Friday, November 30, 2012
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Author Guest Post for Jessica Bell
I'd really appreciate it if you all would check the post out, because it was a tough one to write - perhaps somewhat controversial, but hopefully eyeopening for all. I've left comments open here, but you should leave one over there if you have something to say.
Monday, November 26, 2012
The Trouble with Vacation
I just had nine days off in a row. And the best part? I only had to use 3 vacation days to make it happen. It was a blissful break, and one much needed and well earned. I ate a lot of great food, rested hard, rocked the family time, and got a decent amount of writing done.
The problem is that this morning I arrived at the office to find 1500 emails waiting for me (that is not an exaggeration). Funny thing is, I'm actually glad to get back into the swing of things.
Happy Monday, QQQEers.
Monday, November 19, 2012
Big Audio Tunage
I'm not really here, because I'm on Vacation, but you can find me at Project Mayhem this morning, sharing one of my favorite holiday songs. If you like Radio Clash, you'll probably dig it.
Friday, November 16, 2012
Oh How I Miss You Blogfest!
It's here! The brainchild of Andrew Leon, like any blogfest, it's not going far without the power (and the linky list account) of Alex J. Cavanaugh, Ninja Captain of the good ship Blogosphere. The third co-host, Matthew MacNish, was brought in for his good looks and great taste. Wait. That sounded wrong.
Anyway ...
The bloggers we really miss…
and the ones we would really miss!
Do you have a couple blogger buddies who aren’t posting as often? Those who’ve pulled back and seem absent from the blogging world? Do you have blogger buddies you are grateful they are still around and would miss if they vanished? Now is your chance to show your appreciation and spotlight them!
List one to three bloggers you really miss and one to three bloggers you would miss if they stopped blogging. Then go leave a comment on those blogs.
Our blogger friends are special – time to let them know!
The bloggers I miss:
Candace Ganger, AKA Candyland Gang, AKA Bethany, AKA The Jaded Wonder. Candace is one of my dearest friends, which is awesome, considering we've never met. She does still blog occasionally, but when I first started out, she was blogging every day, and every single post was a gut-splitting wealth of inspiration, tears, laughter and awkward hugs. I miss your posts almost as much as I miss you, Beth.
Kaye Em Evans. I still keep up with Kaye on Facebook, so it's all good, but I do miss her blog posts. She was another of the first blogs I ever started reading, and her posts were always fun and insightful.
The World in Miniature. This one is kind of cheating, because Bryan actually still blogs, and his cartoons are hilarious, but I really miss the flash fiction feature he used to do, and while I know his career has taken off in the last couple years, and he probably has very little time for blogging, I would love to see more flash fiction on his blog again. I guess I better write some.
The bloggers I would miss:
Katie Mills AKA Creepy Query Girl. Katie is one of my favorite bloggers. I feel like we've been through the trenches together. We both started out around the same time, and became friends quickly, but then we've both been through our share of rejections. Katie is a fighter though, and a talented writer, so as long as she doesn't give up, I know I never will.
Adam Heine. Adam is the Mastermind of Nerd-dom. I know of no better chart-maker, and sometimes it seems like Adam and I may have been separated at birth. I mean how could someone I've never met, who lives on the opposite side of the world, love exactly all the same things I love, and with the same passion? It doesn't seem possible.
Susan Quinn. Susan is the smartest lady I know. Literally. She's a rocket scientist, and she's the most successful self-publishing entrepreneur I know. Her posts on publishing, and craft, are particularly well thought out, researched, and presented. I don't know what I'd do without Susan.
Don't forget to visit everyone involved:
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Jessica Foster's Current Query Critiqued
Wow. Thanks to everything falling apart for our UK client this morning, I'm just getting to this at 8:30. Sorry.
So here's Jessica's query again, this time with my feedback, in blue.
The letter:
Dear [awesomesauce agent]:
Falling in love is the worst thing sixteen-year-old mage Kadren could do. He is imprisoned by a vile king determined to harness his fire magic. Escape should be the only thing on his mind, but within days of his capture, the voice of Brelina, a water mage and fellow prisoner, fills his head. They’ve Bonded—forever linked by? in? mind and soul, their every thought, every emotion, every experience entwined.
Hmm. Your opening has several good things going for it. For one: mages. For another: elemental magic. These are both cool things, but they've also been done. Furthermore, the bonding is a pretty good hook, but before you get to the hook, you should start with character. We know Kadren is a mage, which is cool, and tells us a bit about him, and we know his element is fire, from which we can infer a few things, but what kind of person is he? What is his character before his story starts?
Brelina is as delicate and innocent as a wisp of smoke, with a stubborn streak that drives him mad. Born a slave, she doesn’t know any different life. She worships the king and believes he has every right to order the mages beaten or killed, but Kadren cannot suppress his fascination for her.
This is a good bit of backstory, that also clues us into the world, but you might not need so many words to say this. The only important points here are that Brelina is a slave, and she worships the king. Try to be more succinct. Maybe you can include those points when you first introduce her.
She refuses to leave the safety of her captivity, and even though Kadren can command fires with whispers, he can do nothing to change her mind. Only an idiot would remain a slave for a girl, so Kadren escapes without her.
His plans slam to a gut-twisting halt when the king rapes Brelina. Whoa. Okay. That's pretty powerful. Tortured with guilt for not being there to protect her, Kadren races back to save her and swears to kill the king for what he has done. But there’s one problem: the king has a secret that makes him impossible to kill.
Maybe end with a sadistic choice. Kadren must decide whether to sacrifice his life needlessly, or allow the king to continue in his abuses. Or, you know, something better.
Kadren and Brelina are trapped and his assassination attempt only succeeds in enraging the king. Once again, Brelina is endangered by Kadren’s rash actions. If he cannot figure out the king’s secret, the threat to her will only increase. Being Bonded to him may very well be the death of her.
I don't think you need this last bit at all. You've already hooked us at this point.
BONDED working titles are great in queries, and this is a good one, but just be aware that a book with this title was just published. is a YA Fantasy complete at 74,000 words. It will appeal to fans of character-driven fantasies such as Kristin Cashore’sGRACELING Graceling (working titles of unpublished works go in ALL CAPS, but published works are in italics) and has a magic system that will be sure to please fans of Brandon Sanderson’s MISTBORN Mistborn series. It is a standalone novel with series potential.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Jessica Foster
Okay. In summary, this one is tough. You hit all the points: Character, Hook, Conflict, Stakes, and even though your Choice is only implied, it's there. And yet, it feels like something is missing. Or maybe it's just that's too much here.
Try to focus on the three most important elements: Character, Conflict, Choice.
Who is Kadren? Well, he's a fire mage, and he's probably a pretty nice guy, but we need to know more about who he is, what kind of person, before we can sympathize with him, and care whether he overcomes his plight.
What is the conflict he must overcome? Well, the main thing is rescuing his lover, Brelina. Obviously the stakes are raised by the bonding, the rape, and her opinion of slavery, and those are important points, but the main conflict is the rescue, or the lack thereof.
What is his sadistic choice? Well, this one is hard. If the king is immortal, he can't simply kill him and save the girl. But he can't let her continue to be mistreated, either. He could sacrifice himself needlessly by trying to kill the king anyway, but I have a feeling he doesn't do that.
This query is already in pretty decent shape. You've got all the elements you need; I think you just need to re-work it a little, so it packs more punch, and is a bit more focused.
That's all.
What do you all think?
So here's Jessica's query again, this time with my feedback, in blue.
The letter:
Dear [awesomesauce agent]:
Falling in love is the worst thing sixteen-year-old mage Kadren could do. He is imprisoned by a vile king determined to harness his fire magic. Escape should be the only thing on his mind, but within days of his capture, the voice of Brelina, a water mage and fellow prisoner, fills his head. They’ve Bonded—forever linked by? in? mind and soul, their every thought, every emotion, every experience entwined.
Hmm. Your opening has several good things going for it. For one: mages. For another: elemental magic. These are both cool things, but they've also been done. Furthermore, the bonding is a pretty good hook, but before you get to the hook, you should start with character. We know Kadren is a mage, which is cool, and tells us a bit about him, and we know his element is fire, from which we can infer a few things, but what kind of person is he? What is his character before his story starts?
Brelina is as delicate and innocent as a wisp of smoke, with a stubborn streak that drives him mad. Born a slave, she doesn’t know any different life. She worships the king and believes he has every right to order the mages beaten or killed, but Kadren cannot suppress his fascination for her.
This is a good bit of backstory, that also clues us into the world, but you might not need so many words to say this. The only important points here are that Brelina is a slave, and she worships the king. Try to be more succinct. Maybe you can include those points when you first introduce her.
She refuses to leave the safety of her captivity, and even though Kadren can command fires with whispers, he can do nothing to change her mind. Only an idiot would remain a slave for a girl, so Kadren escapes without her.
His plans slam to a gut-twisting halt when the king rapes Brelina. Whoa. Okay. That's pretty powerful. Tortured with guilt for not being there to protect her, Kadren races back to save her and swears to kill the king for what he has done. But there’s one problem: the king has a secret that makes him impossible to kill.
Maybe end with a sadistic choice. Kadren must decide whether to sacrifice his life needlessly, or allow the king to continue in his abuses. Or, you know, something better.
I don't think you need this last bit at all. You've already hooked us at this point.
BONDED working titles are great in queries, and this is a good one, but just be aware that a book with this title was just published. is a YA Fantasy complete at 74,000 words. It will appeal to fans of character-driven fantasies such as Kristin Cashore’s
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Jessica Foster
Okay. In summary, this one is tough. You hit all the points: Character, Hook, Conflict, Stakes, and even though your Choice is only implied, it's there. And yet, it feels like something is missing. Or maybe it's just that's too much here.
Try to focus on the three most important elements: Character, Conflict, Choice.
Who is Kadren? Well, he's a fire mage, and he's probably a pretty nice guy, but we need to know more about who he is, what kind of person, before we can sympathize with him, and care whether he overcomes his plight.
What is the conflict he must overcome? Well, the main thing is rescuing his lover, Brelina. Obviously the stakes are raised by the bonding, the rape, and her opinion of slavery, and those are important points, but the main conflict is the rescue, or the lack thereof.
What is his sadistic choice? Well, this one is hard. If the king is immortal, he can't simply kill him and save the girl. But he can't let her continue to be mistreated, either. He could sacrifice himself needlessly by trying to kill the king anyway, but I have a feeling he doesn't do that.
This query is already in pretty decent shape. You've got all the elements you need; I think you just need to re-work it a little, so it packs more punch, and is a bit more focused.
That's all.
What do you all think?
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Jessica Foster's Current Query
Yes, I know it's Wednesday. I have to put this critique up tomorrow, because the Oh How I Miss You Blogfest is Friday, so there.
Today we have Jessica Foster's query for her YA Fantasy, BONDED. You can find, and follow, Jessica at her blog.
Back? Here's the query:
Dear [awesomesauce agent]:
Falling in love is the worst thing sixteen-year-old mage Kadren could do. He is imprisoned by a vile king determined to harness his fire magic. Escape should be the only thing on his mind, but within days of his capture, the voice of Brelina, a water mage and fellow prisoner, fills his head. They’ve Bonded—forever linked mind and soul, their every thought, every emotion, every experience entwined.
Brelina is as delicate and innocent as a wisp of smoke, with a stubborn streak that drives him mad. Born a slave, she doesn’t know any different life. She worships the king and believes he has every right to order the mages beaten or killed, but Kadren cannot suppress his fascination for her.
She refuses to leave the safety of her captivity, and even though Kadren can command fires with whispers, he can do nothing to change her mind. Only an idiot would remain a slave for a girl, so Kadren escapes without her.
His plans slam to a gut-twisting halt when the king rapes Brelina. Tortured with guilt for not being there to protect her, Kadren races back to save her and swears to kill the king for what he has done. But there’s one problem: the king has a secret that makes him impossible to kill.
Kadren and Brelina are trapped and his assassination attempt only succeeds in enraging the king. Once again, Brelina is endangered by Kadren’s rash actions. If he cannot figure out the king’s secret, the threat to her will only increase. Being Bonded to him may very well be the death of her.
BONDED is a YA Fantasy complete at 74,000 words. It will appeal to fans of character-driven fantasies such as Kristin Cashore’s GRACELING and has a magic system that will be sure to please fans of Brandon Sanderson’s MISTBORN series. It is a standalone novel with series potential.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Jessica Foster
That's it!
Please thank Jessica for sharing her query with us, but save your feedback for tomorrow!
Today we have Jessica Foster's query for her YA Fantasy, BONDED. You can find, and follow, Jessica at her blog.
Back? Here's the query:
Dear [awesomesauce agent]:
Falling in love is the worst thing sixteen-year-old mage Kadren could do. He is imprisoned by a vile king determined to harness his fire magic. Escape should be the only thing on his mind, but within days of his capture, the voice of Brelina, a water mage and fellow prisoner, fills his head. They’ve Bonded—forever linked mind and soul, their every thought, every emotion, every experience entwined.
Brelina is as delicate and innocent as a wisp of smoke, with a stubborn streak that drives him mad. Born a slave, she doesn’t know any different life. She worships the king and believes he has every right to order the mages beaten or killed, but Kadren cannot suppress his fascination for her.
She refuses to leave the safety of her captivity, and even though Kadren can command fires with whispers, he can do nothing to change her mind. Only an idiot would remain a slave for a girl, so Kadren escapes without her.
His plans slam to a gut-twisting halt when the king rapes Brelina. Tortured with guilt for not being there to protect her, Kadren races back to save her and swears to kill the king for what he has done. But there’s one problem: the king has a secret that makes him impossible to kill.
Kadren and Brelina are trapped and his assassination attempt only succeeds in enraging the king. Once again, Brelina is endangered by Kadren’s rash actions. If he cannot figure out the king’s secret, the threat to her will only increase. Being Bonded to him may very well be the death of her.
BONDED is a YA Fantasy complete at 74,000 words. It will appeal to fans of character-driven fantasies such as Kristin Cashore’s GRACELING and has a magic system that will be sure to please fans of Brandon Sanderson’s MISTBORN series. It is a standalone novel with series potential.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Jessica Foster
That's it!
Please thank Jessica for sharing her query with us, but save your feedback for tomorrow!
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Jessica Bell: Show and Tell in a Nutshell
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| Click to add me to Goodreads! |
In Show & Tell in a Nutshell: Demonstrated Transitions from Telling to Showing you will find sixteen real scenes depicting a variety of situations, emotions, and characteristics which clearly demonstrate how to turn telling into showing. Dispersed throughout, and at the back of the book, are blank pages to take notes as you read. A few short writing prompts are also provided.
Not only is this pocket guide an excellent learning tool for aspiring writers, but it is a light, convenient, and easy solution to honing your craft no matter how broad your writing experience. Keep it in the side pocket of your school bag, throw it in your purse, or even carry it around in the pocket of your jeans or jacket, to enhance your skills, keep notes, and jot down story ideas, anywhere, anytime.
If you purchase the e-book, you will be armed with the convenient hyper-linked Contents Page, where you can toggle backward and forward from different scenes with ease. Use your e-reader's highlighting and note-taking tools to keep notes instead.
The author, Jessica Bell, also welcomes questions via email, concerning the content of this book, or about showing vs. telling in general, at showandtellinanutshell@gmail.com
Reviews:
“Jessica Bell addresses one of the most common yet elusive pieces of writing advice—show, don't tell—in a uniquely user-friendly and effective way: by example. By studying the sixteen scenes she converts from “telling” into “showing,” not only will you clearly understand the difference; you will be inspired by her vivid imagery and dialogue to pour through your drafts and do the same.” ~Jenny Baranick, College English Teacher, Author of Missed Periods and Other Grammar Scares
“A practical, no-nonsense resource that will help new and experienced writers alike deal with that dreaded piece of advice: show, don’t tell. I wish Bell’s book had been around when I started writing!” ~Talli Roland, bestselling author
Purchase the paperback:
$4.40 on Amazon US
£3.99 on Amazon UK
Purchase the e-book:
$1.99 on Amazon US
£1.99 on Amazon UK
$1.99 on Kobo
About the Author:The Australian-native contemporary fiction author and poet, Jessica Bell, also makes a living as an editor and writer for global ELT publishers (English Language Teaching), such as Pearson Education, HarperCollins, Macmillan Education, Education First and Cengage Learning.
She is the Co-Publishing Editor of Vine Leaves Literary Journal, and co-hosts the Homeric Writers’ Retreat & Workshop on the Greek Isle of Ithaca, with Chuck Sambuchino of Writer’s Digest.
For more information about Jessica Bell, please visit:
Website
Blog
Monday, November 12, 2012
Don't Forget: Oh How I Miss You!
Right?
There is, actually, of course, no such unwritten rule, but it would be cool to have a hundred, don't you think?
I do. So here's your reminder:
Do you have a couple blogger buddies who aren’t posting as often? Those who’ve pulled back and seem absent from the blogging world? Do you have blogger buddies you are grateful they are still around and would miss if they vanished? Now is your chance to show your appreciation and spotlight them!
On November 16, list one to three bloggers you really miss and one to three bloggers you would miss if they stopped blogging. Then go leave a comment on those blogs.
Our blogger friends are special – time to let them know!
Sign up below:
Friday, November 9, 2012
Marcy Hatch's Current Query Critiqued
Wow. It's Friday, but this damn phone still won't stop ringing. I'll try to get this up as soon as I can.
Anyway, here is Marcy's query again, this time with my feedback, in blue.
The letter:
Dear Agent:
The last thing 17-year(-)old Kassandra Dyer I immediately think of Mara Dyer when I read this name. remembers is falling. Hmm. On the one hand, this opening is intriguing, because it's mysterious, but on the other, it's vague. Who is Kass? Where did she fall from? How far was the drop? Mystery is great, but it doesn't really have a place in most queries. The one thing I will always insist on when I critique queries, is Character. Sure, I've seen great queries that break that rule and work, but the best thing to hook a reader into any story, even one barely summarized in a query letter, is to give them a person to care about. Who was Kass before this story started, and why should we care whether she overcomes whatever is thrown at her? When she wakes up in the dark it’s hours later and somehow she has miraculously survived a fall that should’ve killed her. Stranger still is the fact that no one is looking for her. After all, she’s a missing teen. There should be helicopters and flood lights sweeping the desert. Towers Mountain should be crawling with searchers. The rest of this paragraph? Pretty effing awesome. The strange circumstance you've thrown this character into is an excellent hook. Who wouldn't want to find out what the hell happened here?
Kass knows something is terribly wrong, but it isn’t until she reaches the closest town that the diary in her backpack and a newspaper in a diner reveal the truth: The unsolved disappearance of Kassandra Dyer was a big event – em-dashes--don't use them in queries if you can possibly avoid it--one of the most noteworthy events the town of Cave Creek, Arizona has ever seen. But it happened ten years ago – and for Kass, dressed in the same clothes she wore on the day she fell, no time has passed at all. The rest of this is all pretty good too, but I would maybe consider adding the part about it being ten years, to the part about her disappearance being in the newspaper. I assume the article is there that day because it's the tenth anniversary? If so, just be specific and say that. It actually would get the point across much quicker, which is always great in queries.
Now Kass has to figure out what happened; how she fell, where she went and what it will take to get back home – if she can. If she even wants to.
The good news is she’s got somebody on her side. I'm so undecided about this. This being YA, I'm assuming this is a boy her age, so in one sense I want to know a teeny bit about him, like maybe his name, and if he is, in fact, a boy her age. That said, this query is working pretty damn well with all the mystery you've got going, so I really can't decide. The bad news is she’s got someone else on her tail, someone who wants her story and will do whatever it takes to get it. Same goes for the bad guy, but I'm actually more okay with him being a mystery than the friend.
THE UNSOLVED CASE OF KASSANDRA DYER, a crossover YA YA is usually followed by a genre. I get that this is crossover, but as some were curious about yesterday, a crossover between what and what? Mystery and Romance? Sci-Fi and Fantasy? Magical Realism is great, but it's kind of a genre and it kind of isn't. with elements of Magic Realism, is complete at 70,000 words. I have pasted the first x pages per your requirements.
Thank you very much for your time.
Sincerely,
Marcy Hatch
Man. This one is hard. One the one hand, it suffers from what I always call most query's biggest problem: vagueness, but on the other: it kind of works, because in spite of the fact that the query kind of lacks what I would normally want to see, it still entices me to want to read the pages. I'm really on the fence about what to tell you to do here.
I think if your pages are good, then this query is going to work fine for agents who allow you to include them in the body of your email letter.
The problem is those agents who don't allow pages in the body. I mean sure, this query is still good enough, and mysterious enough, that some of them will probably ask for partials, because let's face it, this is pretty good. But you don't want pretty good, you want really good. So let's see if we can take this good query, and make it great.
First, I would change your opening sentence. Kass is 17, which is upper YA, so she's going to have a pretty well defined personality long before she falls through this magical realism wormhole, so give some insight into what kind of person she is. Even one or two adjectives can go a long way.
Second, decide whether you want to name or describe anyone else. If the friend is a boy with potential for romance, which would be common for YA, then I think you should consider naming and describing him, but I also don't think you absolutely have to. I can see it working either way.
Thirdly, I would try to reword the second paragraph. It's a little clunky, a little wordy, and could be tightened up for clarity.
Finally, a word about em-dashes. I love em-dashes, I used them all the time in novels. But they don't work very well in query letters. If this was the 90s, and we were still printing and snail mailing our queries in, you'd be fine, but email clients can do funny things to advanced formatting like em-dashes. Try emailing a rich text email from gmail to your work, or from your work to yahoo, and you'll see what I mean.
Now, if you must have em-dashes, do them right. There are no spaces on either side of an em-dash. If you want to represent an em-dash with simple formatting, use a double hyphen, like--this. The double hyphen method is how I would suggest formatting an em-dash in a query, if you can't figure out a way to skip them. But, if you don't want that ugly character in your letter, make sure you use a real em-dash (CTRL+ALT+Minus on the 10-key), not a space--hyphen--space. In MS Word, it looks like this:
That's it!
Sorry for going off. I'm not sure I've ever explained my aversion to the em-dash in query letters fully before. I hope it helps.
Now, what do you all think? Isn't this query already pretty good? Do you agree with my suggestions? You certainly don't have to!
Happy Friday! May your weekend bring good food and drink, and may all your teams win at sports, unless they're playing against mine.
Anyway, here is Marcy's query again, this time with my feedback, in blue.
The letter:
Dear Agent:
The last thing 17-year(-)old Kassandra Dyer I immediately think of Mara Dyer when I read this name. remembers is falling. Hmm. On the one hand, this opening is intriguing, because it's mysterious, but on the other, it's vague. Who is Kass? Where did she fall from? How far was the drop? Mystery is great, but it doesn't really have a place in most queries. The one thing I will always insist on when I critique queries, is Character. Sure, I've seen great queries that break that rule and work, but the best thing to hook a reader into any story, even one barely summarized in a query letter, is to give them a person to care about. Who was Kass before this story started, and why should we care whether she overcomes whatever is thrown at her? When she wakes up in the dark it’s hours later and somehow she has miraculously survived a fall that should’ve killed her. Stranger still is the fact that no one is looking for her. After all, she’s a missing teen. There should be helicopters and flood lights sweeping the desert. Towers Mountain should be crawling with searchers. The rest of this paragraph? Pretty effing awesome. The strange circumstance you've thrown this character into is an excellent hook. Who wouldn't want to find out what the hell happened here?
Kass knows something is terribly wrong, but it isn’t until she reaches the closest town that the diary in her backpack and a newspaper in a diner reveal the truth: The unsolved disappearance of Kassandra Dyer was a big event – em-dashes--don't use them in queries if you can possibly avoid it--one of the most noteworthy events the town of Cave Creek, Arizona has ever seen. But it happened ten years ago – and for Kass, dressed in the same clothes she wore on the day she fell, no time has passed at all. The rest of this is all pretty good too, but I would maybe consider adding the part about it being ten years, to the part about her disappearance being in the newspaper. I assume the article is there that day because it's the tenth anniversary? If so, just be specific and say that. It actually would get the point across much quicker, which is always great in queries.
Now Kass has to figure out what happened; how she fell, where she went and what it will take to get back home – if she can. If she even wants to.
The good news is she’s got somebody on her side. I'm so undecided about this. This being YA, I'm assuming this is a boy her age, so in one sense I want to know a teeny bit about him, like maybe his name, and if he is, in fact, a boy her age. That said, this query is working pretty damn well with all the mystery you've got going, so I really can't decide. The bad news is she’s got someone else on her tail, someone who wants her story and will do whatever it takes to get it. Same goes for the bad guy, but I'm actually more okay with him being a mystery than the friend.
THE UNSOLVED CASE OF KASSANDRA DYER, a crossover YA YA is usually followed by a genre. I get that this is crossover, but as some were curious about yesterday, a crossover between what and what? Mystery and Romance? Sci-Fi and Fantasy? Magical Realism is great, but it's kind of a genre and it kind of isn't. with elements of Magic Realism, is complete at 70,000 words. I have pasted the first x pages per your requirements.
Thank you very much for your time.
Sincerely,
Marcy Hatch
Man. This one is hard. One the one hand, it suffers from what I always call most query's biggest problem: vagueness, but on the other: it kind of works, because in spite of the fact that the query kind of lacks what I would normally want to see, it still entices me to want to read the pages. I'm really on the fence about what to tell you to do here.
I think if your pages are good, then this query is going to work fine for agents who allow you to include them in the body of your email letter.
The problem is those agents who don't allow pages in the body. I mean sure, this query is still good enough, and mysterious enough, that some of them will probably ask for partials, because let's face it, this is pretty good. But you don't want pretty good, you want really good. So let's see if we can take this good query, and make it great.
First, I would change your opening sentence. Kass is 17, which is upper YA, so she's going to have a pretty well defined personality long before she falls through this magical realism wormhole, so give some insight into what kind of person she is. Even one or two adjectives can go a long way.
Second, decide whether you want to name or describe anyone else. If the friend is a boy with potential for romance, which would be common for YA, then I think you should consider naming and describing him, but I also don't think you absolutely have to. I can see it working either way.
Thirdly, I would try to reword the second paragraph. It's a little clunky, a little wordy, and could be tightened up for clarity.
Finally, a word about em-dashes. I love em-dashes, I used them all the time in novels. But they don't work very well in query letters. If this was the 90s, and we were still printing and snail mailing our queries in, you'd be fine, but email clients can do funny things to advanced formatting like em-dashes. Try emailing a rich text email from gmail to your work, or from your work to yahoo, and you'll see what I mean.
Now, if you must have em-dashes, do them right. There are no spaces on either side of an em-dash. If you want to represent an em-dash with simple formatting, use a double hyphen, like--this. The double hyphen method is how I would suggest formatting an em-dash in a query, if you can't figure out a way to skip them. But, if you don't want that ugly character in your letter, make sure you use a real em-dash (CTRL+ALT+Minus on the 10-key), not a space--hyphen--space. In MS Word, it looks like this:
That's it!
Sorry for going off. I'm not sure I've ever explained my aversion to the em-dash in query letters fully before. I hope it helps.
Now, what do you all think? Isn't this query already pretty good? Do you agree with my suggestions? You certainly don't have to!
Happy Friday! May your weekend bring good food and drink, and may all your teams win at sports, unless they're playing against mine.
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Marcy Hatch's Current Query
Brrr! The one and only nice thing about rising before the break of dawn is getting a good look at the night sky while I take my dog out to pee. The moon was about a quarter-nail this morning, and still hung low in the east, but the stars were bright, and shone like frost in the firmament.
Or maybe it was just the ice on my windshield.
Ahem. Now, we have a query from one of my favorite bloggers. If you don't know Marcy, you're definitely missing out. Her and Dianne's first impressions are some of my very favorite posts. You can find Marcy's blog at Mainewords.
Here's her query:
Dear Agent:
The last thing 17-year old Kassandra Dyer remembers is falling. When she wakes up in the dark it’s hours later and somehow she has miraculously survived a fall that should’ve killed her. Stranger still is the fact that no one is looking for her. After all, she’s a missing teen. There should be helicopters and flood lights sweeping the desert. Towers Mountain should be crawling with searchers.
Kass knows something is terribly wrong, but it isn’t until she reaches the closest town that the diary in her backpack and a newspaper in a diner reveal the truth: The unsolved disappearance of Kassandra Dyer was a big event – one of the most noteworthy events the town of Cave Creek, Arizona has ever seen. But it happened ten years ago – and for Kass, dressed in the same clothes she wore on the day she fell, no time has passed at all.
Now Kass has to figure out what happened; how she fell, where she went and what it will take to get back home – if she can. If she even wants to.
The good news is she’s got somebody on her side. The bad news is she’s got someone else on her tail, someone who wants her story and will do whatever it takes to get it.
THE UNSOLVED CASE OF KASSANDRA DYER, a crossover YA with elements of Magic Realism, is complete at 70,000 words. I have pasted the first x pages per your requirements.
Thank you very much for your time.
Sincerely,
Marcy Hatch
That's it.
Please save your feedback for tomorrow, and thank Marcy for sharing her query with us!
Or maybe it was just the ice on my windshield.
Ahem. Now, we have a query from one of my favorite bloggers. If you don't know Marcy, you're definitely missing out. Her and Dianne's first impressions are some of my very favorite posts. You can find Marcy's blog at Mainewords.
Here's her query:
Dear Agent:
The last thing 17-year old Kassandra Dyer remembers is falling. When she wakes up in the dark it’s hours later and somehow she has miraculously survived a fall that should’ve killed her. Stranger still is the fact that no one is looking for her. After all, she’s a missing teen. There should be helicopters and flood lights sweeping the desert. Towers Mountain should be crawling with searchers.
Kass knows something is terribly wrong, but it isn’t until she reaches the closest town that the diary in her backpack and a newspaper in a diner reveal the truth: The unsolved disappearance of Kassandra Dyer was a big event – one of the most noteworthy events the town of Cave Creek, Arizona has ever seen. But it happened ten years ago – and for Kass, dressed in the same clothes she wore on the day she fell, no time has passed at all.
Now Kass has to figure out what happened; how she fell, where she went and what it will take to get back home – if she can. If she even wants to.
The good news is she’s got somebody on her side. The bad news is she’s got someone else on her tail, someone who wants her story and will do whatever it takes to get it.
THE UNSOLVED CASE OF KASSANDRA DYER, a crossover YA with elements of Magic Realism, is complete at 70,000 words. I have pasted the first x pages per your requirements.
Thank you very much for your time.
Sincerely,
Marcy Hatch
That's it.
Please save your feedback for tomorrow, and thank Marcy for sharing her query with us!
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
State of Projects
I was inspired by my good friend Adam's post yesterday, to take stock of my writing, so that I can feel good about what I have accomplished, and stop worrying about what I haven't (yet). Go read his post, first, because Adam is awesome, and you should never miss out on his blog.
Now, here are where things stand for me:
WARRIOR-MONKS: A YA Rural Fantasy, the query for which you've probably read. The first manuscript I ever finished, the one that taught me how to actually write (novels) and took up nearly four years of my life with joy, pain, elation, and enlightenment. This book is essentially shelved. It does still have a full out with one agent, and there are a few queries un-replied to, but I'm ready to move on.
RUNNING FROM RUBY RIDGE: A YA Contemporary Thriller. The draft is 95% done, and then it will be on to revision. I don't want to give too much away, so I'll just say that writing your second manuscript is so much easier than your first. Sure, it will be like 8-9 months by the time I'm done with this one, but that sure beats years. After a round or two of revisions, it will be off to critique partners.
SECRET PROJECT: A MG project of undisclosed genre. I can't talk about this one yet, but I've been brainstorming it for a while now, and I have over 10,000 words of outlines, character sheets, plot notes, and other sundry details. Hopefully when this is done and sold, it will finally justify my membership at the group blog: Project Middle Grade Mayhem.
SUPERBAD KICKASS (not the actual working title): A YA Non-Super-Hero Comedy. This is just an idea, really. I have some character sketches, but they're still quite thin and loose. I don't even know what's supposed to happen in the story yet. This is something I plan on collaborating on with one of my favorite people in the world. She knows who she is.
In addition to all these novel-length manuscripts (or dreams of manuscripts), I have a bunch of short fiction that is published in various venues. Most of you have probably already read it (and one story needs to be re-published, because it got taken down), but I'll give you a brief summary here, in case any of today's visitors are new readers:
The Deafening Silence: a bit of adult Memoir, published in the anthology: Literary Foray, from Static Movement Press. You can read it for free, at The World in Miniature.
Babysat by the Man in the Moon: a bit of MG Memoir/Fiction crossover, unpublished. You can read it for free, at The World in Miniature.
Dragon on my Back: a bit of adult Horror, published in the anthology: Literary Foray, from Static Movement Press. This one is temporarily unavailable online.
Lake Argo: a bit of adult Fantasy published in Vine Leaves Literary Journal Issue One. You can read it online for free, at that link.
Cubic: a bit of adult Humor/Horror, published at Underneath the Juniper Tree.
Other than all that stuff, if you simply can't get enough of me (yeah right) there are several links to interviews, guest posts, and other non-fiction stuff on my Creative Writing Page.
Now, this post has certainly gone on long enough, don't you think? In the spirit of disclosure, why don't you share about a project of yours in the comments? If you're not ready, you can certainly ask me about any of mine.
Finally, big day today. If you haven't: VOTE!
Now, here are where things stand for me:
WARRIOR-MONKS: A YA Rural Fantasy, the query for which you've probably read. The first manuscript I ever finished, the one that taught me how to actually write (novels) and took up nearly four years of my life with joy, pain, elation, and enlightenment. This book is essentially shelved. It does still have a full out with one agent, and there are a few queries un-replied to, but I'm ready to move on.
RUNNING FROM RUBY RIDGE: A YA Contemporary Thriller. The draft is 95% done, and then it will be on to revision. I don't want to give too much away, so I'll just say that writing your second manuscript is so much easier than your first. Sure, it will be like 8-9 months by the time I'm done with this one, but that sure beats years. After a round or two of revisions, it will be off to critique partners.
SECRET PROJECT: A MG project of undisclosed genre. I can't talk about this one yet, but I've been brainstorming it for a while now, and I have over 10,000 words of outlines, character sheets, plot notes, and other sundry details. Hopefully when this is done and sold, it will finally justify my membership at the group blog: Project Middle Grade Mayhem.
SUPERBAD KICKASS (not the actual working title): A YA Non-Super-Hero Comedy. This is just an idea, really. I have some character sketches, but they're still quite thin and loose. I don't even know what's supposed to happen in the story yet. This is something I plan on collaborating on with one of my favorite people in the world. She knows who she is.
In addition to all these novel-length manuscripts (or dreams of manuscripts), I have a bunch of short fiction that is published in various venues. Most of you have probably already read it (and one story needs to be re-published, because it got taken down), but I'll give you a brief summary here, in case any of today's visitors are new readers:
The Deafening Silence: a bit of adult Memoir, published in the anthology: Literary Foray, from Static Movement Press. You can read it for free, at The World in Miniature.
Babysat by the Man in the Moon: a bit of MG Memoir/Fiction crossover, unpublished. You can read it for free, at The World in Miniature.
Dragon on my Back: a bit of adult Horror, published in the anthology: Literary Foray, from Static Movement Press. This one is temporarily unavailable online.
Lake Argo: a bit of adult Fantasy published in Vine Leaves Literary Journal Issue One. You can read it online for free, at that link.
Cubic: a bit of adult Humor/Horror, published at Underneath the Juniper Tree.
Other than all that stuff, if you simply can't get enough of me (yeah right) there are several links to interviews, guest posts, and other non-fiction stuff on my Creative Writing Page.
Now, this post has certainly gone on long enough, don't you think? In the spirit of disclosure, why don't you share about a project of yours in the comments? If you're not ready, you can certainly ask me about any of mine.
Finally, big day today. If you haven't: VOTE!
Monday, November 5, 2012
YA Confidential
I'm over at YAC today, writing about a book I just finished. I'll leave comments open here, in case anyone has problems with disqus, but really, you should just head over.
Friday, November 2, 2012
Liza Salerno's Current Query Critiqued
Morning, QQQE Massive. Sorry I'm so late getting this up, but I had to drop the kidlets off at school this morning, and then I had to take the Honda home, and pick up the Ford, because the Honda's radiator was smoking.
Ahem. Anyway, here is Liza's query again, this time with my feedback, in blue.
The letter:
Dear Agent,
Fourteen-year-old Melanie Foss is sick of family secrets. Normally, I would say I like this, but when I glance down at your housekeeping paragraph, I worry that this opening sentence is going to make agents think upper MG or lower YA.
Her single mother Bethany refuses to discuss her past other than to admit she was voted Honeydew Queen in Virginia in 1974, but skipped town as soon as she received the crown. This is interesting, and I like the idea of this character's backstory, but I'm concerned that some agents would stop reading at this point. You only have a few lines to grab their attention, and so far, we don't know who your story is actually about, or why we should root for them. I'll say more about queries for books with multiple POVs, in a minute.
When Melanie’s eighth grade social studies teacher assigns a genealogy project worth half her grade, she makes up her family story, a project that creates a crack in the wall her mother has built around her former life. Melanie discovers more when Bethany, diagnosed with a serious illness, enlists the aid of Harrison, a grandfather Melanie has never met. With his support, mother and daughter relocate to Bethany’s hometown; Wait, what? I thought this was going to be a story about the genealogy project, and how it unearthed skeletons from the family closet? If they move away, why would she even continue with the assignment? And conversely, why would they move in the first place? Surely it can't be only to research this project? I'm sure this plot element makes sense in the book, but in the query, you've got very little room to convey the story, so you've got to make absolutely certain everything progresses logically from one point to the next. keeping their presence hidden from Old Meredith, Bethany’s controlling mother, until an accident brings them together and circumstances force a reluctant Bethany to agree to move back to her childhood home. As far as content goes, I really like all the elements here. Family drama, and family secrets, and hiding from family is all intriguing, entertaining stuff, but the execution here continues to follow the problems of this query. There are a lot of characters, and a lot of twists, but we still don't know whose story it is, or what the actual main conflict is going to be.
There, Melanie stumbles upon a clue leading her to initiate a clandestine introduction to the man she assumes is her father. Their disastrous meeting triggers the revelation of a heartbreaking mystery What mystery? You can be specific and just tell us. That's fine in a query. surrounding Bethany’s long ago flight, a tale that alienates Melanie from her mother. Why? Again, be specific. Vagueness is your number one enemy in a query. A shocking loss Vague compounds the teen’s resentment until Old Meredith realizes history has repeated itself. To keep the relationship between her daughter and granddaughter intact, she must decide whether to share the reason behind her own demanding behavior, which she employs to hide a crushing tragedy of her own. Okay, I like the sense I get of the stakes building to high levels, but the problem here is that we're left wondering what actually happens, what the secrets are, and how any of it justifies such a dysfunctional family.
HONEYDEW EVER AFTER (93,000 words), a work of women’s fiction, is written in three points of view, alternating between Melanie, Bethany and Old Meredith. Okay, let me talk about multiple POVs, and how to tackle them in a query. Basically: don't. I mean it's fine that you mention it here, it your housekeeping stats and details, and I certainly think that story format fits for the tale you appear to be telling, but writing the meat of the query in such a way that it tries to focus on more than one character rarely works.
I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm sure it's been done, and done well, but I've never read a query that worked better focusing on multiple characters than it could have been by focusing on one. Try to consider who the main main character is. Is it Melanie? Is it Bethany? It certainly doesn't seem to be old Meredith.
The point is, the best queries open with a character, and characterize that character in such a way that the reader immediately sympathizes with them, and cares about whether they achieve their goals in overcoming whatever conflict they're thrown into.
I am a freelance writer and have been published inBoston Globe Magazine Boston Globe Magazine, Adoptive Families Magazine Adoptive Families Magazine, South Shore Living Magazine, SouthShoreLiving.com and WritersDigest.com. I'm not going to edit every one of these publications, but the point is published works, and the titles of the publications they've appeared in, go in italics in query letters. In addition, I authored a monthly column for a local publication, the Cohasset Mariner. HONEYDEW EVER AFTER is my first novel. There's no need to mention this. If you don't bring up other novels, it's assumed this is your first, but there's no need to bring it up.
Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely,
Liza Salerno
So, in summary, my biggest problem with this query is its lack of focus on a character. I would argue that this query would work best if it focused on Melanie, and her investigations into her family's past. Introduce us to her right away, show us what kind of person she is before the story starts, and make us care about her.
When it comes to plot, and conflict, you've got a lot of cool elements, and I think it's clear there is a great story underneath this query, but it's hard to tell what actually happens. You don't necessarily want to give away all your twists, or the ending, but otherwise you should be as specific and as open in a query as possible. Give us the details, so we know exactly why this family fell apart the way it did, and so that we can understand why it's so hard for them to face the truth.
That's it.
This was a tough one. I think this sounds like an awesome book (reminds me a bit of The Lace Reader, by Brunonia Berry, without the witchcraft), but the query does need a little work.
What do you all think? Have you ever read a query that focused on two POV characters, and made it work in a couple hundred words? Do you disagree with any of my points?
Ahem. Anyway, here is Liza's query again, this time with my feedback, in blue.
The letter:
Dear Agent,
Fourteen-year-old Melanie Foss is sick of family secrets. Normally, I would say I like this, but when I glance down at your housekeeping paragraph, I worry that this opening sentence is going to make agents think upper MG or lower YA.
Her single mother Bethany refuses to discuss her past other than to admit she was voted Honeydew Queen in Virginia in 1974, but skipped town as soon as she received the crown. This is interesting, and I like the idea of this character's backstory, but I'm concerned that some agents would stop reading at this point. You only have a few lines to grab their attention, and so far, we don't know who your story is actually about, or why we should root for them. I'll say more about queries for books with multiple POVs, in a minute.
When Melanie’s eighth grade social studies teacher assigns a genealogy project worth half her grade, she makes up her family story, a project that creates a crack in the wall her mother has built around her former life. Melanie discovers more when Bethany, diagnosed with a serious illness, enlists the aid of Harrison, a grandfather Melanie has never met. With his support, mother and daughter relocate to Bethany’s hometown; Wait, what? I thought this was going to be a story about the genealogy project, and how it unearthed skeletons from the family closet? If they move away, why would she even continue with the assignment? And conversely, why would they move in the first place? Surely it can't be only to research this project? I'm sure this plot element makes sense in the book, but in the query, you've got very little room to convey the story, so you've got to make absolutely certain everything progresses logically from one point to the next. keeping their presence hidden from Old Meredith, Bethany’s controlling mother, until an accident brings them together and circumstances force a reluctant Bethany to agree to move back to her childhood home. As far as content goes, I really like all the elements here. Family drama, and family secrets, and hiding from family is all intriguing, entertaining stuff, but the execution here continues to follow the problems of this query. There are a lot of characters, and a lot of twists, but we still don't know whose story it is, or what the actual main conflict is going to be.
There, Melanie stumbles upon a clue leading her to initiate a clandestine introduction to the man she assumes is her father. Their disastrous meeting triggers the revelation of a heartbreaking mystery What mystery? You can be specific and just tell us. That's fine in a query. surrounding Bethany’s long ago flight, a tale that alienates Melanie from her mother. Why? Again, be specific. Vagueness is your number one enemy in a query. A shocking loss Vague compounds the teen’s resentment until Old Meredith realizes history has repeated itself. To keep the relationship between her daughter and granddaughter intact, she must decide whether to share the reason behind her own demanding behavior, which she employs to hide a crushing tragedy of her own. Okay, I like the sense I get of the stakes building to high levels, but the problem here is that we're left wondering what actually happens, what the secrets are, and how any of it justifies such a dysfunctional family.
HONEYDEW EVER AFTER (93,000 words), a work of women’s fiction, is written in three points of view, alternating between Melanie, Bethany and Old Meredith. Okay, let me talk about multiple POVs, and how to tackle them in a query. Basically: don't. I mean it's fine that you mention it here, it your housekeeping stats and details, and I certainly think that story format fits for the tale you appear to be telling, but writing the meat of the query in such a way that it tries to focus on more than one character rarely works.
I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm sure it's been done, and done well, but I've never read a query that worked better focusing on multiple characters than it could have been by focusing on one. Try to consider who the main main character is. Is it Melanie? Is it Bethany? It certainly doesn't seem to be old Meredith.
The point is, the best queries open with a character, and characterize that character in such a way that the reader immediately sympathizes with them, and cares about whether they achieve their goals in overcoming whatever conflict they're thrown into.
I am a freelance writer and have been published in
Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely,
Liza Salerno
So, in summary, my biggest problem with this query is its lack of focus on a character. I would argue that this query would work best if it focused on Melanie, and her investigations into her family's past. Introduce us to her right away, show us what kind of person she is before the story starts, and make us care about her.
When it comes to plot, and conflict, you've got a lot of cool elements, and I think it's clear there is a great story underneath this query, but it's hard to tell what actually happens. You don't necessarily want to give away all your twists, or the ending, but otherwise you should be as specific and as open in a query as possible. Give us the details, so we know exactly why this family fell apart the way it did, and so that we can understand why it's so hard for them to face the truth.
That's it.
This was a tough one. I think this sounds like an awesome book (reminds me a bit of The Lace Reader, by Brunonia Berry, without the witchcraft), but the query does need a little work.
What do you all think? Have you ever read a query that focused on two POV characters, and made it work in a couple hundred words? Do you disagree with any of my points?
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Liza Salerno's Current Query
It's been a while, hasn't it? Well, never fear, I've got another query for you today, dear readers. Here is Liza Salerno, from Middle Passages' letter. Please be sure to go follow her blog.
The query:
Dear Agent,
Fourteen-year-old Melanie Foss is sick of family secrets.
Her single mother Bethany refuses to discuss her past other than to admit she was voted Honeydew Queen in Virginia in 1974, but skipped town as soon as she received the crown.
When Melanie’s eighth grade social studies teacher assigns a genealogy project worth half her grade, she makes up her family story, a project that creates a crack in the wall her mother has built around her former life. Melanie discovers more when Bethany, diagnosed with a serious illness, enlists the aid of Harrison, a grandfather Melanie has never met. With his support, mother and daughter relocate to Bethany’s hometown; keeping their presence hidden from Old Meredith, Bethany’s controlling mother, until an accident brings them together and circumstances force a reluctant Bethany to agree to move back to her childhood home.
There, Melanie stumbles upon a clue leading her to initiate a clandestine introduction to the man she assumes is her father. Their disastrous meeting triggers the revelation of a heartbreaking mystery surrounding Bethany’s long ago flight, a tale that alienates Melanie from her mother. A shocking loss compounds the teen’s resentment until Old Meredith realizes history has repeated itself. To keep the relationship between her daughter and granddaughter intact, she must decide whether to share the reason behind her own demanding behavior, which she employs to hide a crushing tragedy of her own.
HONEYDEW EVER AFTER (93,000 words), a work of women’s fiction, is written in three points of view, alternating between Melanie, Bethany and Old Meredith.
I am a freelance writer and have been published in Boston Globe Magazine, Adoptive Families Magazine, South Shore Living Magazine,SouthShoreLiving.com and WritersDigest.com. In addition, I authored a monthly column for a local publication, the Cohasset Mariner.HONEYDEW EVER AFTER is my first novel.
Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely,
Liza Salerno
That's it.
Please save your feedback for tomorrow, and thank Liza for having the courage to share her query with us!
The query:
Dear Agent,
Fourteen-year-old Melanie Foss is sick of family secrets.
Her single mother Bethany refuses to discuss her past other than to admit she was voted Honeydew Queen in Virginia in 1974, but skipped town as soon as she received the crown.
When Melanie’s eighth grade social studies teacher assigns a genealogy project worth half her grade, she makes up her family story, a project that creates a crack in the wall her mother has built around her former life. Melanie discovers more when Bethany, diagnosed with a serious illness, enlists the aid of Harrison, a grandfather Melanie has never met. With his support, mother and daughter relocate to Bethany’s hometown; keeping their presence hidden from Old Meredith, Bethany’s controlling mother, until an accident brings them together and circumstances force a reluctant Bethany to agree to move back to her childhood home.
There, Melanie stumbles upon a clue leading her to initiate a clandestine introduction to the man she assumes is her father. Their disastrous meeting triggers the revelation of a heartbreaking mystery surrounding Bethany’s long ago flight, a tale that alienates Melanie from her mother. A shocking loss compounds the teen’s resentment until Old Meredith realizes history has repeated itself. To keep the relationship between her daughter and granddaughter intact, she must decide whether to share the reason behind her own demanding behavior, which she employs to hide a crushing tragedy of her own.
HONEYDEW EVER AFTER (93,000 words), a work of women’s fiction, is written in three points of view, alternating between Melanie, Bethany and Old Meredith.
I am a freelance writer and have been published in Boston Globe Magazine, Adoptive Families Magazine, South Shore Living Magazine,SouthShoreLiving.com and WritersDigest.com. In addition, I authored a monthly column for a local publication, the Cohasset Mariner.HONEYDEW EVER AFTER is my first novel.
Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely,
Liza Salerno
That's it.
Please save your feedback for tomorrow, and thank Liza for having the courage to share her query with us!
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