavior with the opportunity to purchase a puppy. On his way to the pet store, Guy spots a stray dog that he cannot stop thinking about, even once faced with puppies galore. His mom, initially concerned with the potential danger associated with rescuing a dog, is hesitant to introduce Guy to a stray, but soon realizes that Guy wants nothing more than to save Schmoosh from a lonely life on the streets.

Each year, of the 7.5 million animals that even make it into rescue shelters, 2.7 million are euthanized. A stigma of poor upbringing and therefore danger and illness is often associated with rescuing a homeless animal. Families often opt to buy puppies or kittens from breeders instead. Good Guy Meets Schmoosh aims to kick this reputation to the curb.

Good Guy Meets Schmoosh is my first children’s book. I am 30 years old, I just had my first child in July, and I have worked in the media industry for 12 years. I have been published in the form of editorials, church bulletins, and work-related POV’s, but I always only written poetry as an outlet. As a rescue dog mom myself, if the success of this book saves even just one homeless animal’s life, it was worth my time.

This is a multiple submission. I truly look forward to your feedback and I thank you kindly for your review and consideration.


Colleen M. Fackler


On a little city street,
Where buses would pass by,
Lived a young and stellar lad
Whose parents named him Guy.
He always did the right thing
Or at least he’d try,
And when his neighbors would see him, they’d wave
And say, “there goes that Good Guy!”
Because their son behaved so well
His parents finally agreed
Guy could pick out a dog of his choice
Any age, any breed!
Guy decided that getting a puppy
Would surely make him content.
So on a cloudy Saturday,
Off to the pet store they went.
As they waited at a light,
Guy began to stare
At a dog he’d seen before
With no owner to care.
It appeared he had no tags
A blanket, but no bed.
And by the looks of his frailty
He clearly hadn’t been fed.
“I think that dog could use some help
Could you pull over Mom, please?”
“I think we better keep going, Guy.
That dog could have a disease.”
They drove along and Guy did try
To forget the dog on the street
Instead he tried to focus on
The puppies he would meet!

That's it!

Please thank Colleen for sharing this with us, and save your feedback for tomorrow.


mshatch said...

I think the first two paragraphs are good (this said from someone who has NEVER written a PB or a query for one). I'd get rid of the lines about this being your first book, recent birth, and that you've only written poetry before. They don't need to know that. I'd include the rest but what is work related POVs? As far as I know POV stands for Point of View so maybe clarify that. I'd also delete the line about multiple submission since that's usually a given these days, unless the agent specifically wants to know. Finally I might say, As a rescue dog mom myself, it's my hope that this book will encourage more people to adopt homeless pets and show what great additions to the family they can be - or something like that.

Hope this helps!

Susan Kane said...

My gr-daughters have had 2 rescue dogs, loved them all. Shelby lived a long happy life, as is Portia, who is failing. they will head to the shelter once more.