Laura Stephenson's Kickstarter for The Complete Guide to Being Evil

Laura is a friend of mine and a blogging pal. She's been on here before with query letters, and now she has decided to self-publish her book, The Complete Guide to Being Evil. In order to do it right, she has created a Kickstarter campaign.

You know what Kickstarter is, right? I wrote a little about it here.

Anyway, check out Laura's video:



And then you can read more, and see the rewards, here.

Double Post Day!

I know, I never blog any more. So today, I blogged twice!

I'll try to get through this as quickly as possible, because I'm slammed at work. Anyway, if you have time, you can find me:

Talking about my favorite Roald Dahl books at Project Middle Grade Mayhem, or:

Unreviewing Reality Boy, by A.S. King, at YA Confidential.

That's it! Thanks.

Kodi Ross's Current Query Critiqued

All righty then, today we have Kodi's query again, this time with my feedback, in blue.

Here's the letter:

Dear Agent (Why I am querying)

(Why you are querying) I'm sure you meant to move this line down here, but just to be sure. Also, I've said many times I prefer personalization at the end, so I won't harp on it any longer.

Seventeen-year-old Mihael This is a weird spelling, but I see from the rest of the query it's on purpose. Wrath This name feels a little too obvious to me, but that's not really query critique territory. is the son of the most powerful Sin in the Demon Realm, but if he doesn’t turn into a full demon by his eighteenth birthday, he’ll be just another blood splatter on the sacrificial altar.

Okay. I like this. I have no idea what a Sin is, or how turning into a full demon works, but it doesn't really matter, because this is just the hook. I'm hoping we get an idea what Mihael is before becoming a full demon (half-demon? no-demon?), but I'm sure you'll get to that.

With his crucial birthday looming and not even a demonic roar inside him, See? I knew we could count on you. No-demon it is. Mihael discovers his father’s plans to launch the Apocalypse and make the AntiChrist rise, with Mihael’s split You really mean split, not spilled, right? blood being a key part of that plan.

I think you need to clarify what you mean here. You mention Mihael being murdered in the opening hook, but then this paragraph confuses it. Is he some kind of demon-human hybrid? If so, you need to say so. If not, you need to explain what he is.

With brains, guile, and a powerful aid, Like another character? This is vague. Mihael escapes from his father’s demonic clutches. His only hope lies in the human world, in his new allies(, Oxford comma) and the answers he’ll find there. He joins up with an unstable psychic and her half-angel friend, who he finds are also being hunted by his father, Wrath. You don't need this. Just "father" is sufficient. Also, are the psychic and the half-angel the same characters who were the "powerful aid?"

With few clues to guide them, Mihael and his friends must find a way to fight back against Wrath his father’s horde of demons. Though hopelessly outmatched, they have a weapon Wrath he doesn’t. If they figure out how to use it correctly, they might just have a chance at stopping Armageddon.

HALF-BREEDS AND OTHER LIABILITIES is a 80,000 word YA Urban Fantasy novel that will appeal to fans of Holly Black’s WHITE CAT White Cat and Cassandra Clare’s THE MORTAL INSTRUMENTS: CITY OF BONES The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones. It is a standalone with series potential.

Thank you for your time.

Okay. You're off to a good start here. You've got some cool elements, and you certainly cover a clear conflict, and imply a decent choice, but you need to focus this query more. Avoid vague-ness, and focus on specificity.

Also, I get that his father is Wrath, and that Mihael shares his surname, but I would suggest keeping that out of the query. It would just confuse things.

That's it!

What do you all think?

Kodi Ross's Current Query

We've had Kodi on before, so let's get right to:

Her query:

Dear Agent (Why I am querying)

Seventeen-year-old Mihael Wrath is the son of the most powerful Sin in the Demon Realm, but if he doesn’t turn into a full demon by his eighteenth birthday, he’ll be just another blood splatter on the sacrificial altar.

With his crucial birthday looming and not even a demonic roar inside him, Mihael discovers his father’s plans to launch the Apocalypse and make the AntiChrist rise, with Mihael’s split blood being a key part of that plan.

With brains, guile, and a powerful aid, Mihael escapes from his father’s demonic clutches. His only hope lies in the human world, in his new allies and the answers he’ll find there. He joins up with an unstable psychic and her half-angel friend, who he finds are also being hunted by his father, Wrath.

With few clues to guide them, Mihael and his friends must find a way to fight back against Wrath’s horde of demons. Though hopelessly outmatched, they have a weapon Wrath doesn’t. If they figure out how to use it correctly, they might just have a chance at stopping Armageddon.

HALF-BREEDS AND OTHER LIABILITIES is a 80,000 word YA Urban Fantasy novel that will appeal to fans of Holly Black’s WHITE CAT and Cassandra Clare’s THE MORTAL INSTRUMENTS: CITY OF BONES. It is a standalone with series potential.

Thank you for your time.

That's it!

Please thank her for sharing, and save your feedback for tomorrow.

Indiestructable!

ONLY 99c TO HELP SUPPORT THE INDIE AUTHOR & AN AMAZING CHARITY!

by Jessica Bell

The day I realized I’d been obsessing over my sales figures way too much was the day I closed my eyes and tried to think about the real reason I am an indie author.

Is my primary goal to make money? No. So why do I keep obsessing over my sales stats? I realized it’s because more sales means more people reading my work. What I really really want is to be read. I want to share the one thing in this world I would cut my fingers off for. I know. If I didn’t have any fingers, I wouldn’t be able to physically write, but you know what I mean.

My passion for writing comes with a perpetual replacement button, attached to my side seam, just in case it becomes unraveled, and falls off, after a day gallivanting through the publishing jungle. It can be tough in there, but in the end, being an indie author is OH SO WORTH IT.

This made me wonder …  what’s everybody else’s story?

Then Indiestructible was born.

Need motivation and inspiration to self-publish, or sign that contract with an interested small press? Have you done all the research you can, but still feel ambivalent about the idea? Indiestructible: Inspiring Stories from the Publishing Jungle brings you the experiences of 29 indie authors—their passions, their insights, their successes—to help you make the leap into indie publishing.

This is not a how-to guide. This is the best of the indie tradition of experienced authors paying forward what they’ve learned, giving you information to help you on your journey. The personal essays in this book will leave you itching to get your work into the hands of readers and experience, first-hand, all the rewards indie publishing has to offer.

Not only is this anthology packed full of interesting, unique, and genuinely helpful information, and totally worth the 99c (only 99c!!!), 100% of proceeds will be donated to BUILDON.org, a movement which breaks the cycle of poverty, illiteracy, and low expectations through service and education.

Pretty amazing, huh?

What are you waiting for?

Buy Indiestructible—support the indie author and an amazing charity—TODAY!

CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE INDIESTRUCTIBLE

eBook: $0.99 USD
Publisher: Vine Leaves Press
ISBN 10: 0987593102
ISBN 13: 9780987593108
Language: English

Edited & Compiled: by Jessica Bell

Contributing authors:

Alex J. Cavanaugh <> Angela Brown <> Anne R. Allen <> Briane Pagel <> C.S. Lakin <> Ciara Knight <> Cindy M. Hogan <> D. Robert Pease <> Dawn Ius <> Emily White <> Greg Metcalf <> Jadie Jones <> Jessica Bell <> Karen Bass <> Karen Walker <> Kristie Cook <> Laura Diamond <> Laura Pauling <> Laurel Garver <> Leigh Talbert Moore <> Lori Robinson <> Melissa Foster <> Michael Offutt <> Michelle Davidson Argyle <> Rick Daley <> Roz Morris <> S.R. Johannes <> Stephen Tremp <> Susan Kaye Quinn

About Jessica Bell:

The Australian-native contemporary fiction author, poet, and singer/songwriter/guitarist, Jessica Bell, also makes a living as an editor and writer for global ELT publishers (English Language Teaching), such as Pearson Education, HarperCollins, Macmillan Education, Education First and Cengage Learning.

She is the co-publishing editor of Vine Leaves Literary Journal, and the director of the Homeric Writers’ Retreat & Workshop on the Greek island of Ithaca.

Connect with Jessica online:

Website | Blog | Facebook | Twitter