Thursday, June 12, 2014

Tracey Neithercott's Current Query

Tracey is awesome. She's one of my co-authors at YA Confidential, and she's great with graphics like at The Kindness Project.

Here is her query:

Dear Agent TK,

[TK personalized introduction]

Seventeen-year-old Syna Karras knows there’s no such thing as murder. It’s 2055, and thanks to the software embedded in everybody’s minds, criminals are arrested before they commit a crime. Which is why Syna should believe her father died of natural causes.

But she doesn’t.

Not when the autopsy reveals his healthy heart abruptly stopped beating. Not when her father raised her on stories of serial killers of the past, slipping gruesome details into dinnertime conversation. And not when he left behind top-secret government files with blacked-out phrases and a warning of danger.

When a family friend dies in the same mysterious way as her father, Syna’s convinced murder is as real as the slice of a knife across soft flesh. She’ll do whatever’s necessary to take down the man who stole the most important person from her life—even team up with arrogant ex-best friend Linden Pearce to gain access to files his father, the Secretary of Defense, might have hidden. They have to work fast, because more people are dying, people who have a connection to her dad. And with the killer aware of her investigation, Syna could be next.

Complete at 79,000 words, ABERRATION is science fiction without the dystopia, set in a Minority Report–like world. It will appeal to fans of sci-fi mysteries such as Across the Universe by Beth Revis, All Our Yesterdays by Cristin Terrill, and The Adoration of Jenna Fox by Mary E. Pearson. I’m a journalist with ten years of writing under my belt. My work has appeared in magazines such as Prevention, AARP, Capitol File, Philadelphia Style, and Diabetes Forecast.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

That's it!

Please thank Tracey in the comments, and save your feedback for tomorrow.

7 comments:

Tracey Neithercott said...

Thanks for posting my query, Matt! I will commence my 48-hour drinking binge while I await your comments. Bottoms up!

Sarah Ahiers said...

I'll be back tomorrow!

Richard Hughes said...

'Which is why Syna should believe her father died of natural causes.' First off, this is not a sentence; I'm not sure you should take these liberties in a query letter. Secondly, I don't see how it relates to the previous two sentences.

'Not when the autopsy reveals his healthy heart abruptly stopped beating. Not when her father raised her on stories of serial killers of the past, slipping gruesome details into dinnertime conversation. And not when he left behind top-secret government files with blacked-out phrases and a warning of danger.' Again, these are not sentences; maybe I'm being too picky.
'

'ABERRATION is science fiction without the dystopia,' Why not just say it's science fiction and leave out the 'without the dystopia'?

' set in a Minority Report–like world' I'm not sure what a Minority Report-like world is. Maybe literary agents will know, but it means nothing much to me.

I would re-work this query if I were you.

Katy Upperman said...

Yay! I'm glad you shared, Trace! And for the record, this story is InCrEdIbLe.

Alison Miller said...

Yes to what Katy said! LOVE this story!

Robyn Lucas said...

This sounds fabulous! I'd totally read it.

Dianne K. Salerni said...

Hello Tracey! I'll be back to read Matt's feedback and share my own thoughts.