Step Five

Hi. My name is Matthew and I'm a blogaholic.

There is never enough. Never enough time, never enough posts, never enough comments, never enough followers. Each single one is like an injection of happiness.

Today I am on Step Five.

I've admitted to Him, Nathan Bransford, to myself, and to another human being (my readers) the exact nature of my wrongs.

- I didn't shower for 2 weeks when I reached 100 followers.
- I gave my kids pop tarts for dinner because I was working on the guest post for Elana Johnson.
- I fed my kids Ritz crackers and cheese from an aerosol can because I was working on the guest post for Lisa and Laura Roecker.
- I cried and ate ice cream and took too many muscle relaxers when no one read any of my posts for the first week.
- I laid in bed for weeks when I got hard to swallow feedback about my novel. I neglected hygiene, parenting, taking the dog out and going to work for so long I developed bed sores and my leg muscles atrophied.

Soon I may share about Step Six.

Disclaimer: This post is satirical. It is not meant to offend anyone, or to belittle the integrity of 12 Step Programs anywhere, which have saved countless lives since their inception.

Top 10 TV Shows Blogfest!

I may be a day late and a dollar short, but here is my entry into the Top 10 TV Shows Blogfest. I would like to thank Alex for coming up with this and everyone else for participating and making it so much fun. Here are my top 10 TV shows, in no real particular order:

1) The Wire.
Brutal. Harsh. Real. The Wire is based on real life in Baltimore's city streets, one of the most dangerous places in America. It portrays the brutality of inner city poverty with courage and honesty unknown before or since. Plus one of my favorite novelists was involved in writing several of the screenplays: Richard Price.

2) The Office
It was so subtle at first, what made this show hilarious, just real people, in an office, doing work and living life. Of course yes Michael Scott is one of the most annoying and funniest characters ever created, and love him or hate him (I happen to love him), you can't deny his impact on the "sitcom". Plus Jim, Dwight and Michael are basically the perfect comedy trio. A modern day Marx Brothers.

3) Entourage.
This show is so much fun. Before you slam me I am aware of the inherent misogyny within this show, especially portrayed by Ari Gold, but that's sort of the point. An over the top, satirical look at Hollywood, that's honest and not afraid to make fun of itself. Plus it's fun as hell to watch, completely unbelievable, and as hilarious as it is exciting.

4) True Blood.
How can a show be this ridiculous and this awesome at the same time? You thought twilight made vampires cool again? Wrong. Maybe sparkly ones, maybe for kids, but True Blood goes all out with violence, drug use, sex and nudity. There is no question this show is for adults, and depraved ones at that. Still, you can't deny the entertainment value of this campy romp of sex, blood, gore and violence.

5) Glee.
I haven't had more fun watching a show with my family (my kids, not my parents) ever. There are occasional moments that fly swiftly over my daughter's head, but the music, the singing, the production value in this show know no equal. Plus the concept of bringing back rockin tunes that might have been left by the wayside otherwise is a stellar one. The message of equality cleverly woven underneath it all is also pretty darn cool.

6) The X Files.
Oh the files that were filed under X. Oh Mulder. Oh Scully. Oh Smoking man and Krycek. This was a show from a simpler time. When weird was cool and "big picture" episodes were waited for with bated breath. At least by me. The movies weren't bad, but it was the show that stole my heart. This was the first and only show I planned to watch every week once I finally was out on my own.

7) The Simpsons.
Only in America could a show poke so much fun at real issues in our society and still be so beloved. Only Matt Groening could be so cruel toward New Jersey while being from there originally. The Simpsons are timeless. The Simpsons are hilarious. The Simpsons was probably the first cartoon on national TV that wasn't really appropriate for children, and we loved it for that. The simpsons made Fox cool.

8) Avatar: The Last Airbender.
The show, not the film. This one was a recent discovery for me, but it was also honestly the very first show my own kids introduced to me that I actually ended up loving. This show has it all, martial arts, magical manipulation of the elements, romance, comedy, a quest to save the world. The characters are very lovable, and there are some moments of slapstick that get a little cheesy, but for the most part this is a kids show that adults can enjoy as well.

9) L.A. Law
I actually don't even remember this show that well, but it was the first show my parents watched that I got into at all. I was already a huge Harry Hamlin fan because of Clash of the Titans, and I remember Corbin Bernsen and Jimmy Smits' characters quite well. This show was more of a soap opera than most modern lawyer shows today, but I recall clearly that this was what first made me want to be an attorney. Well, this and the money.

10) M.A.S.H.
The original sitcom. The show that spanned generations. The show that defined many younger Americans understanding of the Korean War until they grew up and found a better understanding. Hawkeye. Trapper. Hot Lips. Klinger. Hunnicutt. Radar. Major Burns. Need I say more? The finale of this show was the most watched television event in history until the Super Bowl that was played this year.

So what do you all think? Discover any new shows during this awesome blogfest? I know I did. Please remember to visit all the other bloggers who participated as there have been a great many wonderful shows, actors and performances mentioned. You will enjoy all of these posts immensely.

I promise.

Anime Weekend Atlanta

So this weekend, on Saturday, I took my eldest daughter Kylie down to the Cobb Galleria Center just outside Atlanta for the convention called Anime Weekend Atlanta. My daughter is obsessed with all things Japanese, but especially Anime (animated films from Japan) and Manga (graphic novels from Japan).

Personally I love Japanese culture, and even incorporate some of it into my current WIP (like Aikido, a martial art, Kenjutsu, another martial art, Calligraphy, the ancient form of writing known as Kanji, and Zen Buddhism). However, this kind of nerd fest would not normally be my thing (I rock my nerd card proudly, I'm just shy and afraid dork overload), but I went anyway, because I love my daughter, she had been planning on attending for weeks, and her friend and friend's mother had bailed on her.

So we gathered our cash, printed our registration forms, loaded the Honda and hit the road. We drove 30 minutes or so to Atlanta, found the convention, parked at the top of a huge garage and headed in. Things got weird pretty quickly.

I'll share some photos we took at the event with you all. It won't be quite as awesome as Shannon Shame, but it will have to do.

This was taken soon after we arrived. That's Kylie standing next to a young man dressed up as Aang from Avatar: The Last Airbender. Hopefully he's the kid from the show, because she hated the film.

Sorry for the blurriness but our camera is not the best. This is a young lady and another person of unknown gender dressed up as Naruto and Kakashi from the Anime TV show: Naruto: Shippuden. Naruto is Kylie's favorite show and she loved these characters, even though neither one is her absolute favorite.

This was just really creepy. Apparently these costumes have something to do with the video game Silent Hill. To me they're just gross.

This one has a great story behind it. The guy in white is from the video game Assasin's Creed. I'm not positive but I believe he is Altair from the first game, rather than Ezio from the second. The story is that we noticed him in the hall, and I pointed him out to Kylie (this was when she was still being really nervous and shy, and wouldn't let me take any photos). So he apparently heard me point him out, because he snuck up behind us and followed us like an assassin for a while. He freaked Kylie out a little, but then she laughed and let me take the picture.

The kid is another one of hundreds of Naruto.

This one really creeps me out. That's Kylie. She's wearing the color contacts that she bought at the convention which make her eyes look like cat's eyes. It is really freaky.

Kylie writes a lot of fan fiction. Her favorite stories are based on the Naruto universe but include an original character she made up: Mononoke Tsumami. She is a female ninja who turns into a demon when she grows angry. I wish she would write more completely original stories, but I must say I'm happy that she writes at all. Kylie spent her own money to get these things, and she scared the crap out of mom at home later.

Here she is with a woman dressed up as Gaara from Naruto. I bought Kylie a cheap knock off Kimono with a fake Obi, but she loved it and it was a great leverage device to get her to pose for more photos.

This one is my all time favorite. I'm not sure what these two dudes were doing at the Anime convention but I loved their costumes so much I HAD to share. For those who don't know that's Hunter S. Thompson and his psychotic attorney from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, the film which stars two of my favorite actors: Johnny Depp and Benicio Del Toro. Great novel, great film, great writer. Hunter S. Thompson was probably not a very good person, but he was a great writer and you can't deny his impact on popular culture.

We left the convention as the sun began to slip toward the horizon, and guess what? We (I) had left the headlights on (the poor Honda no longer has a headlight alarm) and the battery was dead. Luckily we were saved shortly after by a young man who had his own original character. He was some kind of Wizard with an awesome staff, but we loved him mostly for his kind heart, and his car battery.

So that's all the photos and stories I have to share. I didn't get much writing done this weekend. I need to get on that. How did you all spend your time away from the daily grind?

Look What I Got Last Night!

I don't have much for you guys today but I do have this announcement about the packages I received last night! See all the books that arrived?

Catching Fire, Mockingjay, and Nightshade City are the books I ordered from Amazon with the gift card I got when I got my buddy Cleve to sign up for Gamefly. Get a friend to sign up for an awesome video games by mail service and get free books? Hell yes.

I'm a little ticked that Nightshade City's title didn't show up properly in this photo because it's a beautiful cover and Hilary Wagner is the best ever. It's very exciting because this is the first time ever that I have actually held a real life book in my hand that was written by someone I know, sort of. Hilary is the nicest person you could ever meet. Be sure to visit her blog here and become a follower. You can also read the post where she shared her query with me and The QQQE readers, here.

Linger was sent to me by none other than the lovely Candace Ganger (Beth), because she hearts me (Tim) and wanted to get some crap out of her way before she moved (after). That's what the pink post-it says. "Thanks for taking some crap off my hands, Tim". Candace and I have nick names for each other because we are both slightly mentally ill. Or at least I am. I don't know her well enough to know for sure. Now I have to run out and buy Shiver because my daughter Kylie really wants to jump right into that series.

I had wanted to read Nightshade City right away but my younger daughter Madison has now claimed that one. That's okay. Catching Fire will get me through the weekend.

What are you all reading now? Don't you love having free books show up at your door?

I Got U

BLOGFEST?!?

As most of you know if you've read this blog for very long I don't do blogfests. I don't do blog hops, contests, or awards either. This is not because I hate humanity. I promise. In fact I love you guys. You brought me back from the underwear soiled edge of despair at which I almost gave up writing.

Okay, that might be a little dramatic, but seriously, you guys rock!

The real reason I don't do these follower deluge inducing exercises is because I'm just not organized enough. Case in point: I was supposed to take part in Sheri Larsen's awesome I Got U blogfest ... wait for it ... yesterday. Yeah. I'm on top of it like that. Not to make excuses but I generally write my blog posts the morning of. Unless I have a guest. That would just be rude.

The idea is to give one of your fellow bloggers some love. I'm sort of like a hot ghetto mess of love for ALL my fellow bloggers so it's tough to pick just one, but I do try to build the community up whenever I can so this is a great topic for me. I have selected Candace Ganger to highlight today because ... well for many reasons, but mostly because we're kindred spirits and she rocks.

I could go on for quite some time about what is wonderful about Candace, but I'll try to keep this simple. On the surface the thing that endears me to Candace most is her sense of humor and her honesty. Candace is a lot like myself in that she is rude, crass, and jaded - er, wait ... I meant witty, hilarious, and ultimately ghetto fabulous. Candace has a unique, sort of twisted sense of humor that makes me laugh and cry while peeing my pants just a teeny bit nearly every single day. Hubs is kind of funny too.

Candace also has a wisdom and an outlook on the world that only comes from having lived a tough life full of pain. It wouldn't be my place to talk about this at all if she weren't so open and honest about the real her quite regularly on her blog. This is another thing we have in common, though Candace is better at expressing it.

If it were just these things about Candace she would already be pretty fresh (like a rapper fresh, not like produce) but there is more. We all know of her love of all things Matt Brady and New Medicine, but Candace is also one of the most giving bloggers I know. Not only was she the first to interview the little angel that is Lenny Lee, but she also held one of the most epic and selfless/giving contests I have ever had the privilege to bear witness to.

It's over but you should still go check out her Joy to the World contest just to get an idea of what a beautiful heart this lady has. Yes I did win a prize in the contest (it was a tandem critique from authors Tawna Fenske and Cynthia Reese, and it's been the best thing that happened to my book, ever), but that's not what makes it awesome. What makes it awesome is the cause. The cause and how much work, love, blood, sweat, and letting go of fear that Candace put into making it a success. She had t-shirts, custom graphics, music downloads, and so much more, all in an effort to improve the lives of our fellow human beings in Ghana, a country where a bucket for clean drinking water is a luxury of the wealthy.

Sweet, hilarious, kind and giving? AND organized enough to pull off something as epic as Joy to the World? Candace gets my vote for blogger of the universe any day.

That's all I have for now. I know I'm late to the party (sorry Sheri) but please take a moment to visit these other bloggers who participated in the I Got U blogfest:

Beth Fred

PK Hrezo

Tessa Conte

Summer Ross

WritersBlockNZ

The Alliterative Allomorph

Literary Jam & Toast

Leigh Moore

Lenny's World

Random Thoughts

Book Dreaming

Burnt Amber

My Dear Trash

Creepy Query Girl

Those links are to their front pages, so if they posted today you'll have to check the archives from yesterday for their post for the blogfest, but you can blame me and my seat of the pants blogging habits for screwing that up for everybody.

Announcement: If you look at my sub-sub title you will see that I have no guest set up for tomorrow's post. I have no idea what I'm going to write about. What I need from you people is help finding some more guests. Anyone who has ever submitted a query to an agent that earned them at least a partial request can take part. You just have to have a copy of that query you can share with me. Do any of you have one? Know someone who does? Know someone who might have one but you don't know for sure and want me to ask them?

Let me know. Thanks a million.