tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post921832537866255772..comments2023-11-06T13:07:23.645-05:00Comments on The Quintessentially Questionable Query Experiment: Toni Sinns' Current QueryMatthew MacNishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03264738483763244969noreply@blogger.comBlogger36125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post-76086165836158778832012-02-07T13:27:29.103-05:002012-02-07T13:27:29.103-05:00This comment has been removed by the author.Suzie F.https://www.blogger.com/profile/09560250678212373878noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post-22865635668577089782012-02-07T00:08:33.270-05:002012-02-07T00:08:33.270-05:00A PB query! I'll be back tomorrow to throw in ...A PB query! I'll be back tomorrow to throw in my two cents. In the meantime, kudos for putting this forward, Toni. Thanks for sharing your work so we can all learn from it.Ishta Mercuriohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17776946702988283453noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post-67760155405018966952012-02-06T22:38:03.686-05:002012-02-06T22:38:03.686-05:00Work your magic query wand, Matt.Work your magic query wand, Matt.Karen Baldwinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01522178275164058849noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post-61210879089008954672012-02-06T22:24:25.810-05:002012-02-06T22:24:25.810-05:00This sounds just the thing for my 1 and 3 year old...This sounds just the thing for my 1 and 3 year old grandchildren. Its very cute.<br /><br />Good luck with this Toni :)<br /><br />........dholedolorahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08715849844092553699noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post-47426876522313068202012-02-06T21:33:57.210-05:002012-02-06T21:33:57.210-05:00Hooray for dragons. There can't be too many dr...Hooray for dragons. There can't be too many dragons in the world. Thanks for taking the plunge and letting us learn with you?Kristen Pelfreyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16597847659067142053noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post-72238790608120834192012-02-06T21:33:49.855-05:002012-02-06T21:33:49.855-05:00Welcome Toni. Thanks for sharing your query with ...Welcome Toni. Thanks for sharing your query with us. I've written some PB manuscripts.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18226974782422398270noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post-19443374454014213062012-02-06T19:54:23.361-05:002012-02-06T19:54:23.361-05:00Aw, sounds like a cute idea. Definitely could use...Aw, sounds like a cute idea. Definitely could use some work on the query- I'm interested to see what you have to say, Matt.Abby Minardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11963640263845561309noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post-67100521020274397552012-02-06T18:27:22.586-05:002012-02-06T18:27:22.586-05:00I don't know how PBs are pitched but I would s...I don't know how PBs are pitched but I would say to choose one title.Southpawhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16539290964546504171noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post-22438226428599205562012-02-06T17:14:48.688-05:002012-02-06T17:14:48.688-05:00Oooo, PBs are wonderful--but hard to put into a qu...Oooo, PBs are wonderful--but hard to put into a query, I can imagine as so much of the story is in the pictures.Barbara Watsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06547166495514562286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post-91622386295127826702012-02-06T16:39:53.664-05:002012-02-06T16:39:53.664-05:00I agree with all Stina said.
I have no experience...I agree with all Stina said.<br /><br />I have no experience with PB's, but a sales pitch is a sales pitch.<br /><br />Maybe baby dragon should have a name? And I'd put the length and housekeeping stuff later. Open with a hook.<br /><br />Best of luck, Toni. It sounds like a great story.M Paxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14096697282530998519noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post-21500703534343400632012-02-06T15:58:16.021-05:002012-02-06T15:58:16.021-05:00I want a baby dragon. Just sayin'.I want a baby dragon. Just sayin'.Bryan Russellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09555071335245492790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post-14877311099947751062012-02-06T15:07:09.673-05:002012-02-06T15:07:09.673-05:00The book sounds sweet and fun. My main feedback is...The book sounds sweet and fun. My main feedback is to write it in a more active voice. What works with writing in books works with queries too. Best wishes.Melissa Ann Goodwinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13454907380469372468noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post-66530748087045503182012-02-06T14:40:32.860-05:002012-02-06T14:40:32.860-05:00Query needs to nail down just ONE title.
The stor...Query needs to nail down just ONE title.<br /><br />The story sounds incredible. We all need to find our voice, don't we?Jay Noelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04757777693161610861noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post-33064667453520778322012-02-06T14:02:04.459-05:002012-02-06T14:02:04.459-05:00Hi Toni! Following up on Natalie's comment, he...Hi Toni! Following up on Natalie's comment, here's a helpful post by children's literary agent, Mary Kole, on the subject of pb queries. <br /><br />http://kidlit.com/2010/09/27/picture-book-queries/<br /><br />Hope you find it helpful and can't wait for tomorrow's critique :)Suzie F.https://www.blogger.com/profile/09560250678212373878noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post-64019884043709341672012-02-06T14:01:45.939-05:002012-02-06T14:01:45.939-05:00Interested on your thoughts about this one Matt--i...Interested on your thoughts about this one Matt--it comes across much differently than an older age group novel, and I have no idea of that is how you handle PBs or not! Looking forward to finding out! :)<br /><br />I like the idea of a dragon trying to find it's voice--it has great kid appeal. :)<br /><br />Angela @ The Bookshelf MuseAngela Ackermanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01808259088625142389noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post-72912747584693326832012-02-06T13:23:20.045-05:002012-02-06T13:23:20.045-05:00The story sounds adorable. It definitely needs som...The story sounds adorable. It definitely needs some tightening, assuming that it still has to fit the basic query mold. I agree that there should just be one title. Good luck!Lydia Kanghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00484415427764822386noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post-60836232137112109132012-02-06T12:49:27.926-05:002012-02-06T12:49:27.926-05:00That's certainly an interesting concept. A dra...That's certainly an interesting concept. A dragon finding its sound like a person finding their voice? That's what I took from the query. :)David P. Kinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17259276981865439853noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post-9228541317198698432012-02-06T12:23:42.617-05:002012-02-06T12:23:42.617-05:00If it's a picture book, you totally should hav...If it's a picture book, you totally should have linked Colbert's interview with Maurice Sendak! It's so lolable. If you haven't seen it, Google "Grim Colberty Tales"Michael Offutt, Phantom Readerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10557969104886174930noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post-22917782638334444882012-02-06T12:22:09.288-05:002012-02-06T12:22:09.288-05:00My only experience is reading to my kids. This sou...My only experience is reading to my kids. This sounds like exactly the kind of thing I would have bought when they were little. Also, I'm wondering if picture book queries need to include art. That seems like a major component and reason to publish/purchase.Johanna Garthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15515478890074610814noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post-2406678406203522702012-02-06T12:13:16.880-05:002012-02-06T12:13:16.880-05:00I haven't seen a query letter for a picture bo...I haven't seen a query letter for a picture book yet. I'm interested to see what Matthew has to say. Thanks for sharing it with us Toni.Jessica Salyerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00227752359369023249noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post-67517303491628250332012-02-06T11:50:39.495-05:002012-02-06T11:50:39.495-05:00I don't write PB but I've read my share, s...I don't write PB but I've read my share, since I have young children.<br />Thank you for sharing your query with us, Toni.<br />I would suggest picking one title for the query, otherwise you sound undecided. There is too much of "the baby dragon" in the query and it gets distracting. Use a few different identifiers, like "he", or "she", or "the baby", "junior" etc.<br />I would like to know what does "not finding the voice with others, but only with his/her mother" teach the reader? What is the purpose of this story?<br />Also, I would get rid of the sentence in which you tell the prospective agent about how confident you are in terms of selling this book.<br />Good luck! :-)Author A.O. Pearthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09522726537375775560noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post-4975463981092782222012-02-06T10:45:36.279-05:002012-02-06T10:45:36.279-05:00I've never written a query for a picture book ...I've never written a query for a picture book before (though I have one percolating), but I suspect most of the rules are the same. Looking forward to seeing some of the feedback.Dawn Iushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01546425873531022196noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post-1614131157370166632012-02-06T10:20:55.805-05:002012-02-06T10:20:55.805-05:00A PB, interesting! :) I can already see something ...A PB, interesting! :) I can already see something that needs to be axed in the third paragraph! But overall, great tale!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post-87902458547672360512012-02-06T10:12:01.090-05:002012-02-06T10:12:01.090-05:00I don't know from picture books, but I think t...I don't know from picture books, but I think this sounds like the cutest story ever. And as a little girl, I loved magical stories like this. :o) Best of luck w/it!<br /><br />what's happening Friday??? ;pLTMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05239077455322030275noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post-74124872851132294732012-02-06T09:55:38.416-05:002012-02-06T09:55:38.416-05:00i'll try to be back tomorrow. Though i'm n...i'll try to be back tomorrow. Though i'm not going to lie. It is my b-day tomorrow and i may forget. If i do, i'll show up on another day, though, even if i am lateSarah Ahiershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02795455714801965956noreply@blogger.com