tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post5474327726571499562..comments2023-11-06T13:07:23.645-05:00Comments on The Quintessentially Questionable Query Experiment: Todd Noker's Current Query CritiquedMatthew MacNishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03264738483763244969noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post-9525246577055601672017-04-03T13:30:18.334-04:002017-04-03T13:30:18.334-04:00Good to see that you are back to critiquing query ...Good to see that you are back to critiquing query letters. Isn't it wonderful how successful Sarah Falen is now? Sorry I've been gone so long. I didn't have internet until last week.Michael Offutt, Phantom Readerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10557969104886174930noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post-33410584819090240602017-03-13T15:00:35.752-04:002017-03-13T15:00:35.752-04:00Good luck, Matt!Good luck, Matt!Susan Kanehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09834094675218254410noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post-12540818523959890202017-03-11T18:41:53.504-05:002017-03-11T18:41:53.504-05:00Matt is spot on (as always)! Slightly more detail ...Matt is spot on (as always)! Slightly more detail about the MC would suffice. Overall, as an agent I would at least skim the pages. The premise is relatively undone in the genre and approaching it with a wry tone will also be interesting to read. Well done!Elena Solodowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03037029195682225565noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post-14649672496654099902017-03-11T17:22:19.259-05:002017-03-11T17:22:19.259-05:00I agree with everything Dianne and Matt said. More...I agree with everything Dianne and Matt said. More specifics. Like does Preston become homeless, too? Why is he searching among the homeless teens to find his brother? And what about the search for his brother after he encounters Zack? Is it forgotten? Sounds like a great story!mshatchhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06308916014310536449noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5345890055658252124.post-13792277908137552012017-03-11T15:44:08.166-05:002017-03-11T15:44:08.166-05:00I agree with everything Matt said here. My initial...I agree with everything Matt said here. My initial thought when reading this query yesterday was that the premise was interesting and unique, but there wasn't enough specific detail in the query to make me want to read more. <br /><br />I don't know much about Preston as a person, and I didn't quite grasp if he is homeless, or just searching among the homeless. The query says that Zack disappears. Is he dead? Because Preston wants revenge instead of wanting to find his brother. Why does he want revenge instead of bringing the culprit to justice? And as for the man, why is Preston unsure he will survive the date with him -- is the guy a serial killer? Instead of the vague phrasing of "locked in a situation where he might also be consumed in the same way as Zack," I'd rather know the specific danger. Don't be afraid of giving away spoilers. You want the agent to know what's in the book that will make her/him want to read it.<br /><br />I hope this helps you pin down the kind of specifics you'll want to get into your query -- and good luck!Dianne K. Salernihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16459839567235304842noreply@blogger.com