Yes, I know it's Wednesday. I have to put this critique up tomorrow, because the Oh How I Miss You Blogfest is Friday, so there.
Today we have Jessica Foster's query for her YA Fantasy, BONDED. You can find, and follow, Jessica at her blog.
Back? Here's the query:
Dear [awesomesauce agent]:
Falling in love is the worst thing sixteen-year-old mage Kadren could do. He is imprisoned by a vile king determined to harness his fire magic. Escape should be the only thing on his mind, but within days of his capture, the voice of Brelina, a water mage and fellow prisoner, fills his head. They’ve Bonded—forever linked mind and soul, their every thought, every emotion, every experience entwined.
Brelina is as delicate and innocent as a wisp of smoke, with a stubborn streak that drives him mad. Born a slave, she doesn’t know any different life. She worships the king and believes he has every right to order the mages beaten or killed, but Kadren cannot suppress his fascination for her.
She refuses to leave the safety of her captivity, and even though Kadren can command fires with whispers, he can do nothing to change her mind. Only an idiot would remain a slave for a girl, so Kadren escapes without her.
His plans slam to a gut-twisting halt when the king rapes Brelina. Tortured with guilt for not being there to protect her, Kadren races back to save her and swears to kill the king for what he has done. But there’s one problem: the king has a secret that makes him impossible to kill.
Kadren and Brelina are trapped and his assassination attempt only succeeds in enraging the king. Once again, Brelina is endangered by Kadren’s rash actions. If he cannot figure out the king’s secret, the threat to her will only increase. Being Bonded to him may very well be the death of her.
BONDED is a YA Fantasy complete at 74,000 words. It will appeal to fans of character-driven fantasies such as Kristin Cashore’s GRACELING and has a magic system that will be sure to please fans of Brandon Sanderson’s MISTBORN series. It is a standalone novel with series potential.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Jessica Foster
That's it!
Please thank Jessica for sharing her query with us, but save your feedback for tomorrow!
10 comments:
Good luck with your critique tomorrow, Jessica!
Thanks for posting my query!
I'll be back tomorrow for sure to see what Matt and everyone else has to say :)
Can't wait to see what the King of Queries has to say. :D
Yay brave Jess for doing this.
When I read how old the protagonist was, I heard that Taylor Swift song playing in my head "Fifteen and someone tells you they love you, don't believe them and if you're..."
Can't wait to read what Matt has to say. See ya tomorrow!
I can already see one thing you'll say. Will be back tomorrow to see if I'm right.
Hmm...a few interesting things here. I'll be back tomorrow.
Heyy...I'm going to stalk this page tomorrow.
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