Blogging Announcement!

Hey sorry for the trickery but I used that exciting title to try to entice some of you to come read ... again.

I'm going to try something different this weekend, partly to make up for no guest blogger today and partly just to see how it works.

I do want to make a very serious point first. I LOVE LOVE LOVE all my blogging buddies. All the other novice writers and even agented but unpublished authors out there who show love and support are so cool ... I'm not even sure I know how to properly express my thanks. I'm not going to do links here because I'm on a iMac here at home and my keyboard is basically pretty effed up but ... there are some particular people I would like to thank:

Justine Dell. We met on NB's forums. She was one of the first to give my query an honest crit. She was my first guest poster. She is my FBFITB.

Cole Gibsen. Cole is the coolest writer/samurai/ninja/homegirl that you have never met. She was my second guest blogger and though she is not YET published her crazy awesome debut novel KATANA is due out in 2012. Right Cole?

Rachele Alpine. Rachele is an English Teacher AND an MFA student and she is also going to be published soon. Her debut novel CANARY is on submission and shall be published soon. She rules because she is very helpful with crits and has a wonderful positive attitude.

Bish Denham. I won't go into details but Bish was the first one to "show me the ropes" of blogging and what kind of behavior is acceptable, what is borderline, and how to respect your fellow bloggers. She was honest and real and I truly appreciate it.

The Alliterative Allomorph. Jessica is one of the best ever because she had the stones to email me and ask if I was ignoring her on purpose (I hope it's okay to share about this Jess! I love ya!). I wasn't but I WAS new to blogging and had never followed her even though she commented on like my whole second week's worth of posts. If she hadn't said something I would have missed out on one of the coolest, realest, most honest writers I now know.

Tahereh. TH Mafi is the most talented writer I know. Period. That would be enough to make her awesome but she is also a prolific commenter on my blog and a fiercely loyal friend. I want to compare her to Sam Gamgee/Sean Astin here but I'm concerend she may be insulted.

Candace. Candace did a guest post too for her ridiculously unique novel. Which is great, but what really strikes me about her is that she is the most like me of all the bloggers I know. She's street smart as hell but still optimistic and a dreamer. She's honest but still smart enough to know when NOT to tell the truth, but most of all she's ghetto fabulous, in a good way.

Katie the Creepy Query Girl. Katie is still a mystery to me, mostly. As an American living in France she pretty much has the life we all envy but her writing is very crisp and she has just about the most classic sounding novel I've heard of in years.

Shannon McMahon. Shannon was the first person EVER to ask me for advice about blogging. We met on NB's forums which is like an auto gold star for our friendship but seriously ... I was such a noob I didn't know what to say to her! The advice I DID give her she took to heart and now she has one of my very favorite blogs. My only complaint it that since she has her own domain she needs to set it up so that I can download her recipes. THIS CHICK CAN COOK Y'ALL!

Lindsay aka Isabella. Lindsay is another sort of shy friend just like me. She is one of my very top commentators but she is totally on top of keeping us all up with the blogoshpere on her blog.

Jen from Unedited. Can you believe this lovely lady isn't published, isn't agented and hasn't even started querying yet? I can't.

Slam Dunks. I believe this guy is an ex-cop. He may or may not even be writer (though his blogging rules, and as far as I'm concerned that counts). What I love is that he spreads the knowledge about stories that should not have yet been laid to rest. And he is a first class family man, like me (I hope).

Sheri from Graffiti Wall. Sheri, known to many as Salarsen is the hippest chick out there. She's a writer, a dancer, a mother and a lovely wife but she is down with the illest styles and spends her time doing her best to highlight other people's careers.

Lisa and Laura Roecker. I don't know quite what to say about these two but they are pretty much like rock stars. I call them Lady LiLa, which is just like Lady Gaga but with two heads and MORE style.

Elana Johnson. Elana is like the quarterback at your local high school except she's nice. The analogy only works because she's famous AND accessible but it doesn't really apply because she is so much more giving than your average Al Dallas (that was the QB's name on my Chattanooga TN HS football team. I was a tight end. I swear this is true.)

Suzette Saxton. Suzette was the first blogger to send me a Google friend connect request. Then she introduced me to several of the best blogs I've yet discovered. Her sister Bethany is pretty cool/nice too but it was Suzette who reached out to me.

And here we come to the point. This is where I want to make something crystal clear. I'm worried that I offended some people with what was taken as a complaint about Suzette. If you look at today's earlier post you'll see a comment by an anonymous poster in which I was taken to task a little for what I said about Suzette. I sincerely hope it was a misunderstanding because I have an inkling of a clue that that poster actually knows something about Suzette that I don't.

I just want it to be known that me in particular, but I suspect other novice writers feel the same, really really, REALLY appreciate that agented, soon to be published, and even sometimes published authors take the time to participate in our blogs and give of themselves selflessly, hoping to assist in others reaching their dreams as they have done.

As a contributing author on the Query Tracker blog, Suzette is one of the very few who give so much that many of us can't quite comprehend it. I'm essentially mortified that someone would think that I would say, let alone think, anything negative about her. I sincerely hope that if she finds the time to see these posts she discovers the truth at the heart of them.

I'm not the smartest guy around but I care a lot about writing, reading and publishing and I think that people like Suzette, who are willing to mentor others, even if just a little bit, should be considered gems of islands in this turbulent sea of hope toward becoming published.

That's all I have to say about this right now but I'll make a promise for the sake of posterity. If I get ten comments on this weekend post I'll do another and tell you guys a bit about my unique critique group.

Next Step in the Process

I have some bad news this morning. I emailed Suzette Saxton three times this week to remind her of her upcoming blog post that we had scheduled for today. I have not heard back from her. I have Hilary Wagner lined up for next week but I did not want to bump her up because we just agreed on the post this Wednesday.

Suzette is usually very communicative and helpful so I certainly do hope she is all right. In fact she was the first friend who connected with me on Google friend connect. She introduced me to bloggers like Elana Johnson, LiLa and Michelle McLean and their blogs. Of course Suzette also contributes to the Query Tracker blog, writes books and is repped by Suzie Townsend of Fine Print Lit so I'm sure she's very busy. It is also possible I suppose that I got her email wrong but I'm pretty sure I replied to an earlier conversation.

Oh well, no big deal ... I'll just have to post one of my own "successful" queries and try my best to analyze it for you guys.

So here goes:

May 21st, 2009

Dear Ms. REDACTED,

I am writing to you seeking representation for my young adult novel, which has the working title WARRIOR-MONKS and is complete. Warrior-Monks is intended for young adult readers ages 13-17, but I am certain that once you read the manuscript you will find that it is mature enough and compelling enough to enthrall even the most discerning adult reader as well. I will not include any sample chapters because your website clearly states that you will request a manuscript if you have an interest.

This is not very good housekeeping. I am AMAZED that she requested further pages with no word count admitted to and no clear genre declared. The part about her guidelines is okay.

The book is about a young man named Lee, who is from a broken family and who eventually ends up being sent to a unique reform school in Northern Idaho after he is expelled from a normal boarding school and kicked out of his aunt and uncle's home. He is very worried about what will go on at this school but eventually discovers that he enjoys the curriculum. They teach him things like Aikido, Meditation and Calligraphy and take him and several other students camping and backpacking in the mountains in Montana as he grows and puts his self-conscious and shy tendencies behind him. It is an introspective and character driven novel in which the plot is not necessarily the focus but still has enough interesting occurrences to move the tale along as the reader comes to know and love the characters.

This is all very meh. I guess it worked for her in a sort of "here you go" business presentation "I'll just tell you some of what happens" kind of way but I really have no idea what hooked her. I can see maybe if she had allowed the first five pages this wouldn't matter but I honestly have no idea what she liked about this.

I have never been published but I am confident that many authors like Christopher Paolini and Brunonia Barry have proved that you do not have to be a highly experienced or best-selling author to write an incredibly entertaining book.

We've covered before how this is presented poorly.

Please feel free to reply to this email, or to call me on my mobile phone at any time at 206-555-1212, or even to write to me at home at:

ADDRESS

Thank you for your consideration of this proposal. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,

Matthew M. Rush

Her reply:

Dear Matthew,

I want to thank you for considering REDACTED Literary Agency as a possible fit to represent Warrior Monks. Based on your initial pitch I would like to read more of your work to consider it for REDACTED representation. If you are still in need of a literary agent, please follow the submission guidelines listed below for us to review your work in-depth. Although this is not a guarantee, nor an informed review, this is the next step in the process—congratulations.

Please print out the first 100 pages, or the first five chapters, of your manuscript and mail it to:

REDACTED Literary Agency

ADDRESS

You must also include:

1. A cover letter stating the title and one sentence theme of your manuscript.
2. A brief biography on yourself and specifically your writing experience.
3. A self addressed and stamped envelope sufficient to return your materials after our review.

I look forward to reviewing your work in more detail.

REDACTED
Literary Agent

REDACTED Literary Agency, LLC
ADDRESS

I wrote back:

Dear REDACTED,

Thank you so much for your interest in my project but before I print and send my partial manuscript I want to make sure I format it to fit your preferences. It is my experience that some agents have very specific expectations when it comes to formatting of a manuscript. Currently my book is single-spaced and written in the Arial font at 11 point size. Switching it to 12 point and changing the paragraphs to double spacing would use a lot more paper but I understand that reading single spaced print can be tough on the eyes and I am perfectly willing to format the manuscript in just about any way that you would like. I am very much looking forward to having you review my novel but I want to make sure that it is the condition which is best suited for your needs. Please let me know whenever you have a moment and I will send you my work and the other requested items in the appropriate format.

Thank you,

Matthew

That was so dumb. I mean it was polite and professional but I was such a greenhorn then I had no idea there was such a thing as an industry standard. Oops.

She was pretty cool about it though:

Thank you Matthew. Double spaced serif font is preferable.

All my best,

REDACTED.

The hard part was going to be the bio and one line summary. I wish I still had those to share with you guys but if memory serves they were pretty bad.

Anyway I printed out the first hundred or so pages, double spaced, and paid to send them to her via media mail.

I heard nothing for a month so I emailed her one more time:

Dear REDACTED,

I certainly don't expect you to have finished reading my partial manuscript because I imagine you are very busy, but it has just occurred to me that I should check to make sure that you received it in the mail. Please drop me brief line whenever you have a moment and let me know whether you received the partial manuscript and other materials.

Again, thank you very much for taking the time to read and consider my project,

Matthew

I never heard back from her. Still haven't. It wouldn't be that big a deal except that she made me print all that stuff out. I wrote in the cover letter that she could recycle it rather than send it back but a reply to say she had received it and was not interested would have been nice.

I mean yes, I was flattered that she liked the query or at least the premise for the story and at the time I was of course VERY excited but now knowing more I'm not surprised that she rejected it, just a little miffed that she didn't even reply. Oh well.

Not so full of Glee

I have a bone to pick with Ryan Murphy and the others who are involved in the writing of scripts and selecting tunes for the hit Fox TV Series: Glee. Most of you know that in spite of my NFL, NBA, MLB, NHL, FIFA and sportscenter preferences I do enjoy this show to the fullest. Tuesday's episode is one I have to bitch about.

The title of the episode was FUNK. FUNK. They did some great numbers like Good Vibrations, Loser, Man's World and others but
I really think that they missed out on an excellent opportunity. Hell they even mentioned the band P-Funk by name AND used the phrase MOTHERSHIP CONNECTION. WITHOUT DOING a P-FUNK song. I consider that sacrilegious, well not quire perhaps, but nearly.

I can see how possibly they thought that the show would somehow disrespect the reputation but I say that's ridiculous. Sure P-Funk is very different from anything the producers behind Glee have ever attempted, but they've pulled it off before. Don't Stop Believin was a played out old early 80's hair band song until they re-introduced it to the world and shocked us all.

Here is some P-Funk linkage:

Parliament on Wikipedia.







On a side note Sue Sylvester may be the greatest shit talker who ever lived on film.

EDIT: So hopefully anyone who saw the episode will realize that I wrote this during the commercials. Blogging takes a lot of time and ... oh quit bitchin. For those who didn't see it I will now admit that the show did a parliament number at the end! For those who have to ask Parliament is P-Funk. THEY DID IT! Has there ever been a show wish brassier balls? Normally shows crash because they push limits to this level.

Right now I need Ryan Murphy's email cause I have some other suggestions. Okay. The P-Funk number was not the best the show has had. It was not phenomenal. It was very, very good though.

They didn't select the best P-Funk song but it was a good one and they did Turn This Mother Sucker Out ... in their own way.

I'll leave you with some George Clinton/Parliament quotes:

"You can dance underwater and not get wet!"

"I don't surf or swim!"

"This is a real type of thing, going down, gettin down."

"So kick back, dig, while we do it to you in your eardrums."

"Good evening.
Do not attempt to adjust your radio, there is nothing wrong.
We have taken control as to bring you this special show.
We will return it to you as soon as you are grooving."

"Everybody's got a little light under the sun."

Anyway I get it. If you don't get it you don't get it. Fine. and if you have to ask you'll never know. I suppose I've dated myself with this but I don't care. I WAS pretty cool ... once upon a time back when.

And yes this post is short and the reason is I have news. Marietta Zacker emailed ME yesterday and APOLOGIZED for taking so long to get back about the crit of my first 30.

I told her not to worry of course, we all know agents are busy ... but I also asked if she would mind accepting my first person re-written opening instead of the first 30 I already sent and she agreed to do it!

I will be sure to keep you all up to date.

EDIT: I just heard a terrible story on NPR this morning. Apparently MGM who is partnered with Warner Bros. for the production of The Hobbit is so broke that they have halted production of the films. Sad sad day. Hopefully they'll get this worked out soon.

Invictus

Last night we watched what should have been selected as last year's Best Picture at the Oscars. Don't get me wrong. I saw The Hurt Locker. It was an excellent film. A powerful story that needed to be told.

Invictus was better. An uplifting story based on true events is always more inspiring than a depressing story based on real situations. Inspirational qualities of course don't necessarily make a film great, but this one was.

Invictus is a simple film about Nelson Mandela, the newly elected president of South Africa who has only just been released from prison, and his desire to keep the traditions of the national rugby side: their colors, their symbol, their nickname: The Springboks.

Nelson Mandela is played by Morgan Freeman, in my opinion one of the greatest actors of the modern era. Matt Damon plays Francois Pienaar, the Afriakaaner captain of the team. Mr. Damon is of course not quite the accomplished thespian that Mr. Freeman is but in my opinion he has recently proven himself to be much more diverse than I would have thought after Good Will Hunting and Chasing Amy. His South African accent is a bit better than Leonardo DiCaprio's from Blood Diamond, more subtle, but then his role is also less prominent. Clint Eastwood also continues to prove as the director that he can do much more than act tough.

Anyway the film is of course just a very thin slice of the topic of Mandela, South Africa, Apartheid, Political Prisoners and Human Rights. It takes all these weighty subjects and focuses them into the idea of Mandela supporting the Springboks and doing everything he can to see that they win the Rugby World Cup that was hosted in South Africa in 1995.

A very simple overview of history to better understand the South Africa situation: South Africa is the southernmost country in the diverse continent of Africa. It contains what is known as the Cape of Good Hope. In the 1600's the Dutch East India trading company was regularly sailing around this cape to reach India and Asia for trade. They eventually formed the Dutch settlement Cape Town which is now a modern city.

Long story short the Dutch continued to settle in South Africa and after fighting over territory with the British several times eventually the modern government and power structure in the nation ended up being run almost exclusively by whites known as Afrikaaners or Afrikaans. This set up a rather unique situation in South Africa because although racism has existed for eons in many places it is rare that the minority is in power oppressing the vast majority as was the case in South Africa during Apartheid.

Before I go on forever about all this backstory basically Nelson Mandela spent over thirty years as a political prisoner of the white government. They incarcerated him for nothing more than speaking out against Apartheid. In the film as in real life he is released from prison and quickly elected the president of the new democratic government.

I don't know how true to real life the film is but I suspect there is some poetic license. In the film Mandela decides to support the Sringboks, who represent all things Afrikaan and Apartheid to his people. He decides that he wants to bring the nation together, not to divide it.

I won't give away the whole plot but I'm sure it's pretty obvious what happens. That being said this is a great film because it tells a fun little part of the story of a great, great man. Nelson Mandela was one of those rare people who lead with a passion for the human condition. Like the Dalai Llama, Mohandes Ghandi, and even Jesus Christ he had that rare quality of forgiveness for his tormentors that has inspired entire cultures so many times.

There is a great line from the film when Matt Damon is talking about Mandela after visiting his old prison cell and he says:

"I was thinking how a man could spend thirty years in prison, and come out and forgive the men who did it to him..."

Mandela uses the Springboks as an example to his countrymen of this kind of forgiveness. That is leadership.

The film is actually named after a poem written in 1875 by English poet William Ernest Henley titled Invictus, which means Unconquered in Latin. Supposedly Mandela read the poem to himself often while he was in prison and it inspired him to many things. This may or may not be true, I have not looked it up, but the poem IS rather inspiring nonetheless. I will share it with you here:

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

These are beautiful, powerful words and I think they fit quite appropriately with the subject of the struggles of the nation of South Africa and its people. Things are by no means perfect there but I look forward to enjoying the FIFA World Cup this summer which takes place in South Africa as well.

Hopefully this nation and its people will continue to improve their condition and have a bright future ahead of them.

Sorry for the rambling post but I was late to work this morning and had to throw this together without any preparation. I'm only reading it once to proof it, so please forgive the errors that surely will slip through.

Spotlight on The World in Miniature

Before I get to the point of today's post I would really like to thank everyone who visited last Friday and over the weekend, but especially those who commented, because Elana is so wonderful and giving and helpful that she really deserves our support just as much or more than she gives us hers.

Her guest post earned the blog 62 comments (like 3 were mine and 3 were hers, but still) which is the most I've had on a single post since I started this silly thing. I am proud of that but there is, I think, no question as to who all that love was really for.

THANK YOU so much Elana, for all that you do for all of us and may you have as much success being a published author as you do blogging and being a mentor to us all!

So that all being said I am going to spend today's post highlighting another blogging friend and mentor of mine who is doing some wonderful things for writers as well. His name is Bryan Russell but he may be better known as Ink, the moderator of the world famous Nathan Bransford's forums.

He's helped probably hundreds of us with our queries and synopses and other writerly efforts but I supposes it's possible that some of you may not know he also has a blog (he's also has written novels, and owns an independent bookshop, but today we're focusing on the blog): The Alchemy of Writing.

He has some very cool ideas on his blog. One of my favorites was when he "blogged the Lord of the Rings". Being a fanboi for all things Middle Earth I was of course obsessed when I found it and then utterly disappointed to discover that Bryan lost his copy and kind of gave up on the idea. Don't worry though, he's promised to get back to it one day.

However, today I'd like to focus on the feature he has elected to call "The World in Miniature". In it he is featuring flash fiction pieces by himself and other writers. These are very fun, sometimes provocative, enlightening reads; especially as a way to get to know other writers and their styles better.

I'll begin with the ones that Ink himself wrote:

Stalin's Boots.

This one is great. I won't analyze it too much because I'm not sure I'm smart enough to figure out what it's really about, but I saw a fun piece about what I'm assuming are a fictional pair of Josef Stalin's boots and their opinions on the matters of the time. I thought the piece was striking and very funny. Possibly funnier that Bryan even intended.

The General who Spoke on the Radio.

This one is even more fun. I sort of picture Castro in a Sunday comic strip but you'll have to read it for yourself.

How to Become a Warlord.

This one's a bit darker, though it does have very funny moments also. It sparked an interesting debate in the comments too, when I had to wonder if Bryan is an idealist. He assured me that his only loyalty is to the story. I'd say that's clearly served him well.

The Mating Call of Frogs.

Evocative and a bit disturbing.

Now looking at the archives of his blog there are also apparently some other entries by him that I missed. Please check these out as well:

The Border Between Here and There.

Okay I guess it was just that one. You'll please let me know if I missed any others, right Bryan?

His first guest piece was from Susan Kaye Quinn. She also has a blog. Her piece was titled The Hole.

I found it reminiscent of childhood and all things happy and simple. It took me back to a time when things were grand. The writing was neat and simple and yet the imagery wonderful. It reminded me how amazing imagination can be, young or old.

The next guest was Carl Grimsman, who has a blogger profile but apparently not a blog. There is a facebook url under the post which may lead to more info but who knows?

His piece was titled Mortimer.

It was sort of strange and wonderful all wrapped up together and reminded me of bicycles with giant front wheels, pipes blowing bubbles, bathtub gin and men in one piece bathing suits with handle bar mustaches. I'm not sure why but you'll have to read it for yourself to find out more.

Next came TH Mafi AKA Tahereh. In case you live under a rock she has an amazing blog. I'm not sure if it's called Stir Your Tea or Grab a Pen, but either one works for me!

Her piece was called Strangers on a Sunday.

I found it incredibly tragic and poignantly sorrowful, but also a bit enraging in its own way. She takes an unfortunately all too common occurrence and slices it to the bone with wit and voice and language so evocative that you can't possibly remain aware of your surroundings as it sucks you in. That's pretty much applies to anything Tahereh writes.

Then there was my own piece: The Deafening Silence. Most of you probably saw it but if not please feel free to give it a read. It was the very first time I shared any of my own creative writing (blogging doesn't really count) with the blogoshpere so it was great to hear that people like it.

So that's it for today. If you don't already follow Ink (Bryan Russell) and his blog, please do so now. You can also learn more about him and writing, submitting your work and publishing in general on Nathan Bransford's blog and especially in the forums.

Thanks for visiting! Thoughts?